Unacceptable Loss
by islandlover
Summary: So this is a really sad one. Maura is pregnant and Jane is there to help, through the good and the bad. I'm really bad at summaries but this isn't your average Rizzles baby fanfic I swear. Be warned of sensitive subject matter, and yes eventually there will be Rizzles. Rated T but some chapters are M ;)
1. Chapter 1

**So this is gonna be a tear jerker guys. Just letting you know. Well not this chapter, this is actually the only happy chapter. Anyway enjoy, and review;)**

Jane walked into the morgue with two coffees in hand to see her best friend captivated by a brown paper package in her hands

"What's that? New shoes?" The detective asked as she slipped Maura's mocha latte into her hand. The blonde didn't respond. She just stood there, staring at the package. Apparently lost for words.

"Maura? Maur what's wrong? What is that?" Jane asked, concerned.

"It's... I, uh..." She was having trouble finding the correct words to tell her best friend what she had done.

"You what?"

"Um, well... Okay remember a few weeks ago when I told you Ian had called? And we talked for a while?" Maura was sitting now and Jane pulled a chair up next to her.

"Yea, you said you guys just talked about his work?... You said he probably wouldn't be coming back." Jane said quietly, knowing this was a delicate topic.

"Yes, well that wasn't all we talked about. After he told me he wasn't coming back, I asked him for a favor. Something I couldn't do on my own and he owed me at least this much"

"What did you ask for?" Jane was extremely curious now.

"I asked for him to..." She didn't finish, but closed her eyes tight and took a deep breath.

"To what Maura?!"

Silence.

"Maura!"

"I asked him to give me his sperm! I wanted a baby!" Maura blurted loudly, her eyes still shut in embarrassment.

Jane said nothing. Her eyes were wide and now she was the one at a loss for words.

Finally she croaked out, "you want a baby?"

"...yes, I want a baby" Maura responded quietly

Jane stood up and gave her a hug.

"Jane... what are you doing?"

"I'm hugging you"

"I can see that, may I ask why?"

Jane pulled back and stared at her a little confused

"Maura, you just told me you want to have a baby. And call me super detective but I'm assuming that package is Ian's...contribution."

"You are correct but I always thought you didn't like kids, why are you so happy for me?"

"You are my best friend! Of course I'm happy for you! I just didn't know you were so serious about this when we talked about it last time. And I like kids, I just don't want any of my own" she smirked

Maura smiled at the brunette, "thank you Jane"

"Anytime. So...are you gonna like, turkey-baster that or what?" She asked gesturing to the package on the desk

Maura laughed "no, I will inseminate myself if that is what you mean, but I can assure you I will NOT be using a turkey-baster. That's unsanitary."

It was Jane's turn to laugh, but her phone went off before she could say anything else.

She looked at the message and sighed, "it's Ma, I'm gonna be late for dinner." She snapped her phone shut and placed a hand on each of Maura's shoulders

"I'm really happy for you Maur, and good luck with...all that" She pointed to the package again and gave the doctor one last hug before leaving.

When Maura got home she pulled the steal cylindrical container out of the package and headed for the bathroom.

* * *

Five weeks later Maura walked into the bullpen at BPD, a grin as big as that of the Cheshire cat from 'Alice in Wonderland' plastered on her face.

She walked straight up to Jane, grabbed her by the upper arm, and began dragging her towards the restroom.

"Woah- Maura what are you- I can walk by myself thank you!" The detective stammered as they reached the bathroom and Maura locked the door behind them.

"Ok now I'm freaking out what's wrong? Jane questioned.

Maura pulled a handful of white sticks out of her purse and thrust them into Jane's hand, a goofy grin still on her face.

Jane took a closer look at the objects and then suddenly dropped them on the counter, realizing what they were. "Aw geez, gross Maur are those yours? Oh shit wait are those yours?!" She picked them up again not caring at all anymore, and inspected each one.

"Positive, positive, happy face, PREGNANT," Jane read aloud "Maura oh my god you're pregnant!"

"Maura nodded vigorously unable to speak. She bit her lip as she smiled and a single tear rolled down her cheek. "Yea I am" was all she could say.

Jane wrapped her arms around her best friend and spun her in a circle.

"Oh, sorry! That's probably not a good idea huh?" Jane chuckled as she put her down gently

"Oh, no it's fine. A fetus can actually withstand incredible amounts of pressure" she smiled bigger when she said the word "fetus"

They stood there and smiled at each other for a moment

"You know," Jane started "I'll be here for you right? Like doctors appointments, babysitting, all that. I know it can't be easy to raise a kid yourself and so I'll be here to help. Whenever you need"

Maura started getting choked up again, then laughed lightly. "Hormones" she explained, and Jane laughed too.

"Thank you Jane, you don't know how much that means to me. I can truly say this is the happiest moment of my life, thus far"

**Review! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

For the next Month, experienced every early pregnancy symptom possible. Every morning at 5am on the dot, a wave of nausea engulfed her and she had to sprint to the bathroom to ensure she wouldn't spill the contents of her stomach all over the bedroom floor. She would sit in front of the toilet for at least an hour, dry-heaving and gagging up stomach bile after there was nothing else left to regurgitate. She began arriving to work more and more exhausted, unable to sleep at night because of the morning sickness and the constant ache in her back. Her eyes now had dark circles under them, and it even got to the point where she wasn't even bothering to wear heels anymore. But despite all that, she was definetly glowing. Jane walked into the medical examiner's office numerous times to see her asleep in her chair, a tiny drop of drool escaping her lips, and her now Chuck-Taylor wearing feet up on the desk. Jane would just laugh and go gently wake her. Although a few times she snapped some pictures to use as blackmail later.

By the time Maura had reached her fifteenth week, the symptoms began to subside.

"I thought pregnancy symptoms went away after like, the first trimester?" Jane inquired one day as they ate lunch up in the bullpen at Jane's desk.

"Normally they do, but everyone is different. Oh, and I have a doctor's appointment today, would you like to go?"

"Of course, I've been to almost all of them already haven't I?" Jane gave her a dimpled smile

Maura reciprocated with a smile of her own and added, "yes I suppose you have, but don't try to change my mind again when we get there. I do not want to know the sex of the baby and that's final."

Jane frowned at her "fine, but cant I at least know?"

"No, you are horrible at keeping secrets and you would let it slip"

Jane had no response. She was right. When it came to Maura she couldn't control her secret-keeping abilities.

"Alright alright, what time is your appointment anyway?"

"At 9:15" Maura answered as she took another bite of her sandwich

"Maura! It's 9:05! We gotta go!" She stood quickly and threw on her jacket, taking Maura's sandwich-free hand and helping her up.

"Is it?! I swear if I keep losing track of time I'm going to forget to come to work one day!"

They walked quickly to the elevator, to the parking lot and into the car. Maura finished her lunch on the way.

She lie on the doctor's table with a gown on, playing with her thumbs while Jane sat in a chair in the corner flipping through a magazine. She looked up from it to see her nervous friend chewing on her lip and tapping her foot.

"Maur" she said as she stood up, tossing the magazine on the chair, "everything is fine okay? There is no need to be nervous." She gave her a genuine smile and put a hand on her knee reassuringly.

Maura moved to a sitting position and looked up at Jane "You're right, but I have come to understand that it is pointless to tell a mother not the be nervous about her child's health" she smile apologetically

"You are absolutely right Maura. Mothers will always worry, but you just got that chemical-free manicure yesterday and I know you'll be pissed if you mess it up already"

Maura looked down at her fingers and laughed "I suppose you're right"

Jane winked at her and said "I'm always right."

The door opened and a female doctor walked in. She was tall, brunette with blue eyes. Kind eyes. She and Maura had gone to medical school together and were good friends.

"Maura, it's good to see you again. How are you feeling?"

"Hi Jessica, I'm doing better. The morning sickness had finally subsided. I was worried I would have it all throughout the pregnancy." She answered honestly.

"Well that can happen sometimes, but I'm glad its gone now. Are you ready for the ultrasound?"

"Yes!" Maura responded, excited now. She had already framed the other sonogram picture she had received last time and was eager to do the same with this one. Not to mention there was nothing better than getting to see the child you were carrying.

She opened the gown for the doctor and Jane scooted her chair closer to her. Cold blue goop squeezed out onto Maura's lower abdomen with an unappealing _splat!_

The doctor maneuvered the wand until it settled on a grey figure, and a steady thumping sound filled the room.

Maura beamed at the image and the sound.

"Looks healthy, very strong heartbeat" Jessica smiled at the mother and pride filled Maura's eyes

"That's my baby" she whispered to herself

Jane kissed Maura's temple, moved by the sight and whispered, "Yea Maur- strong like you"

Maura grab her hand and squeezed it in gratitude.

"You sure you don't want to know the gender?" Jessica asked

Without waiting for Jane to argue Maura answered, "Yes I am sure" and Jane slumped back into her chair.

"Alright, well I am going to get you a refill on your prenatal vitamins and then get this image printed up. Sound good?" The doctor inquired as she handed Maura a towel to wipe to goo off with

"Oh can you print up two copies?" Jane asked

"Sure thing" and she left the room.

Maura looked at Jane

"What? I want a picture too" She shrugged and smiled

"Well, her godmother does deserve to have one as well"

"Damn right" Jane winked

Maura giggled, "Language"

* * *

Another month passed, and Maura was in her 20th week. She had developed a very obvious bump along with other pregnancy indicators. Although Jane claimed to not notice, Maura's feet had swollen substantially and her hips had significantly widened.

She sat at home alone, crossed legged on the couch, leaning back with a pillow supporting her and and book of baby names on her lap.

Normally on evenings like this Jane would come over and they would eat pineapple pizza while discussing potential occupations of the baby. Jane was, for some reason, convinced that if it was a boy, it would be a fire fighter. But today Jane had finally closed a case she had been working on for weeks and went home early to catch up on all the sleep she'd missed out on.

One of Maura's hands slowly caressed her swollen stomach as the other flipped the page. She had finally found a comfortable position and didn't realize it when she began dozing off.

She woke with a gasp and shot up into a sitting position. Sweat beaded her forehead and she suddenly felt very nervous about something. She looked at the clock by the TV and read 2:03am.

She sat for a moment trying to remember the bad dream that had awoken her.

Finally she gave up and put one hand on the arm of the couch and the other on her belly as she attempted to stand. The second she was on her feet, she felt a quick sharp pain coming from low in her stomach.

She inhaled sharply through gritted teeth before muttering, "Oh, boy"

She wasn't exactly sure what it was, but she was almost positive it was not pre-term labor. She decided to be safe and put on some sweat pants, a hoodie, and boots before heading out into the winter night towards her car.

As she drove to the hospital she kept one hand on her belly the whole time and whispered to her unborn child, "We're going to be fine. Nothing is wrong, It'll be fine. I'm sure it's nothing."

She pulled into the thankfully uncrowded hospital and was quickly admitted to an exam room. She requested her personal doctor be paged and a nurse poked her head around the curtain after a few minutes and said, "I paged Dr. Rollin's, she should be here shortly. Are you sure you don't want me to examine you?"

"Thank you, I feel more comfortable with my own physician." Maura answered as sweetly as she could

"No problem ma'am, she should be here momentarily" The nurse responded before walking away

"Ma'am?" Maura said to herself, frowning. She looked down at her stomach and asked her baby, "I'm not old enough to be called ma'am, am I?"

After about the longest ten minutes of her life, her friend and doctor appeared through the curtain.

"Hey Maura, what's wrong, is everything okay?" She asked as she began taking the woman's pulse and attaching her to a fetal monitor

"I think so, I don't know. I was sleeping and I woke up with this weird feeling and then I had a cramp somewhere around here" she pointed to an area of her stomach, right below her belly button.

"What kind of feeling? Like a physical one?" Jessica asked

"No, I just suddenly felt anxious and nervous. I don't know, maybe I'm going crazy or maybe it's hormones but I just wanted to be safe" Maura answered apologetically

"You aren't crazy, you're smart to come in. Lets just take an ultrasound really quick and see what's going on in there"

Maura laid down on the table and lifted her maternity top, exposing her bulging belly and the dot that was her belly button that Jane so lovingly called her "snooze button"

This time the gel was warm and the doctor moved the wand around her stomach in search of a heartbeat. Maura stared at the ceiling waiting for the rapid _thump thump thump _of her baby's heart.

60 whole seconds passed without a sound.

Maura looked quickly at her friend, but before she could ask her anything, she saw the woman's face.

All emotion had left, and her eyes stared at the black and white screen with such sadness that Maura felt like she could feel her heart stop cold.

"Jessica" she whispered, her eyes growing wide and her lip quivering.

Her doctor said nothing, instead she looked at the floor for a moment, closed her eyes and took a breath.

"JESSICA!" Maura now yelled, fear she had never felt before washing over her like a tsunami.

The brunette woman looked up at her patient.

A mother.

About to hear the worst thing she could ever be told.

She rolled her chair up next to the exam table and took Maura's hand in her own.

Before she could even say anything Maura began shaking her head.

"I'm...so sorry, Maura..."

"No, please..." Maura whispered. She could feel her body begin to shake.

This wasn't happening.

Not to her. Not to her baby.

She was supposed to have a little boy, who would be Boston's finest fire fighter.

Her vision got blurry and she couldn't hear anything anymore, it all sounded fuzzy and distant.

And when she heard Jessica's voice again, it sounded like it was echoing and coming from far away.

"There...is no heartbeat. The baby didn't survive. I'm so, so sorry sweetie. Is there anyone I can call for you?

Maura was silent.

Finally she shook her head no.

"You should have someone here"

"What do I do now?" Maura asked suddenly. She felt numb. Like and empty shell

"Well, I am going to give you some medicine that will activate labor. And in about 20-30 hours you will come back in when the labor has progressed enough" she didn't need to finish. Maura knew what happened next.

She would give birth to her dead child.

Maura silently asked for the discharge papers and as she filled them out her IV was put in to administer her medication.

Before she knew what happened she was standing outside of the hospital, staring out into the black sky as white snow swirled all around her. The wind howling violently and her teeth chattering.

But she felt nothing.

Her face was blank and both hands rested on her stomach, her unmoving stomach.

She pulled out her phone and dialed Jane's number

"Hello?" a groggy Jane said from the other line. "Maura?"

"I'm at the hospital, can you come get me?" She said quietly

"What's wrong? Is everything okay with the baby?" Jane was already getting her shoes on

"Just come. Please" She answered solemnly, and clicked the phone shut.

She stared out again into the night as the blizzard raged on around her.

**What do you think? I'm still not sure weather I'm gonna rizzle this or not. Review please! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Maura hadn't moved an inch.

She didn't know if minutes had passed or days.

Finally she saw Jane's car pull up in front of her and her best friend stepped out rushing over. "Maura! what are you doing out here, it's freezing! This can't be good for you OR the baby!"

At that Maura snapped out of the trance she was in at looked at Jane, who now stood directly in front of her.

"What's wrong? Maura? You are freaking me out. Talk!" she reached out and placed a hand on Maura's which was placed on her distended stomach.

"Take me home, Jane" was all she said.

Normally Jane would have said no, not until she answered her. But the snow began to fall heavier and she could see Maura's lips turning blue, so she guided her to the car and put her in the front seat.

They pulled out and began driving back to Maura's.

"Okay, seriously Maur you need to tell me what is going on." She took her eyes off the road for a millisecond to look at her friend.

Maura was looking at her belly and was slowly rubbing it with both hands, her face emotionless.

"I need you to take me back to the hospital, between 20 and 30 hours from now" she she said quietly

"why?" Jane pushed.

"...because" Maura closed her eyes, "because the baby died, and they gave me-"

The car screeched to a stop.

Jane looked at Maura, trying to read her face. "The baby...what?" She whispered, not sure if she heard correctly.

Maura wouldn't make eye-contact, she just kept looking at her stomach and rubbing it.

Moment's passed and Jane finally reached forward and put her hand under her friends chin and lifted it so their eyes met.

She had never seen Maura like this before.

All the joy and happiness that Maura just gave off naturally was gone. There was no sparkle in her eye, or emotion to her face.

Her soulful and bubbly best friend had turned into an empty shell of sadness and longing for something that would never be.

Finally Maura spoke, "Jane...take me home"

* * *

When they walked through the door Maura walked over to the couch and sat down, Jane right behind her.

She looked around and saw the baby name book lying open and upside down on a couch cushion, and the latest sonogram was framed and sitting on the coffee table.

Jane took one of Maura's hands in her own and gave it a squeeze.

Maura looked up at her. Suddenly, all of the emotions she had been unwilling or unable to express came flooding out of her all at once.

She let out a loud sob and clamped her free hand over her mouth, while the other was squeezing Jane's so hard it was shaking.

"Oh, Maur-" Jane started and moved closer to her friend.

Maura's whole body was wracked with her loud, screaming sobs as she leaned her head onto Jane's shoulder.

Jane's heart broke. This woman was her best friend. She was smart, and caring, and she had so much love to give.

She didn't deserve this.

She would have been an incredible mother.

Jane put one hand on the back of Maura's head and put the other on her back, rubbing circles as she tried to sooth her.

Maura dropped her hand to her stomach. She still couldn't believe what was happening.

She kept waiting to feel a kick. A small flutter that had made her giggle for the past five weeks every time she felt it.

But she felt nothing.

She sobbed harder into Jane and the detective pulled her closer and held her in her arms.

Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's neck and continued to cry convulsively.

After an hour, the sobs had quieted to silent tears and shaking shoulders and Maura pressed her face into Jane's neck.

Jane stood up, lifting up Maura as she did.

Even though she had gained weight throughout her pregnancy, she was still relatively tiny. And Jane was strong.

She carried her into her bedroom and laid her down on the bed.

When Jane tried to stand back up Maura tightened her grip on her neck,

"Don't l-leave m-me. P-please" she said in a choked whisper.

"I won't Maura, I promise." She laid down next to the woman and scooted closer to her.

Maura curled up in a ball as Jane held her and she wept.

They stayed like that all night until Maura physically could not cry any more.

Her body was sore and her throat hurt, but she didn't care.

She didn't care about anything anymore.

Neither one of them slept. They laid awake all night in silence.

Finally Jane asked, "what happens in 20-30 hours?" remembering suddenly what Maura had said in the car.

The blonde was silent for a minute.

"They gave me... medicine. To start my labor. In 20-30 hours it will have p-progressed enough for me to b-be admitted back to the hospital."

Jane nodded in silent understanding.

This was the worst day of her best friends life. And it had only just begun.

**Let me know what you guys think. Reviews make my life**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! I'm glad and thankful for all the reviews. This is a hard topic to write about but I feel like it's almost refreshing to have a story out there that talks about the hard stuff, you know? This is the kind of thing that really happens, it may be dark but it is also honest. Life's a bitch and bad things happen to good people.**  
**Anyway I hope you like the chapter. I like to think that my "signature" as a fic writer is my consistant updates. I usually post a new chapter everyday, especially because I already have up to chapter 8 already written. ;)**

* * *

By seven in the morning Maura had fallen into a light sleep. Jane took the opportunity to send a text to Korsak, letting him know both she and Maura wouldn't be a work for at least the rest of the week. Even though she knew it would be a long time before Maura could go back to work.

Jane glanced at the alarm clock on the dresser. Counting down how many hours it had been since Maura had received the medication to start her labor.

It had been four hours. She didn't know how long this would take but figured it would be soon.

As if on cue she saw Maura's face scrunch up and her hand shoot down to her abdomen as she moaned in pain.

Jane moved lay next to her, facing her, and put one of her own hands on her friends stomach.

She used her other hand to hold onto Maura's

"Squeeze as hard as you need to okay? I'm not going anywhere"

Maura squeezed for about thirty seconds until the contraction passed. When she opened her eyes again she began to cry.

Jane kissed her forehead, it was killing her to see her friend in this much pain. Both physical and emotional

"What do you need me to do? Name it and it's done. Tell me what you need." Jane whispered to her

Maura stayed silent for a minute and then, "I...I'm not comfortable in this position" she said quietly, "I think, I need to move."

Jane helped her sit up against the head board and carefully positioned pillows all around to make her more comfortable.

"Hows that?"

"Better, thank you."

Suddenly they heard the side door in the kitchen open and Angela Rizzoli's voice ring out through the house

"Maura! Are you here?!"

"Shit" Jane said "I'll go see what she wants, be right back." She leaped out of the bed and huried down the stairs to meet her mother in the kitchen

"Janie, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I'm here with Maura, Ma. She's upstairs" Jane wasn't sure how to explain the situation to her mother. She was so excited when she found out Maura was pregnant. She said it was the closest thing she had to a grandchild so far.

This was going to break her heart.

"Why are you both here?" Angela was getting suspicious now, "what's going on Jane?" The older woman put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at her daughter. A look Jane had seen too many times to count.

"Ma you should sit down, I gotta tell you something"

"Oh god," Angela started as she took a seat on the bar stool

"Uh, last night...Maura..um.." She knew how awful the situation was, but saying the words out loud made it seem very real, and a tear slid down her cheek before she had a chance to wipe it away.

"Oh sweetie," Angela said placing a hand on her daughters face and using a thumb to wipe away the tear.

_"okay, I just gotta say it, rip off the band-aid"_ Jane thought. "Uh, last night Maura...miscarried, Ma. They gave her medicine at the hospital to make her labor start and she has to go back after its progressed far enough to...have the baby."

Angela put her hands over her mouth in shock, and she sat there with tears in her eyes staring at Jane, waiting for her to say that this was all some cruel joke.

"Ma? you ok?" Jane asked, but before she could get an answer her mother stood up and headed for the stairs

"Uh, Ma that's not such a good idea. She's not really in the mood for-"

Too late.

Angela had already walked to the open bedroom door, where Maura was propped up against the head of the bed, both hands gripping her belly and a whimper escaping her lips as another contraction took over.

Her heart clenched at the sight. The strongest, most poised and professional woman she knew was now at her lowest and most vulnerable.

She slowly walked into the room and Maura finally noticed her presence. Without saying a word Angela sat on the bed next to her and pulled her into a hug.

Jane watched the sight from the doorway, and she realized something.

Angela could connect with Maura in one way that Jane couldn't. They were both mothers, and one had lost a child. Angela could only imagine the pain Maura was in, Jane couldn't even begin to fathom it. Angela whispered something in Maura's ear and she nodded. Then the older woman pulled away, kissed her on the forehead, and walked over to Jane.

"Take care of her Janie, she's gonna need it."

"I will Ma, promise" she answered, kissing her mother on the cheek as she left and went back into the bedroom with Maura.


	5. Chapter 5

Three hours had passed and the labor was progressing incredibly slowly. Jane was sitting behind Maura now, who was still propped up on the bed, and was massaging her lower back.

"That better?" She asked as she rubbed out the tensing muscle

Maura let out a sad chuckle, "Define better"

Jane didn't know what to say, she put her chin on Maura's shoulder and The blonde leaned the side of her head against it, breathing heavily as the contraction subsided.

"I'm so sorry Maura, you don't deserve this" Jane whispered to her.

Maura squeezed her eyes shut to try and block the new tears forming, "I did something wrong" Maura whispered back, "I guess I'm not cut out for this, I deserve whatever I get."

"No" Jane responded flatly, "Maura you did nothing wrong? You hear me? NOTHING. You don't deserve this, no one does. And you are most definetly cut out for this, you will be an incredible mother. This doesn't have to be the end, you can keep trying. When you're ready, I'll be here every step of the way."

Maura was crying again, "What's the point of trying again, Jane?! Just to go through this all over again!? I can't! I can't ever do this again, why would I try? just to face disappointment! I don't even want to try now! But I don't have a choice, and the end result is a dead child! my dead child! All this waiting! and pain! and for what?! my baby to be stillborn?!" She sobbed as she screamed, and Jane just let her.

She needed to get out everything she had been bottling up. So Jane just wrapped her arms around her shoulders and took her hands. Squeezing her tight, rocking her back and for and murmuring "I know, I know sweetie" as Maura ranted.

Maura's body began to tense up again and her sobs turned into moans and whimpers. Jane could tell another contraction had started and she placed a hand low on Maura's stomach and rubbed it, while placing the other on her back to massage it.

Maura had showed her the specific pain points when the first few contractions started, so now every time one started again Jane knew exactly what to do.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital early? Maybe get some pain meds?" Jane asked innocently

"No, I always had planned for a natural birth. I'll be damned if I don't get at least one thing my way"

Her logic was odd, but Jane accepted it. If this is what Maura wanted then she would help her. No questions asked.

Jane's phone began to ring.

"It's Frost, I gotta take this Maur, I'll be right back" she placed a kiss on the woman's head and slid out from in between the head board and Maura's back, where she had been positioned. She walked out of the room and filled Frost in on everything.

Maura could hear her low voice turn grave as she delivered the bad news.

Suddenly she didn't want to be sitting any more. She slowly shifted to the edge of the bed and heaved herself off of it. She walked out of the room and saw Jane standing at the end of the hallway, her back towards her as she talked to Barry.

Maura moved the other way down the hall, towards the nursery.

She opened the door and gazed inside.

They hadn't gotten a chance to paint yet, but the cans of mint green were sitting on the far corner of the room covered in plastic.

The white crib still had the tag on it, and the rocking chair had never been sat in.

Maura waddled over to the chair and carefully backed up into it.

The material was soft and comfortable, it hugged her arms and sides as she rocked back and forth slowly. Subconsciously rubbing her stomach again.

She stared at the pristine crib and imagined herself standing over it, swooning over the beautiful baby that lay inside.

Jane went back into the master bedroom and almost dropped her phone on the wood floor when she saw the bed empty. Of course, there was only one other place Maura would be. Jane was worried this would happen.

She walked over to the nursery and stood in the doorway.

Maura was rocking silently on the rocking chair, rubbing her swollen belly and staring at the crib, her eyes beginning to glaze over.

"Come on, lets get you back to bed" Jane said walking forward and extending her hands for Maura to take and pull herself up with.

At first she did nothing, she didn't even turn to face Jane, then she whispered

"I was so close. I almost had it"

Jane didn't say anything, but waited for Maura to continue. Finally the blonde woman looked her straight in the eye,

"I almost had everything I ever wanted."

Jane gave a sad smile. Then Maura finally accepted her hands and used them to pull herself into a standing position and Jane helped her all the way back to the bedroom to continue her living hell.

**Sad I know. Tell me what you think though! reviews make my life.**


	6. Chapter 6

"I can't sit anymore, Jane. I-I need to be moving." Maura was bent over at a 90 degree angle against the nightstand fighting off a contraction. Jane kept trying to get her back into bed but she was refusing now.

"Alright, how about we walk around huh? Maybe it will move things a little faster."

Jane helped Maura into a standing position, put an arm around her waist and a hand on her stomach.

They walked out of the bedroom and began pacing up and down the hallway. Maura leaned her head on Jane shoulder and Jane kissed the top of it.

"You are the strongest person I know, Maura"

Silence.

"You are brave, and selfless, and you deserve everything you ever wanted."

Maura stopped walking, and so did Jane. The shorter woman looked up at her friend, the look of brokenness and longing that Jane had seen when she picked her up outside the hospital had never left. It would be a long time before it ever did.

Maura was about to respond, but closed her eyes tight as a contraction began again.

"Okay, alright, you're OK, hold onto me and breath. You're doing great Maur" Jane encouraged as Maura bent over and she could hear her trying to stifle the sobs.

"You wanna go back to bed hun?" Jane asked as she rubbed her back and took her hand

"No! That bed is driving me crazy, I can't get comfortable in it anymore."

"Alright well, how about the couch? I know you don't want to sit down but I feel like you are gonna fall over" she gave a small smile and looked at her friend

"I suppose" Maura answered

Jane took her hand and her waist and helped her down the stairs, slowly, and then laid her on the couch.

"So, I count about 9 minutes between the last two. I thought it would have moved further along by now" Jane told her as she lay next to Maura on the couch.

"Believe me Jane, I wish this was going faster too."

Jane swept a honey-blonde strand of hair off of a sweat covered forehead and asked, "you want me to get you some water? Maybe some tea?"

"Chamomile tea would be nice, thank you Jane"

"Don't mention it"

Jane walked to the kitchen and began putting water in the kettle. As she pulled out the box of tea bags she glanced over at the couch where Maura was laying. She was on her side, a couch cushion between her legs, and a hand gripping the side of the couch so hard she almost tore hole in it. Hot tears streamed down her face and her other hand was clamped tight over her mouth, trying not to sob, or scream, or both"

Jane was about to go over there and hold her as it passed, but she realized Maura was trying to ride the contraction out without Jane noticing.

Maura had never felt so weak in her life. She'd failed her child, and now she could barely bring it's body into the world.

She felt like a failure. Jane was so incredibly kind, making her feel comfortable and loved. But she couldn't understand how Jane could even look at her right now.

She looked up from the couch and towards the kitchen and saw Jane looking at her. There was so much sympathy in her eyes that it almost physically hurt Maura to look at her.

"Please, Jane" she whispered and closed her eyes.

"Please what Maura?" Jane was walking back to her friend now.

"Don't- don't look at me"

"What?"

Maura closed her eyes and sat up on the couch, pulling a blanket up over her whole body and face, suddenly embarrassed.

"Jane...this is my rock bottom, okay? And you... you are probably the person I care most about in this world-" she didn't even get a chance to finish

Jane stood right in front of her, leaned down to pull the blanket off her head and cupped her face in her hands.

"Maura..." she brushed the woman's hair aside gently "you...are my family, okay? And family is ALWAYS there for each other. Especially when they've hit rock bottom. And this?" she gestured to Maura "is not rock bottom. This is a test of your strength. This is the worst thing that a mother could endure, and you are handling it with incredible strength. You are strong, Maura. And don't you forget it.

She sat down next to the blonde and held her close.

* * *

Two more hours passed and the contractions had barely begun getting closer together. They laid together on the couch, a documentary on agricultural development that was putting them both to sleep played in the background. Every seven minutes or so Maura would lean into Jane and grip her hand as a contraction washed through her.

"I have to go to the restroom, Jane" Maura said suddenly

"Alright, you need some help getting there?"

"I should be fine, thank you" Maura heaved herself off the couch and began waddling towards to restroom. But before she completely left the living room she turned to Jane,

"Jane, can you do me a favor?"

"Of course, what do you need?"

"Can you... can you take everything and just put it in the nursery for me? I can't... I can't look-" she couldn't finish

Jane stood up and walked over to her, "yea, yea I'll get it" she rubbed the woman's arms as she promised to remove all of the baby paraphernalia from everywhere accept the nursery.

Maura nodded and walked into the bathroom.

Jane picked up the baby name book, sonogram pictures that were framed and the ones on the refrigerator, the babies-r-us magazines strewn everywhere and even the Hot Cheetos (Maura's one and only pregnancy craving). She threw away the snack food and brought everything else into the nursery.

Once a beautiful room that brought joy and anticipation to anyone inside it, was now like a morbid memorial of the baby that would never inhabit it. Jane felt tears forming in her eyes and put everything away as fast as possible, she didn't want to be in there any longer than she had to.

She locked the door behind her when she walked out, and when she got back to the living room Maura was sitting on the couch again.

"I- uh, I'm going to put the key to the nursery in the top drawer in the kitchen, I locked it. I hope that's OK." Jane slid the key in the drawer and walked back over to her friend.

"That's fine, Jane." They sat back on the couch with Jane behind her again massaging her back.

She had gone through two more contractions when Jane suddenly felt something wet

"Maur- do you feel that? Did your-?"

Maura had obviously felt it first, but only by a few seconds.

"Yes...my water broke. We should probably go to the hospital now"

**Review, review, review :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Jane helped Maura out to the car and into the passenger seat. When she closed the door behind her friend she saw her mother standing outside of the guest house watering plants.

They looked at each other with mutual understanding of the situation. Jane gave her the best smile she could muster, and Angela blew her a kiss.

They drove to the hospital in silence. At a red light Maura gasped and quickly grabbed Jane's hand

"What's wrong?" Jane asked looking over at her friend who was obviously in pain.

"Their...just, getting stronger is all" Maura answered through gritted teeth. A tear escaping her tightly closed eyes.

Jane nodded and kissed the back of Maura's hand, "we're almost there Maura, you're doing great"

They pulled into the hospital lot and walked through the emergency room doors.

A bubbly nurse in pink surgical scrubs walked up to them, "Hello there, how can I help you?"

"Uh, we need a room. A maternity room or something." Jane answered, not knowing if or how to relay the situation.

"Sure thing, how close are your contractions sweetie?"

"Around 5 minutes, and my water already broke. Dr. Rollins' gave me medication to activate my labor and told me to come back once it had progressed this far" Maura answered, robotically.

The nurse's smile disappeared. She had been advised about this patient and was connecting the dots, now she noticed the sullen face of the mother standing before her.

"Oh, yes I'm sorry sweetheart. We have a room all set up for you, Dr. Rollins' should be here any minute.

"Thank you" Jane answered for her, and moved her to the room the nurse had indicated.

Maura sat down on the bed as soon as they entered, "will you help me get all set up here? They usually send a nurse in to do it, but I don't really want anyone else in here."

"Yea of course" Jane responded. She picked up the hospital gown and helped Maura into it. Maura sat back on the bed once she was dressed and Jane knelt down on the ground in front of her to remove her shoes.

Once Maura was comfortable, she showed Jane how to attach the, as Jane would put it, "sticky thingys", to her chest for the heart monitor.

"What's that?" Jane asked pointing to a small machine on Maura's left. She looked over at it and then back at Jane,

"That is a fetal heart monitor... we won't be needing that."

Jane was about to apologize for asking when Maura threw her head back on the pillow and let out a low groan followed by a pleading whimper.

Jane could feel her heart shatter into a million pieces.

Without giving it a second thought she moved onto the bed and laid down next to Maura, who had scooted over slightly to accommodate her best friend. They were facing each other, foreheads touching, and Jane's hand was rubbing soothing circles on Maura's contracting stomach.

"Thank you" Maura whispered. "I don't know what I would do without you Jane."

"Shhh. You don't need to thank me, just rest now, you need your rest" she soothed

Maura got about one minute of sleep in between each contraction, until finally they heard a knock on the door. They looked up just in time to see Dr. Rollins walk inside.

"Hey you two, how are you feeling Maura?" She asked softly walking over to Maura's bedside and placing a hand on her shoulder

"Is that a trick question?" Maura answered

The doctor gave her a sad smile, and Maura added

"My contractions are around four minutes apart, and my water broke thirty minutes ago"

"Okay, I'm gonna check you to see how far you're dilated alright?"

"I'm uh, just going to wait outside for a minute" Jane said uncomfortably, but when she started getting off the bed Maura grabbed her arm tighter

"Don't leave me" she whispered, embarrassed by the weakness in her own voice.

Jane didn't need to hear it twice. She sat back down on the bed and grabbed her best friends hand "I'm not going anywhere, promise"

The doctor did her exam and concluded that Maura was six centimeters. She still and a few hours to go.

Jane stayed on Maura's bed with her the whole time, only ever getting up when Maura needed water or ice chips.

By the time the doctor came back in an hour later, Jane had resumed her earlier position straddled behind Maura and was holding both of her hands as a contraction enveloped her.

She was biting her bottom lip and squeezing Jane's hands so hard her whole body shook.

"Oh boy, that looked like a big one. How are you holding up sweetie?" Jessica asked

"I think. I'll be ready. To push. Soon." Maura answered through labored breaths, flopping back against Jane as the pain ended.

Jane kissed her temple and wiped the sweat matted hair from her face.

The doctor checked under the gown draped over Maura's legs and announced, "eight centimeters. Still got some time"

"Eight?! That's it!?" Maura squeaked. Her lip began quivering and Jane could tell she was about to lose it. Again.

She silently gestured to the doctor to give them some space, and just as she walked out Maura broke down.

"I DIDN'T WANT THIS!" she screamed as loud as her body would let her "I didn't want any of this! This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life! There was supposed to be music playing! And everyone would be here! And I WOULD HAVE MY BABY!"

Her body began shaking violently and she held onto Jane for dear life. Tears flowed uncontrollably down her face and she felt like her chest was being tightly constricted with the physical pain of losing her child.

"I just wanted this to be perfect" She hiccuped. "I wanted to know, that after all of this pain there would at least be a light at the end of the tunnel. N-now the tunnel doesn't end. It gets even darker-"

She unwillingly bore down again as another contraction started. Jane held her tighter and tried to console her

"It'll get better Maura, I promise. This tunnel will end... What music would you have had playing?" She suddenly asked out of the blue.

Maura turned her head to face her, and Jane gave her a sincere smile "Yo-Yo Ma?"

Maura nodded, and Jane whipped out her phone and clicked on the pre-programmed music that Maura had put on Jane's phone a year ago.

She set her phone on the nightstand by the bed and the beautiful sounds of a cello and piano playing in perfect harmony filled the room.

Maura took a deep breath, the music physically relaxing her.

"Alright the next contraction is gonna start in a few seconds, you ready?" Jane asked

"I- actually I feel like I need to push Jane. Hit the nurse button please."

Jane reached for the button at lightning speed and within seconds Dr. Rollins and a maternity nurse rushed in

"I need to push!" Maura shouted feeling the contraction begin

The doctor took another look at Maura's cervix and nodded "Yep, it's time to push. You ready?"

After that, everything seemed to be going in slow motion.

Jane reached forward and wrapped her elbow around Maura's thigh, making it easier for her to push.

Her other hand was still in Maura's, and she didn't plan on letting go anytime soon.

The doctor told her push as the next contraction hit and Maura let out a sound that Jane had never heard another human make, let alone her best friend.

It was a low growl that sent shivers up Jane's spine. It was the sound of feeling more than one kind of pain happening at the same time.

The blonde cried and screamed for what felt like a lifetime. Finally the doctor told her to take a break, until the next contraction.

Jane wiped the sweat from her brow and pulled the clip out of her own hair, letting it fall to her shoulders, and used it to pin back Maura's.

"Thank you" she breathed, her eyes still closed.

"Alright here comes another one, you ready Maura?" Jessica asked from between Maura's legs

Maura leaned forward again and pushed with all her might. Her teeth were clenched and her body quivered with the effort.

She pushed until the contraction ended, and Rollins told her to stop.

She fell back against her friend and cried.

After what felt like a split-second she was told to start pushing again,

"I can't!" she sobbed "I-I can't do it anymore!" she put a hand over her mouth to extinguish her cries but it did little good.

"You can Maur, you can do this I know you can!" Jane encouraged. "You are so strong Maura, and I know you are strong enough to do this. Come on, do this for your baby. Do it...do it for Boston's finest firefighter."

Maura looked at her and cried harder.

Jane had reminded her how real this all was.

Even though her baby was dead, she still owed to her child to bring him or her into the world. Loved.

With the last drop of effort she could produce, she grabbed onto the sides of the hospital bed, threw her body forward, and pushed.

"Good! that's it Maura! Almost out." Jessica told her.

Finally, Maura felt the tiny body exit her own. The classical piece erupting from Jane's phone ended at the same moment.

And the loudest silence she had ever heard filled the room.

**Tell me what you think! Oh and if you want to hear the "Yo-Yo Ma" song go to YouTube and type in: "[Yo-Yo Ma plays Ennio Morricone] Gabriel's Oboe and The Falls"**

**Sorry I tried to attach the link but couldn't :/**

**I'm a sucker for classical music.**

**Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone, I know I warned you all of the sensitive subject matter in the summary but I feel like I should do it again. Especially since this is the chapter where they meet the baby. Please be advised.**

Maura let her body relax against Jane, but didn't take her eyes off what was in the doctors hands.

Her eyes grew wide as she stared at the tiny baby cradled in her arms

"Would...you like to hold her?" Jessica inquired quietly

It took Maura a long time to answer, but finally said in a timid voice

"Her?"

"Yes, it's a girl"

Maura glanced quickly behind her to look at Jane. The detective had a hand covering her mouth and was staring in reverence at the child before them. She tore her eyes away for a second to meet Maura's questioning gaze.

Maura was silently asking Jane with her eyes if she thought she should hold the baby.

Jane gave her a single nod.

She turned back to the doctor and stretched out her arms.

Dr. Rollins stood and placed the tiny body in the mothers welcoming embrace.

Maura accepted the baby and brought her close to her chest.

"I'm so sorry baby" she choked out, wrapping her arms tighter around the swaddled infant.

She rocked her back and forth holding her tight against her, crying and endlessly apologizing to her baby girl.

Jane just sat and watched the scene unravel before her. Never had she felt so much sadness all at once.

She finally just put her arms around the bawling mother and held her, as she held her dead child.

Maura placed delicate kisses all over the baby and said "I love you" in between each one.

Jane looked down at the body in her best friends arms.

Her eyes were closed, and she was pale.

But what caught the detectives eye the most was how much she looked like Maura.

They had the exact same curved nose, delicate lips and rounded face.

It hit Jane like a bulldozer.

She started crying too as the reality of it all set in. She loved this woman (whether it was platonic or not she wasn't sure yet), and she was currently in the most pain she would ever be in. And it hurt her that much more.

She watched as the helpless mother she embraced cried for forgiveness to her child over something she couldn't control. She couldn't control what was happening to her, to her baby.

The universe had stepped in and turned her world upside-down.

And there was nothing she could do about it.

She wrapped her arms around the woman tighter

"Maura..." Jane whispered in her ear "...she would have been Boston's finest."

* * *

Jane walked into Maura's room and saw her sitting on the opposite end of the bed, facing the wall.

She wore a plain black dress and short black heels.

Today was the day of the funeral.

It wasn't going to be a big ceremony, just close friends. Maura's parents weren't even coming. They hadn't even known she was pregnant.

She hadn't gotten the chance to tell them.

The only people attending were Jane, Angela, Frankie, Tommy, Frost, and Korsak.

She didn't want this to be a big event, but she felt she owed it to her little girl to at least have her presence in the world recognized.

Jane stood in the doorway of the room for a long time, the image of her friend breaking her heart.

Ever since they got back from the hospital two days ago, Maura hadn't spoken at all.

She just laid in her bed facing the wall.

She didn't even cry anymore. It was like all of her tears had been used up and she couldn't produce any more.

Sometimes Jane would come up and cuddle close to her, and Maura accepted her willingly.

But she never said a word.

She was practically catatonic. Until today.

Jane walked up to the bed and sat down next to her. She had helped the woman into her dress but left her to do her face and hair on her own.

She had just put her blonde tresses in a loose ponytail, no make-up.

Jane put a hand on her knee and their eyes met.

"We should get going" Jane told her quietly with a sympathetic smile on her face.

Maura nodded once and Jane stood up, taking Maura's hand and helping her up too.

They walked downstairs and out to the car waiting for them.

Korsak drove and Barry sat in the passenger seat. The car behind them held the other three Rizzoli's.

They pulled up to the cemetery and exited the car. As they walked up to the grave sight, Maura caught sight of the chairs, the flowers, the headstone... and the tiny coffin sitting on a lowering device above a hole in the ground.

Suddenly she felt as though her legs were going to give way and grabbed Jane's arm for support.

Jane turned to face her friend who had abruptly taken hold of her forearm. Maura's eye's were glassy with tears again, and Jane followed her gaze to the infant-sized casket.

Jane let Maura wrap her arm tighter around her own, and let her lean against her for support. They slowly walked up to the white chairs and sat down.

Since there were only six people attending, the chairs were placed neatly in a single row.

Maura sat in the far right closest to the coffin, then Jane, Angela, Tommy, Frankie, Korsak, and Frost on the far end.

Jane and Maura's arms remained linked as the minister began the service.

He spoke about life and death, and the connection between the two.

How every individual life was so fragile that it could be taken away before it really even began.

Everyone was moved by his words. But Maura hadn't heard a single one.

She kept her eyes glued to little casket in front of her.

It was made from chestnut, twelve inches in length and seven in width.

Despite her career... this was still the smallest casket she had ever seen.

A bouquet of white and yellow daisies sat atop it. Standing next to it was a wreath made of the same flowers.

Jane had picked them out, she knew daisies were Maura's favorite.

She looked past it and read the words engraved into the headstone.

"Baby Girl Isles. October 13th 2012"

One date. Both a birth date and a death date.

She hadn't even been able to put a name on it. She had never really decided on one. The night she found out about the baby was the the first time she had even opened the baby name book.

She must have zoned out for longer than she thought, because it felt like only seconds had passed when in fact the service was almost over.

The guests were standing and each taking their turn placing a flower on the coffin.

Maura went last.

She pulled a white daisy from the wreath and stood in front of her child.

With a trembling hand she lightly placed the flower and held her hand against the wood for a few extra seconds.

Feeling an onslaught of tears building she quickly stood back as the minister pushed the lever that would lower the coffin into the grave.

The six adults watched in silence as the tiny body began to descend.

Maura's shoulders began to shake but no sound escaped her lips. She was fighting off her tears with every fiber of her being.

The rest of the party noticed the change and began walking back to the cars. Every one except Jane, of course.

The two women stood in silence until they finally heard the machine stop.

A second passed and no one did anything. The minister walked away out of respect and Jane and Maura stood side-by-side in front of the grave that now held Maura's child.

Maura's legs finally gave out and her knees hit the grass with a thud. Her head bowed she cried convulsively, both hands clawing her heart as if trying to rip it out of her chest to relieve her from the pain that was engulfing her entirely.

Jane lowered herself next to her still facing forward, and listened to her cry.

**Tell me what you think. Your opinions mean the world to me. How's everyone holding up?**


	9. Chapter 9

"Are you hungry? You want me to order pizza or something?" Jane asked Maura as the two women walked through the front door of the M.E.'s house.

Maura shook her head in the negative.

"Alright, you want to watch a movie?" Jane pushed. Trying to interact with Maura was like trying to raise the dead.

Jane shuddered at the inappropriateness of her own analogy.

Maura shook her head again and muttered almost inaudibly, "I think I'm just going to take a shower." She was already removing her black heels when she added quietly "can you unzip me, Jane?"

Jane walked over to her friend, gently moved her honey-blonde locks aside, and slowly pulled down the zipper.

"Thank you" she whispered and began walking towards the master bed and bath.

Jane suddenly remembered she was out of clean clothes. She really hated leaving Maura alone like this, but she would have to go get them eventually and she could be back before Maura got out of the shower.

She walked up to the closed bedroom door and spoke loudly through it,

"Hey Maur, I'm gonna run home really quick and grab some clothes. I'll be back in like 20 minutes, okay?"

At first she didn't hear anything and was about to open the door when she heard a faint, "alright" come from the other side.

Jane rushed downstairs grabbed her keys and left. She didn't want to be gone any longer than she had to.

Maura stood in front of the full length mirror staring at her naked reflection.

Her hair looked faded, and there were dark circles under her red-rimmed eyes.

Her breasts had gotten larger as a result of pregnancy, but now served as grim reminders of their unfulfilled purpose.

Her stomach was still slightly distended, and she had a handful of stretch marks scattered between her pelvis and abdomen.

_"Those will never go away" _she thought to herself.

Lastly she looked at her hips. Not one week ago she was complaining about how big they had gotten, now she'd do anything to see them at their full intended size.

She tore her eyes away from her reflection in disgust, unable to bear looking at the weak, lost woman she had become.

She walked over to the shower and turned the "Hot" knob on full blast.

Scorching water surged through the shower head as she stepped into it. She stood stationary for a moment and let the water burn her body, then slowly leaned against the shower wall and slid down to the floor, where she sat in a fetal position with both hands clamped tight over her mouth in an attempt to silence her emotional break down.

"Shit, come on" Jane mumbled to herself as she sat at the longest red light in history, or what felt like it anyway. She had taken a little longer than intended, between getting her clothes, cleaning up the shredded roll of toilet paper Jo Friday had left for her in the kitchen, the stupid amount of traffic on the interstate, and this ridiculously long red light, it had taken Jane almost 40 minutes to reach Maura's neighborhood.

When she finally pulled into the driveway she was in such a rush to get inside that she didn't even bother to lock her car.

"Hello?" she called once she'd opened the door. "Maura? You in bed?"

No response.

She walked upstairs and into the bedroom and heard the water running in the bathroom

"She's still in the shower?" She muttered to herself. She glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand and realized Maura had been in the shower for nearly 45 minutes.

The detective walked up to the bathroom door and placed her ear against it. She heard a muffled sound and it didn't take her long to guess what it was.

"Maura? You OK? You've been in there for a really long time."

She heard Maura sniffle in an attempt to compose herself before she replied, "I'm fine."

"Like hell you are" Jane said as she opened the door.

Through the glass-walled shower Jane could see Maura's figure sitting on the floor against the wall with her knees hugging her chest, the steam coming from the scalding water had left a fog over the glass, making it hard to see the woman's face, although it was obvious she had been crying.

"Maura..." Jane said with compassion in her voice.

"I...said I-I'm f-fine" Maura tried to say, but was overcome with tears again. She lowered her head onto her knees and her body began to shake.

Without giving it a second thought Jane opened the shower door, sat on the shower floor behind Maura, and wrapped her arms around her.

Maura turned to her side and placed her head on Jane's shoulder, gripping tightly to her arm as she sobbed. "I want th-this to be over, I d-don't want to f-feel like this anymore!"

"Maura," the brunette began, "you have to stop pretending that you're OK. You have to let yourself grieve or you're gonna go nuts."

Jane was rubbing soothing circles on her back and pushing wet hair out of her face.

"I-I don't know how to d-deal with this J-Jane" Maura blubbered, unable to make complete words.

"There's no handbook on how to handle the loss of a child, Maur. You just have to let yourself feel it" She lifted the doctors head so that their eyes met, "and you have to let people help you when you need it."

Maura looked into Jane's eyes for a long time. Then slowly lifted her hand and placed it on her cheek, and began moving forward.

At any other time, Jane would have welcomed Maura's impending kiss with enthusiasm. But this was different, this wasn't right. Maura was in pain and was deflecting her emotions the wrong way.

Jane put a hand over the one on her cheek and shook her head, "no, not like this" she stated simply. It had been obvious over the years that the two of them had a silent attraction to each other, but neither of them dared act on it.

Maura looked hurt and Jane scrambled to fix the mistake she must have made.

"No, no it's not that I don't want to! Believe me, Maura, it is NOT because I don't want to. But this is the wrong time, and you are feeling a lot of things right now, and I don't want you to feel like you made a mistake. Come on lets get out of here."

Maura said nothing as Jane lifted them both to their feet and turned off the water. She wrapped Maura in a towel and walked into the bedroom to change out of her now soaked clothes. When she finished, Maura stepped out of the bathroom with her pajamas on and climbed into the bed.

Jane wasn't sure if Maura would want her to sleep in here tonight, especially after what just happened. She began walking towards the door to exit the room when she heard a timid voice

"Where are you going?" Jane turned around and saw a confused Maura looking back at her.

"Well...I didn't know if you wanted...you know, I thought-" Maura just shook her head and patted the side of the bed adjacent to her.

Jane gave her a weak smile and flicked off the light before climbing in next to her.

She turned to her side, her back facing Maura and tried to fall asleep.

A few silent minutes went by when she felt Maura curl up against her back and whisper, "Jane...it would never have been a mistake."

**How's everybody doing?**


	10. Chapter 10

A week had gone by and Jane and Maura had fallen into a quiet ritual. Neither one went to work, so they spent nearly all day together. In the mornings Jane would always get up before Maura and would make breakfast for them both. Usually by the time Jane was done Maura was awake and Jane would spend the next half hour or so trying to convince Maura to eat something.

She usually could only get her to eat a couple bites before Maura would either go back to bed or lay down on the couch.

Jane would spend the rest of the day tending to Maura's needs. She tried to get her to go with her on Jo's evening walks, but Maura always declined.

At night Jane would sleep in Maura's bed and hold her while she cried.

She cried every night, only at night when Jane was there to comfort her.

Despite Jane's efforts to explain to her that her grief was normal, healthy even, and that Maura knew all this, she still hid her sadness. As if she was embarrassed that she cried herself to sleep every night.

And she was.

* * *

On Thursday evening, Jane walked into the house with so many grocery bags in her arms that you couldn't see her face. Maura was laying on the couch as she watched Jane try to maneuver herself blindly into the kitchen.

One bag began slipping off of the pile and Jane quickly stuck out her foot as it slid down and the handle wrapped itself around her ankle.

She was unaware that Maura was watching her until she suddenly heard a soft giggle coming from the direction of the living room.

As soon as she heard it she lost her grip on all the bags and they came tumbling down around her, eliciting another chuckle from Maura.

Jane stared at her with wide eyes and a small smile forming on the edge of her mouth

"God, it's good to hear you laugh again" Jane said as she bent down to pick up the apples and bread loaves scattered all over the floor.

Maura slowly stood up and went to help Jane lift the groceries onto the kitchen counter.

"It _feels_ good to laugh again" Maura said once they were both facing each other again.

To Jane, this was a big step. Maybe Maura was beginning to accept her loss and move on.

Maura felt that this could be the beginning of her healing process as well, but it was too easy fall back into the depression. All she had to do was think about her baby, or walk past the practically quarantined nursery, and the memories would come flooding back.

As much as she wanted her mourning to end, she knew it would take a lot more time.

But little progress was better than no progress.

They began to put the groceries away when Maura's phone started ringing. She walked over to the couch where she had left it looked at the caller I.d. name with shock before answering it.

"Mother. How are you?" She said, trying to sound as cheery as possible. Her mother didn't know about the baby, and Maura didn't plan on telling her anymore.

Jane watched as Maura listened to her mother speak on the other end of the line. But when Maura's eyes went wide in panic Jane stood up so fast she almost knocked over her chair in an effort to get to her friend.

"O-ok, I guess I'll see you soon then" Maura answered as she looked at Jane.

Now Jane began to panic.

Maura hung up and looked up at Jane.

"What am I going to do? She is flying in tomorrow morning! I never told her about..." she paused and took a deep breath. "I was going to tell them both after she...had arrived, but I knew they wouldn't be happy"

"Why wouldn't your parents be happy for you?" Jane asked

"Because I'm not married. It's not a religious factor, but single-parenthood is highly frowned upon in their circles. Especially since I chose to be a single parent." Maura's voice had grown quiet again.

Jane was angry now. Maura had just begun making progress since the biggest tragedy of her life had happened. Literally, she had JUST begun healing. And within seconds she was spiraling back into her state of anguish because of her disapproving mother.

"Maura" Jane began, taking one of the woman's hands in her own "don't let your mother be the reason you can't move on. I know it's hard, but this is your life and you can live it however you chose."

Maura paused for a moment, "You're right, Jane" she finally stated. "I don't think I'm going to tell her though. There is nothing to tell anyway."

Jane nodded and gave her hand a gentle squeeze "You don't have to tell her anything you don't want to. Do you want me to be here when she comes?"

"No, it's alright. If you're here she will most likely notice how much I depend on you and will begin accusing me of homosexuality."

Jane gave a hearty chuckle "alright, but you can call me if you need me okay? And I'll get my Ma to come stay with me for the day."

Maura nodded and agreed and they began to plan out a meal for Constance. the next day.

* * *

The next day, Jane and Angela left the house right after breakfast to ensure that they wouldn't accidentally run into Constance Isles.

Maura had prepared a filet minion dish for dinner that was marinating in the fridge, and she carefully selected out an outfit that was both appropriate and would successfully hide her still vaguely expanded stomach.

The sound of a car crunching along the gravel in front of the house signaled her mothers arrival.

She stood up straight, took one last look around her house to ensure she had cleaned it thoroughly, and went to open the front door

"Maura, darling!" Her mother beamed and leaned forward to kiss each of her daughter's cheeks.

"Mother, I'm so glad to see you." Maura responded

"As am I darling, I can only stay for a few days but I wanted to see you so badly. How have you been? Tell me everything! Oh..." Constance looked Maura up and down quickly "you've put on some weight dear, are you exercising still?"

Bombarded with questions Maura just closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, and answered "I've been well, nothing too exciting has been going on, and yes I have been exercising but I had a cold earlier this week and didn't get out for my runs as much as I would have liked to."

Maura regretted lying the moment the words came out of her mouth. She could feel her hives coming on and quickly said, "Will you excuse me for a moment? I need to use the restroom. Make yourself comfortable." Maura rushed to her bedroom and into the bathroom to begin applying ointment to her ever-expanding rash.

Constance sat down on the couch and waited, but after a few minutes got impatient.

She moved to the kitchen and went to retrieve a glass of wine, and began rummaging trough the kitchen drawers in search of a bottle opener.

Instead, when she opened a third drawer experimentally she found a key. She picked it up and examined it.

Finding no further interest she placed it back in the drawer and instead poured herself a glass of water.

She paced through the kitchen and finally down the hall.

She leaned into Maura's bedroom door and shouted,

"Is everything alright dear?" curious as to what was taking her so long.

"Fine, mother! Just...powdering my face!"

More hives. _"Dammit" _Maura whispered to herself. "I'll be just a minute!" She shouted again

Constance accepted the answer and continued wandering through the house.

She came up to a door at the end of the hall and tried to open it. Locked.

Her mind flashed back to the key in the kitchen drawer and suddenly wanted very much to know what her daughter was hiding in this room.

_"Maybe she had taken up painting and converted this into a studio. Maybe it's a gift for me meant to be a surprise!" _Constance thought to herself, selfishly.

She hurried back to the kitchen and retrieved the key.

Slowly she placed it into the lock and turned it until she heard it click.

She opened the door just as Maura stepped out of her bedroom.

"Mother?" she called, but stopped dead in her tracks.

At the end of the hall she could see her mother standing still as a statue in the open doorway of the nursery...

**Cliffhanger!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys, so this one it rather short, but you know me I update fast (usually) anyways enjoy and also know that reviews help the writing process and updates can happen even faster! *hint, hint***

Maura was frozen where she stood.

How had mother opened the door? It was locked!

She must have snooped (as usual) and found the key.

Slowly she began walking towards her mother, who still stood motionless in the doorway.

"Mother" Maura said again quietly

Constance whipped her head around to face her daughter, shock and confusion written all over her face.

"Maura! You aren't pregnant are you?" She asked as she strode quickly towards her daughter, stopping abruptly right in front of her.

"No, mother I'm not... not anymore." There was no avoiding it now, and Maura was barely keeping it together as it was. There was no use in hiding it any longer.

"Not anymore? Maura you need to start explaining, immediately!"

"Why- why don't we sit down, I'll explain everything but just please, try to understand-"

"IMMEDIATELY!"

"Mom! please! Just listen, OK?" Maura was on the verge of another breakdown, and her mother was about to push her over the edge.

Constance stormed back into the living room and sat down on the couch, Maura followed and sat next to her.

"I was pregnant, by choice" Maura clarified, "I decided to have a baby, and I used doner sperm. I was...I was a little over t-twenty weeks along and I..." she stopped, unable to finish. Her emotions overwhelming her.

Constance, being the cold, unattached woman she was, gave no effort to comfort her obviously grieving child. Instead she stared at her, confusion and disapproval radiating off her like steam.

After Maura took a moment to gather herself she finished, "She was stillborn, mother. The baby died."

She hadn't expected her mother to be proud, or even happy.

But most certainly didn't expect her to be relieved.

"Well, thank goodness for that." Constance exhaled and leaned back on to the couch as the panic in her subsided.

Maura just stared at her, mouth open, unsure if she had heard correctly. "E-excuse me?" She breathed out almost in a whisper.

"Darling, that child would have been the end of your fathers and my social reputation, not to mention yours. You made an extremely poor decision to willingly have an illegitimate child, It's a good thing you didn't bring it to term. I for one am relieved."

Maura couldn't believe what she was hearing, she stared at her mother unable to form a response.

"Sweet heart you should be relieved too. Can you imagine what the would have happened to the Isles Foundation had the press got word of this?"

Maura's brief stupor of disbelief began to fade, but was quickly being replaced with searing anger that was building like molten lava about to erupt.

"Get out of my house." She said in a flat, emotionless voice.

Constance had the audacity to look offended, "I beg your pardon?"

That was it. Maura had officially snapped.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" She roared, standing quickly and pointing to the door.

Her mother stood now too, reflecting the anger that was pouring out of Maura. "I will not be spoken to that way! You are clearly hysterical and I don't think you realize just who you're talking to! For once in your life take responsibility for your bad actions, you freely decided to have a bastard child that you couldn't even bring to term! You have no one to blame but yourself for the death of your child!"

Maura was shaking with anger, her teeth ground together and she her fists were clenched so tight her knuckles were white. Burning tears streamed down her face as she took a step forward, purposefully invading her mothers personal space.

"Listen closely mother, because I will only say this once. You are no longer welcome in my home. You clearly have no regard for proper parenting, or even proper human decency! I am your child, so I know EXACTLY who I am talking to when I say that I cared and loved for my unborn child for the 20 weeks I carried her, than you ever did for me in my entire life! You are a cold, heartless woman who refers to her own granddaughter as a bastard, and an 'it'! Now leave, before I call Jane and have herself, and Detective's Korsak and Frost come and physically remove you. Because they are more my family than you are."

Constance stood motionless for a moment, then slowly walked towards the door, trying to compose the little dignity she had left. She opened the door, but just before she walked out she turned back to Maura.

"I expected more from you Maura, you have truly disappointed me." And with that she left.

As soon as the door closed behind her Maura dropped to the floor.

With the heels of her palms pressed over her eyes, and her legs tucked into her chest, she cried into her knees.

As much as she didn't want to believe it, she couldn't help but hear her mothers words ring out in her head.

_"...a bastard child that you couldn't even bring to term!"_

Couldn't even bring it to term.

The words repeated themselves in Maura's head like a broken record.

Suddenly, in a depression and guilt filled trance, Maura stood up and walked to the kitchen. She pulled an ancient bottle of whiskey from her top shelf, then walked into the nursery and took the sonogram picture off the rocking chair. She looked at it momentarily, but had to tear her eyes away. The pain had become too much. She walked back into her bedroom and took Jane's service revolver out of the nightstand where she kept it, and walked into the bathroom slamming the door shut behind her.

**review :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**I know that was a rough cliffhanger, sorry about that. Please accept this chapter as a token of my appreciation for being such great followers, and as an apology for the cliffhanger. Happy reading ;) review!**

"Maura!" Jane yelled as she walked through the front door, "Are you here?"

Maura had promised to send her a text if all was going well with Constance, it had been several hours and Jane had texted her repeatedly asking how everything was going. When Maura never answered she got concerned and drove back to her house. Angela had opted to stay at Jane's tonight. When she pulled up to the house she saw that Maura's mother's car was gone, and since she was supposed to stay all night, something must have gone wrong.

Jane put her keys on the coffee table and tossed her jacket on the couch before ascending the stairs in search of Maura.

When she reached the hallway she noticed that the door to the nursery was ajar.

"Oh no..." Jane muttered to herself, and walked straight into Maura's room.

It was empty, but she could see light peeking out from under the door to the bathroom and the faint sound of a sniffling nose.

She put her mouth as close to the door as possible.

"Maura? are you in there?" She called through it.

Maura didn't respond, but Jane heard more sniffles.

She tested the doorknob and found it unlocked.

"Can I come in Maur?"

"Suuure" Maura slurred.

Jane opened the door and found Maura sitting in the empty claw-foot bathtub, fully clothed, with an almost empty bottle of whiskey in her lap as she held the ultrasound picture and caressed the image with a finger.

But what really made Jane stop cold was her spare gun sitting on the counter, within Maura's very near reach.

"Maura..." Jane began, with wide eyes glued to the revolver. "What the hell-"

"You're very lucky Jane..." Maura interrupted, obviously inebriated. "You live a very daaangerous life, and yet you're not dead. It's strange. And lucky!"

"Maura what are you doing, why do you have my gun in here?" Jane stepped further into the bathroom. Ignoring the odd comment about her profession

"Oh. I almost forgot about that." She turned to the counter and picked up the gun carelessly with one hand.

"Woah, give me that!" Jane said reaching for it, but Maura jerked away.

"No, Jane. I'm using it for sci..science-ific research"

"Come on, this isn't funny Maur, gimme the gun." She reached again and Maura looked up at her with red eyes, suddenly very serious.

"No...It isn't funny. It's actually not funny at all. I had a child, a dead child. And it's aaall my fault._ 'I raised you better than that Maura! You couldn't even bring it to term!'"_ she shouted with a nasaly voice in a snide imitation of her mother.

"Did she say that?!" Jane bellowed, her eyes almost bugging out of her head.

"Oh, you should have seen it Jane. She was _incredibly _proud of me." Sarcasm that she rarely used dripped from her voice as she picked up the bottle and took an alarmingly large swig, practically finishing it off.

"Okay, let's stop with that now huh?" Jane said snatching the bottle away and sitting down on the floor next to the tub.

"It's a little late for that" Maura was giggling now, "It's all gone! And I've had that bottle since last Christmas, hadn't taken a sip!"

"Well than you should expect an awesome headache tomorrow" Jane commented.

"I don't care. I probably won't feel it anyway. I don't feel anything anymore." She wasn't laughing anymore, and her emotions were starting to give Jane whiplash. "It's funny, how delicate everything is, if you really think about it" Maura began examining the gun in her hands, turning it over and running her finger softly along the barrel.

"Yea, I guess you could say that" Jane said, playing along.

"Like a gun, for instance. In less than -hic- a second, it can end a life. It takes days of feeertilizing and months of incubatiiing. I mean, I got lucky! I got -hic- knocked up on the first try! But apparently whatever higher power there is certainly has an awful -hic- sense of humor."

In this one statement, Jane could tell just _how_ drunk Maura was. She was drawing out her words unnecessarily, she used the term "knocked up", and she was talking about a higher power. Maura was a scientist, she didn't believe in a higher power.

Not to mention she was hiccuping throughout her entire speech.

"And that's just to make a baby, Jane!" She continued, "eighteen years of childhood that is just SO easy to screw up. And then adulthood, choosing -hic- a career, making a family. It's all sooo delicate. I mean," she lifted the gun up to her temple "all it takes is one twitch of a finger -hic-," Jane flinches so hard that she nearly drops the bottle she confiscated. "And a whole life is gone. All that...just gone."

The detective was very still, she wasn't sure just how serious Maura was being but was certainly not going to take any chances. If she lost Maura...she didn't even want to think about it.

"You're right Maura. Life is delicate, that's why we can't take it for granted." She considered grabbing the gun, but decided against it. Maura's finger was sitting on the trigger.

Maura sat motionless, staring with glossy eyes at the wall, the gun still sitting against her head. She stayed silent and absorbed Jane's words.

"What happened with your mother, Maura?" Jane asked softly in an effort to possibly distract Maura for just long enough to take the gun.

"She...she showed up and, uh...she went snooping around the house. She found the key, Jane." Maura's hand went limp for a moment and Jane took her chance.

She reached her arm forward fast as lightning and snatched the gun out of her hand before Maura even had time to flinch.

It was effective in disarming her, but as soon as the gun was out of Maura's hand her bottom lip began to quiver and she bit down on it in an attempt to force back a sob.

"Aw, Maur" Jane said compassionately after unloading the gun and sliding it across the floor to the far end of the room. She stepped into the other side of the tub, facing her friend, and pulled her into a hug.

Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's neck and clung on desperately.

"She- she said t-that" Maura stuttered, and Jane rubbed her back comfortingly. "She said that my b-baby was a bastard and...and t-that I'm the reason she's d-dead! That I'm a d-disappointment and t-that it was a r-relief that she was n-never born because it would t-taint her p-precious social st-status!"

She was sobbing uncontrollably now. Jane could feel her hot tears against her neck, and the anger for Constance Isles that rose inside her caused her jaw to tighten and her eyes to burn with white hot momentarily.

"I'm the reason she's d-dead." Maura repeated to herself.

"Maura, listen to ME okay? You are not the reason she is dead, she was not a bastard, and you most certainly aren't a disappointment What you are, is a brave and strong woman who wanted a child and was determined to get one. You are courageous, and capable, and what happened...was devastating. But you can get through it, if anyone can get through something like this it's you." Jane's husky voice cracked as she spoke and a single tear escaped.

"I'm weak, Jane. I'm n-not strong the way that you are. I don't th-think I can handle this alone" Maura whispered.

"You're not weak, and you aren't alone either." She pulled apart to look at her, "you have me, and you always will."

Her sobs subsided and Maura stared into her warm brown eyes, suddenly feeling something entirely different. She felt the unwavering truth in Jane's words, she would never leave her. This woman was her rock, and it suddenly came to her realization that she couldn't live without her.

"Jane, do you love me?"

Jane was startled by the random question and it took a minute for her to answer. "Well, ya of course I love you. You're my best frien-"

"That's not what I meant and you know it"

"I..." she sighed and looked down. "I don't know" she answered honestly, "Do you love me?"

"Yes, I believe I do" Maura responded confidently.

"Really?!" Genuinely shocked, her head shot back up to meet sparkling hazel eyes that she briefly got lost in.

"Yes, really. You are the most stubborn, yet kind, and selfless person I know. You are the only person who has ever been able to physically make me feel safe and loved just with words." Dry tears stuck to Maura's face as she spoke, and she looked down at her hands, feeling incredibly vulnerable.

"Maura, are you sure that...it's not just your grief talking? I mean you lost a baby not even a month ago."

"You don't believe that I could love you?" Maura asked, her head snapping back up to meet the detectives questioning gaze.

"No, well... I don't know. I mean if we're being honest, you're out of my league Maura. You are beautiful, and smart, and wealthy, and you have so much going for you. And you could do so much better than me.

Now Maura felt like she needed to do the comforting. She cupped Jane's jaw with her hand and stroked her cheekbone with a thumb. "Jane, you are incredibly beautiful, and extremely smart, and money is irrelevant. You are sweet, and honest, and your protectiveness over others makes you desireable by anyone's standards. Man or woman.  
I have always thought this way about you, even before- ...even before. But like you said, we can't take life for granted, and I don't intend on wasting anymore time."

Jane could feel her heart swell. This whole conversation was completely out of the blue, but there was no doubt in her mind now that she loved this woman, although there were still things to factor into this situation.

"I believe you," Jane said as she took the doctor's hands in her own, "but if we started this now, I would feel like I was taking advantage of you. You still need time to heal, Maura. Not to mention you are ridiculously drunk right now and may not remember this in the morning. Now lets get out of this tub and go to bed."

She wrapped an arm under Maura's legs and the other around her back as she lifted her out of the tub

Maura rested her head on Jane shoulder as she walked to the bed and gently laid her down onto it, then moved to the other side to get in with her.

"Jane"

"Yes?"

"You were right about the drunkenness, but I guarantee I won't forget this in the morning"

Jane gave a light laugh, "we'll see about that tomorrow, go to sleep."

"...I love you, Jane"

"I love you too Maura"


	13. Chapter 13

A month had gone by since Jane and Maura had exchanged more than platonic 'I love you's', but their physical actions had remained G-rated. Well, maybe PG. They still slept in the same bed and neither were apposed to cuddling.

Jane had gone back to work a week before Maura had, and now both were slowly beginning to regain their lives.

Frankie and Maura were in the morgue, both leaning over a dead body. Frankie pointed to the bullet shaped hole in the corpse's stomach,

"So cause of death is gunshot wound to the abdomen, right?" he asked the M.E.

Maura looked up at him sternly, "I swear, you and Jane are both insufferable. For all we know, this man could have had arsenic for breakfast and then was hit by a bow and arrow to the gut by a Native American. Never jump to conclusions."

"You really think there's an Indian serial killing tribe runnin' around Boston?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"As unlikely as that may be, until we have scientific evidence to prove otherwise, it is still a possibility. When we open him up we'll know for sure."

At that moment, Frost strode in through the double doors.

"Frankie, there's been a body found uptown what are you still doing here? Didn't Jane call you?"

Frankie glanced at his cell phone that had been on silent. He could see that he had one unanswered voice mail from Jane, undoubtedly informing him of the homicide.

"Ah, damn my phone was on silent. I'll head over now." He looked back at Maura who had yet to begin the Y incision on the body. "Maura, you want a lift?"

"That would be wonderful, thank you Frankie." She smiled and snapped off her latex gloves.

* * *

Frankie exited the car first and moved to the passenger side to open the door for Maura. She smiled at him, internally appreciating his gentleman attitude and politeness.

They walked towards the crime scene tape side-by-side, when they see Jane's head turn quickly in their direction, eyes wide.

_"Oh boy, what'd I do now." _Frankie thinks.

Jane makes it to them in six strides, her long legs propelling her forward. "Frankie! what-" she pauses and looks at Maura, then quickly calls for Korsak. He jogs over, eyes as wide as Jane's.

"Uh, hey Dr. Isles why don't you come with me for a minute?" He says, moving her gently in the opposite direction of the body before she can protest.

Jane turns back to Frankie. "What the hell! What, you don't check your messages anymore?!"

"I didn't hear it! Geez, what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that I left you a message telling you to get Pike on this one! Not Maura!" she hisses.

"Why would you want Pike? I thought everyone hated him?"

"Becau-". She stops. She had glanced back to Korsak quickly, but did a double take when she noticed that Maura is not with him anymore. Instead she is walking briskly towards the crime scene as he follows close behind, trying but failing to stop her.

"Shit!" Jane says as she takes off for Maura.

But it was too late.

She was standing over the body, frozen. Jane runs up behind her and puts a hand on her back.

"Come on Maur, you don't have to be here. I can get Pike or someone to cover for you."

Maura looks up at her. She takes a calming breath and shakes her head.

"No, Jane. I'll be fine." She says flatly, and crouches down next to the victim.

The very pregnant victim.

"Looks to be in her mid to early thirties. Large excising wound along the carotid artery, due to the excess amount of blood I would say it was the cause of death, but I'll confirm it when she's on my table. I would say between 25 and 30 weeks gestation." She pauses, and Jane and Frankie exchange careful looks with each other.

"Liver temp indicates time of death was six to seven hours ago." Maura finishes.

"Okay... it looks like a mugging turned murder to me, but we'll find out more later. Frankie, go check the dumpsters over there for a weapon." Jane says to her brother, who has slumped his shoulders and looks at her disdainfully.

"Just go!" she says, punching him in the arm as he turns towards the dumpsters.

Jane looks back at Maura, "you sure you're aright, Maur?"

The M.E. looks back up at her confidently. "Yes, I'm sure. And I refuse to lets this poor woman's murder be poorly justified by Dr. Pike's less than quality forensic work."

Jane gives her a crooked smile, glad to hear a little bit of the old Maura. "Alright, well we've collected just about all the evidence here. I'll get the coroners van to grab the body and I'll meet you back at the Morgue with it. Sound good?"

Maura stands up, "sounds good" she echos, "but I'll be needing a ride back, and I would prefer not to go with Frankie this time seeing as he forgot to wear his jumpsuit before dumpster diving again."

* * *

Maura sits alone in her office, looking over the file of the murdered pregnant woman in the alley. Remembering her findings during her autopsy as she looks at the crime scene photos.

_* "I have concluded that the cause of death was the cut to her throat, likely caused by a large non-serrated knife, similar to this one." She held a photo up to Jane of a the suspected weapon._

_"Okay, that looks like a hunting knife. Easy to buy, I'll have Frost check local hunting stores." _

_"Her death was fortunately very quick, she most likely didn't feel any...physical pain." Maura adds quickly. She can only imagine the nonphysical pain the woman went through as she lie there, bleeding, thinking only of her baby._

_Jane nods and pauses before asking her next question. _

_"Did you uh, take DNA from the...baby? Maybe we can find the dad with a familial match?"._

_Maura turns to her computer and pulls up the already collected and verified DNA. "A familial match shows that the father of the baby is James McHenry. Married to Delilah McHenry," she pulls up a photo of Delilah, no doubt in either of their minds that it the same woman on Maura's slab. "His DNA was in the system for a DUI five years ago."_

_Jane nods and the room in silent for a minute. _

_"Boy." Maura says quietly._

_"What?"_

_"It was a little boy." *_

Maura flips through the rest of the file, stopping when she sees the photo that the victims husband had provided for them upon interrogation. He and his wife were sitting on a couch, one of his hands on her swollen belly and the other on her back providing comfort to an all too familiar ache, reminding her of the way Jane had done the same for her. She lifts the picture to her face and stares with envy at the looks of sheer bliss in the happy couple's eyes.

_* It was early in the morning and she was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, crying silently with her hands over her chest. God...they felt like they were going to explode._

_"Maur?" Jane calls from the other side of the door. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I can go back to work next week."_

_"I'm- I'm fine, Jane. I just...thought it would stop by now..." she answers in a whisper. For a moment she thinks Jane may not have heard her, until she sees the doorknob turn slowly, and a beautiful Italian head pop out from the other side._

_Jane looks at her friend with sympathetic eyes. Despite the embarrassment she feels and the tears on her cheeks she gives the detective a weak smile. Her hands still covering her chest. _

_Jane steps forward and squats down in front of her, placing a hand on her knee. "Still?"_

_Maura drops her hands, and nods as her gaze moves to the floor. Two wet spots the size of golf balls are centered on Maura's breasts, and they seem to be slowly getting larger._

_Maura sniffles back more tears and says with empty hope, "I think it's getting better though. It used to happen whenever I even thought about her, now it's just whenever I cry." She remembers when Jane first took her home from the hospital, and how thinking about the baby caused her to lactate, and then she would cry and it would only get worse. _

_"How's the pain?" Jane asks._

_Maura lets out a deep breath and looks up her,_

_ "Unbearable." *_

Just thinking about it makes them begin to hurt again. She rolls back her chair and places her palms against her breasts. Praying to the god she doesn't believe in that she doesn't start leaking again. She wouldn't be able to handle it after today.

A quick knock on the door brings her out of her daze, and she looks up to see Jane walking in. She didn't realize her hands were still massaging breasts.

For a second, Jane's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. But remembering quickly, her face softens.

She moves to Maura's side of the desk and lifts herself slightly to sit on it, facing her. Maura rolling back a bit farther in her chair to accommodate her.

"You're not still... you know, are you?"

"I-I thought it had stopped, but I guess I was wrong. Certain triggers still...set it off." She answers quietly, not moving her hands, just in case.

"Isn't there something they can give you for that? Or like, pump it out or something?"

Maura smiles a little. Jane was always uncomfortable discussing things like this, but by bringing it up on her own Maura can tell how understanding she is trying to be. And her heart swells a little.

"There used to be medications to reduce lactation, but they were recalled due to side effects. And pumping is not recommended, I don't think I could handle the pain of it anyway" she says honestly. Though the milk had slowed, the tenderness had yet to subside.

Jane felt helpless. It was like a cruel joke that Maura's body was playing on her. Making it so much harder than it already was to move on due to her daily reminders aching with the need to feed a child that didn't exist. In any other situation, Jane would be blushing redder than a tomato at the discussion of Maura's boobs. But this was different, this was sad. She was already in enough pain as it was and this was just adding insult to injury.

Inspiration suddenly struck and Jane pulled out her phone, dialing a number she knew by heart.

"What are you doing?" Maura asked, finally deciding that it was safe to drop her hands and rolling forward towards Jane.

"Gimme one second, okay? I'll be right back." She steps out of the office just as it stops ringing and the other line answers

_"Hey sweetheart." _Her mother says instantly.

"Hey Ma, I um...I need to ask you something..."

Ten minutes pass and Maura has returned to trying to relieve the pain when Jane steps back inside the door, now completely unfazed by her friend massaging herself.

"Who was that?"

"Just needed to ask someone something." She says bluntly. She moves back to her spot on the desk and looks meaningfully into hazel eyes.

"Maur, do you trust me?"

"Of course I do"

"Will you let me help you?"

"What...Ohhh, you mean...help me with this?" Maura gestures to her chest.

Jane nods, not breaking eye contact.

"...yes"

"Then come on, lets go home."

She stands and takes the doctors doctors hand as they walk towards the door.

**Sooooo? What'd ya think? **


	14. Chapter 14

**So this one's pretty fluffy...you're welcome.**

* * *

"What would be more comfortable for you, the couch or the bed?" Jane asks as they walk through the front door of Maura's house.

"I would say the bed" She responds.

"The bed it is. Come on." Jane takes her hand again and leads her into the master bedroom.

"Jane, what are you doing?" Maura finally asks, her curiosity taking over.

Jane sits her down on the bed and then sits cross legged right in front of her.

"You said you trust me, right?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do you trust that I will not judge you, or hurt you. That I want to make you feel better, and be happier?"

Maura's heartbeat sped up.

Jane's words sound vaguely like vows.

Was this it? Was Jane insinuating that she wanted to start their...relationship?

Her throat feeling thick, she nods.

"Okay then. Lie down and take off your shirt."

She hesitates, but remembering what she has just promised, obliges.

Jane walks into the bathroom and she hears her turn on the water. Slowly she unbuttons her blouse and slides it off her shoulders. Folding it neatly before setting it on the nightstand. She sees her stretch marks and realizes that Jane is about to see them too. Quickly she tucks herself under the sheet and pulls it up to just below her naval, where the stretch marks end.

The only thing visible is her upper abdomen and bra. It's a simple black maternity bra, a size and a half larger than shes used to. But pregnancy will do that to you. She feels tears burn in the back of her eyes when she realizes half of the clothing she still wears is maternity clothes.

She takes a shaky breath and wipes away the one tear that had escaped.

"You alright?" Jane asks as she walks back into the bedroom, holding two wet hand towels.

Maura nods again and looks at her with a questioning look, but before she can ask any questions Jane sits next to her and holds her hand, lifting it to her lips and placing a kiss on her knuckles. Her pulse quickens.

"Ready?" She asks.

"For what, Jane?"

"Your breasts are still sore. Correct?" She lifts an eyebrow.

Maura sighs, "immensely".

"Okay, well I found a way that will help." She picks up one of the damp towels and lays it in a rectangle across her friends chest, the slowly slips her hands under Maura's back and unclasps her bra. Sliding it out from under the towel to preserve her modesty. Maura can feel that the towel was soaked in warm water, and her eyes roll back in her head at the feeling of relief that washes over her.

"Oh...Jane" she manages to say, a little out of breath. "That feels amazing."

Jane flashes a dimpled smile, "I'm glad. And this way if you leak it's no big deal, it might even help get it all out. After about 15 minutes we'll switch it to the cold one, and we'll keep rotating them for a couple hours. How's that sound?"

She can't help but notice Jane's continuous use of the word "we", like they're in this together. And they are.

"That sounds perfect..." Suddenly overcome with emotion, she closes her eyes tight and sniffles her nose. "I can't...I can't thank you enough, Jane...you..."

"Hey that's what I'm here for, remember?" She says and lays down next to her friend, facing her. Maura turns her head and looks into chocolate brown eyes that simply captivate her.

"How did you know that this would help?" Maura breathes.

"My mother" Jane answers in a hearty chuckle. "She said she used to do the same thing after Tommy was born. He refused to nurse so I guess she got a little backed up." She shudders a little at the memory of the uncomfortable conversation.

For a moment they just stare at each other. Soaking in each others presence and playing with each others fingers.

Time feels like it has stopped, and the whole rest of the world just ceases to exist. It's just the two of them in this warm room, both of them feeling more comfortable than they have in a long time.

Maura's hand slides up the detective's cheek and slowly starts bringing their heads together.

Jane doesn't stop her this time, she couldn't even if she wanted to.

When their lips are merely centimeters apart, Maura whispers into her mouth.

"I love you, Jane Clementine Rizzoli." And closes the distance as Jane gives a tiny smile at the use of her hated middle name. Their lips touch and a million different emotions erupt in both of them.

Jane feels like her heart is going to explode out of her chest from the love she feel towards the woman on her mouth. She felt like The Grinch, her heart grew three sizes that day. And the happiness in the fact that Maura really does love her makes tears of happiness slip through her closed eyes.

Maura sees stars. Oh how long shew has waited for this, to feel this woman's lips against hers. To feel the love and companionship and kindness that just rolls off of Jane just for her.  
Just for her. Jane is this way just for Maura because she knows it's what she needs.

Jane slides one of her hands over Maura's stomach lovingly, her fingers grazing just under the blanket.

Maura's shoots her hand up and holds Jane's hand where it is, preventing her from moving the blanket down.

Jane looks up at her meekly. "I-I wasn't gonna...I just wanted to-"

Maura just shakes her head. "No, no it's not that. It's lovely, you're lovely. It's...it's just m-my" She stops before her unstable emotions betray her again.

"Hey, you can tell me. Not here to judge, remember?" She pushes a strand of golden hair behind the doctors ear and cups her face.

Maura closes her eyes, warmth spreading down her face and neck at the contact. Slowly, she takes Jane's hand and moves it down to the blanket. Using it to push the sheet away.

The brunette looks down at what Maura has made her reveal, and understands.

Maura gives a sad shrug of her shoulders. "I...this was so nice and I didn't want to ruin the moment by bringing up the baby or start crying again because I was thinking about the baby because I'm so tired of these damn hormones that just won't let up and I hate crying and being sad all the time-"

Jane puts Maura's rambling to a halt with two fingers pressed gently to her lips.

Maura looks at her apologetically. _"Great" _she thinks,_ "now I've really ruined it."_

But her panic turns to shock when Jane sits up, leans her head over Maura's stomach, and starts placing feather light kisses on every mark of stretched skin. Once. Twice. Three times each.

Maura puts one hand on the back of Jane's head, letting her fingers run through her curls, and the other over her her mouth, willing herself not to let out a sob of... happiness? love? She doesn't really know. There are no words to describe the way Jane makes her feel.

When she finishes showering her stomach with kisses, she moves up the bed and curls herself up next to Maura. Putting her head on her shoulder and carefully placing her arm around her stomach so as to not hit the towel off.

"It's good to move on Maur, and I want you to be able to get your life back, but I don't want you to forget about her. She was a part of your life...a great part of your life. God, you were so happy. I remember when you told me...I've never seen anyone so completely filled with joy before. She changed you, for the better. And I don't know about you, but I won't forget anyone who made you feel that way"

Maura places a kiss on the brunettes head. "_You_ make me feel that way," she whispers against her temple.

Jane smiles, and suddenly realizes she never said it back. She looks up into beautiful hazel eyes and her smile grows even bigger.

"I love you, Maura Dorthea Isles."

And she stretches her neck just a bit to capture the woman she loves in a kiss, the woman who loves her back.


	15. Chapter 15

**So I bumped up the rating, this chapter won't be the too explicit, but eventually... ;) **

They had stayed up almost all night. Though the arousal was roaring in both women, they knew it was too soon to take their passion to the next level. So the intimacy stayed, for the most part, at kissing and spooning.

With one exception.

The first time when Jane went to change the warm wash cloth on Maura's breasts for the cold one, she hesitated. Unsure if she would be crossing a line. She looked up at the woman laying half naked on the bed. Her golden hair lying loosely all around her head and shining slightly in the dull light of the bedroom.

She looked absolutely beautiful.

Maura nodded at her, giving her permission to remove the towel. Slowly Jane slid it away and tossed it over the bed post. Ignoring the rush of arousal that washed over her, she replaced it with the cold one.

Maura gasped at the sudden temperature change, but it turned into a moan as the coolness dulled the ache.

"Is that helping?" Jane had asked when she noticed the crease mark develop between the doctors eyebrows.

"Yes, I just wish it was a little more...fitted." She responded, hoping Jane would get the hint.

Jane's eyes widened slightly.

She definitely got the hint.

She lifted her hands and gently placed them so that the skin between her thumb and pointer finger were lined up in perfect curvature at the bottom of Maura's breasts. She pushed the towel up slightly so that it tucked into the bottom of them.

Maura closed her eyes and let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding in. It felt incredible. The soothing effect of the towel mixed with the support of Jane's tender hands made the pain practically disappear. And she too now had trouble ignoring her own extreme arousal.

The same ritual repeated every time the towel was changed. Leaving them both hot and bothered, which would result in an fierce make-out session that left them both breathless.

But only when they decided to go to sleep, and both women changed into their pajamas and got comfortable in each others arms, did the questions that had been running through their minds all night finally surface.

"So, does this mean...Are we actually doing this, Jane?" Maura asks when Jane puts her chin on her shoulder after taking her position as the big spoon.

She looks at her, a little disappointed. "Do you want to? Because if you're not ready, I don't just want to be a distraction from your grief, you know. I want to be all in, and if you can't do that right now-"

"I'm ready." She cuts off, turning herself around so that their foreheads are touching. Her eyes are honest, and loving, and Jane has complete faith in her words. "I'm ready", she says again.

Jane smiles and kisses her nose. "I'm ready too. But...I think we should take this slow. Physically, I mean." She bites her lip waiting to see what Maura's reaction will be.

Maura suddenly can't resist the urge to kiss her. Pressing her lips against the brunettes with a little more force than intended.

When she pulls away Jane's face is priceless, and she has to resist kissing her again.

"What was that for?" She asks, a smile playing on her lips.

"I find it very cute and irresistible when you're anxious. And I agree with you, we should take this slow. Neither of us has ever had sex with a woman before and-"

"Maura!" Jane blushes.

"What? Isn't that what you were talking about?"

"Yea but saying it out loud makes it...I don't know." Jane stutters.

"Are you trying to make resisting my urges more difficult Jane? I told you what your anxiousness does to me."

Jane gives a smirk and waggles her eyebrows before leaning in for another searing kiss.

"Jane. I have. Another. Question." Maura tries to say, but can't seem to completely separate herself from the detectives mouth.

"hmm?" Jane muffles.

Finally Maura puts her hand against her cheeks and holds them apart long enough to ask, "Are we telling people?"

Jane freezes. She hadn't thought about that.

"Uhh, I don't know...How about we just play it off like it's nothing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...like, we won't make a big announcement or anything, we just act like we've been together this whole time. If people ask, we say yes. If they don't, then we don't say anything."

"Hmm...that could be rather fun, actually." She says playfully as she starts tracing the detectives lips with her finger.

"Oh man, Ma's gonna flip!"

"Do you think she will be opposed to our relationship?" Maura says quietly, concern flashing over her face.

"I don't think so. She always said she wanted me to get with a hot doctor."

Maura laughs out loud and Jane's heart stopped at the sound.

She missed hearing that laugh, and she loved being the reason that it was back.

* * *

The following day the new couple got ready for work in silent bliss, stopping occasionally to peck the other on the lips. They pulled up to the station house together and shared one last breath-taking kiss before exiting the car and heading into the building.

Maura worked silently in her lab, smiling to herself and thinking of the gorgeous woman upstairs that was all hers. The woman who loved her completely, and could make even the most unspeakable tragedies seem bearable. She was so caught up in her thoughts about her new girlfriend that she didn't even notice it when she was standing right behind her, her partner in tow.

"Maura?" Jane called, and Maura spun around with a hand against her heart.

"Oh! Jane you scared me. I didn't hear you two come in. Hello detective Frost," She adds, poking her head over Jane's shoulder to greet him.

"Hey Dr. Isles." He answers keeping a respectable distance between himself and the remains the doctor was working with.

"Do you have the toxicology report for the Duran case yet? Cavanough wants know," Jane inquires.

"Yes, I have it right here." She steps around the other side of the table and hands over a manila envelope.

"Are you available for lunch today, Jane?" She adds nonchalantly, but when Frost isn't looking gives her a wink.

Jane fights off the mischievous grin that is threatening to spread over her face. "I am, but I have to go drop this report off and then get a warrant for Korsak. But after that I'm all yours."

"I can get Korsak's warrant if you want, Jane." Frost offers, completely oblivious to the tension between the two women.

"Thank you detective." Maura says before Jane can get a word in. Not that she would have objected.

"Ok, well I guess I'll go run this up to Cavanough and be right back then." Jane turns to go but Maura grabs her wrist, stopping her.

"Don't be long," she whispers seductively, and before Jane knows what is happening, Maura stands on her tip-toes and kisses her lightly on the lips.

Frost's jaw hits the floor.

"Uhh... yea I-I'll be back in...I'll be right back. Frost let's go." Jane stutters, her pulse going a mile a minute.

Frost is still frozen.

"Frost! Let's go!" She snaps at him and he finally acknowledges her, but is still speechless. He follows her out but stops and grabs her by the back of her blazer as she walks towards the elevator.

"Whoa, you aren't going anywhere until you spill, girl." He says, now grinning like a school boy. "Are you and Maura...dating?"

"Uh, yea. We are, let's go."

"Jane!" He says loudly so she stops walking away. Again.

"Yes?"

He walks up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and pulls her into a hug.

"Uh, Frost? What are you doing?" She asks, a little out of breath because he's squeezing her so hard.

"Do you have any idea how long everyone has been waiting for you two to get together? This is a freaking miracle, Jane!"

She laughs and detaches her self from him, "thanks man."

He smiles at her again and she can already tell what he is going to ask.

"Yes, you can take this to Cavanough and tell everyone you see along the way." She tells him shaking her head, but grinning.

"Thank you!" he says and snatches the envelope out of her hand before practically sprinting for the elevators.

Still laughing at his excitement she steps back into the morgue. Maura is silently humming to herself as she looks though a microscope. Taking advantage of her element of surprise, Jane quietly steps behind her and snakes her arms around her waist. Eliciting a little gasp from the blonde as she leans down and kisses her neck.

"I know I told you not to be long, but that was almost record breaking time. I can't imagine what made you want to come back so quickly."

Jane laughs, "was that a sarcasm doctor? I'm impressed." Maura spins around in her chair and wraps her hands around Jane's neck. "After that little performance, Frost practically needed help standing. But he was happy for us actually, asked if he could run the report upstairs so he could start telling the world about us."

"I'm glad he approves, but I don't think he will be able to tell the _whole _world. That would take-"

Jane stops her with a kiss. Causing Maura to moan a little and completely forget what she was saying.

The finally detach themselves and Jane takes her hand. "Come on, I'm starving," and they make it all the way up to the Division One Diner, never letting go.

* * *

"So are you going to tell her or are we going to do the same thing we did to Barry?" Maura asks as she munches on one of Jane's fries.

"I'm not sure yet, I kinda just want to rip off the band-aid you know? But she's my Ma, should I sit her down and tell her? And stop eating all my fries!"

"Well, I'm not sure what 'ripping off the band-aid' means but if you feel you should confront her about it than I fully support you. Just one more..." She reaches over to grab another fry but Jane swats at her hand.

"Not without payment, Dr. Isles." She gives her a crooked grin and Maura can't help laughing.

"Do you girls need anything else?" Angela says as she walks towards them.

"No I'm good, but Maur might need her own plate of fries."

"I was thinking I would just give you the payment you asked for and take more of yours." She gives Jane a look, asking if this is how she wants to do this.

Jane pauses for a minute, thinking it over. Slowly she nods once, giving Maura permission to basically make her mother faint.

With one had, she holds her hair to the side so as to not obscure the view, then she leans forward and kisses Jane just as she did in front of Barry, delicate and quick. She grabs a fry just before she sits down again.

As predicted, Angela grabs a hold of the table so she doesn't fall over.

"Maybe that wasn't such a good idea." Maura mumbles across the table to Jane.

"Ma...? You okay?" She asks wearily, her mother's eyes have gone blank and she looks like she's about to pass out.

When thirty seconds passes and Angela hasn't moved yet, Jane and Maura stand up and usher her through the swinging door into the kitchen.

"What was...did you just...was that...are you two... Janie what on earth!" Her mother blubbers, finally finding her voice. Maura takes Jane's hand and brings it to her lips before replying.

"Yes, Angela. Jane and I are together, we weren't sure how to tell you so Jane-"

She is cut short by a fierce hug that almost sends her flying backwards.

"Oh! I'm so happy for you two! It's about time you started dating!" She says, almost in tears.

"Thanks Ma," Jane says as she accepts her own aggressive hug.

"Oh I have to tell Frankie. Does Frankie know? When did this start?"

"Tell whoever you want, I don't really care. I don't think Frankie knows yet, and it just started so calm down." Jane tells her, but she can't hide the smile on her face from her mothers excitement. "But we gotta go back to work so we'll see you later. Bye Ma!" She calls as she drags Maura out of the kitchen.

"Wait Jane we haven't finished lunch yet, and we still have an hour before our lunch break is over" Maura pouts.

Jane turns and leans down to whisper in her ear. "Yes, a whole hour where we can do anything we want."

Maura's heart starts slamming against her chest, "My office?" She offers.

Jane nods and they all but run to the elevator.


	16. Chapter 16

Jane rushed into the M.E.'s office first and sat down on the couch, waiting not-so-patiently for her to lock the door before she practically jumped on top of her.

She straddles Jane's lap and runs her fingers through her hair, moaning as the detective leaves wet kisses all over her neck. Scooting forward slightly to close the minuscule gap that was left between their hips. As soon as they make contact Jane lets out a low growl that sends a shiver down her spine. She lifts Jane's head up and starts kissing her lips, her jaw, and moving down to start sucking at her pulse point.

"Mmm, Maur... I thought you wanted to...ohh," the detective attempts, but Maura's hands have drifted down to her stomach and are pulling to un-tuck her shirt. "..You wanted to go slow.." she manages to finish.

"I did...but this feels really good, Jane. I don't want to stop." At the sound of her name, Jane knows that there is no way they are going to be able to take it as slow as they had planned. All the pent up arousal from last night was surfacing, ten fold.

Jane wraps her arms around the woman's back and pulls her in closer, avoiding putting pressure on her chest. Causing her hips to flex involuntarily and her hands roam under the shirt she had somehow managed to unbutton as they begin work their way up to Jane's breasts. At the same time, Jane's hands are slowly pushing up her skirt and massaging her thighs.

In the same quick motion, Maura slides off her shirt and Jane lifts her up and lays her down on the couch, leaning down and kissing her so fiercely that neither one hear the knocking coming from the door. Not until they hear him call her name.

"Maura? It's Frankie, you in there?"

Jane snaps her head up and goes to roll over, not realizing that there is no room on the small couch to roll over and lands on the ground with a dull _thud!_

Maura slaps a hand over her mouth to stop herself from giggling at the sight of a flushed, half naked, and extremely pissed off Jane Rizzoli.

After gathering her voice she responds, "Just a minute, Frankie!" And point over to the desk mouthing _hide_.

Jane quickly scurries behind the desk on all fours and Maura stands, readjusts her skirt that had been gathered at her waist, and moves to the door.

"Hello, Frankie. What can I do for you?"

He steps inside. "Hey is it true? Are you and my sister finally dating? I went to talk to Frost and he basically shouted it so the whole floor could hear."

Maura smiles. "Yes, it's true. Is that all you needed?"

"That and I was gonna ask if you knew where Jane was. I wanted to see if she could help me..." but he doesn't finish. Maura follows his gaze to Jane's discarded shirt lying on the floor by the couch. She can practically hear the gears turning in his head. The shirt, Maura's usually pristine hair is ruffled, and a familiar black boot is sticking out from behind the desk.

"Oh shit, uh...I'm gonna go now." He turns to leave and as he walks out the door he yells over his shoulder. "Way to go Janie!"

Maura giggles out loud now and closes the door behind him before walking to her desk. Jane lays on her back with her hand over her eyes, shaking her head.

"Well that was embarrassing." She says when she notices the doctors presence.

"It wasn't that bad, imagine if that had been your mother!" Maura says and positions herself so she is hovering just above her.

"Yep, that would have been worse."

Jane's face is still flushed, her hair disheveled, and her shoulders bare. Maura delicately places a hand against her rock hard abs and leans in for a kiss.

"You are gorgeous, my friend" she whispers before running her tongue along Jane's lip.

The brunette moans as goosebumps rise all down her arms and legs. Sliding her hands down Maura's back and settling them over her perked-up ass.

"Jesus Maur, we're not gonna get anything done today if we keep this up. I'm never gonna want to leave."

She smiles into her mouth, "well I don't know about you, but after this last autopsy I'm done for today. What do you say we leave a little early? Spend the day me."

Jane thinks about it for a minute. It was a rather slow day, and she would much rather spend it with Maura then doing paper work on cold cases. Not to mention she had quite a lot of sick days saved up, having not taken one in a little over a year.

"I would love nothing more than to spend the day with you." She replies, leaning in for another kiss.

Satisfied, Maura stands up and hold out her hands, which Jane doesn't hesitate to take. After spending two minutes getting dressed again, she pecks her girlfriend on the lips one last time and heads for the elevator.

Maura sits in her chair and gathers herself, running her hands through her hair in a futile attempt to tame it. After giving up and throwing it in a loose pony-tail, she head into the morgue to finish up her last autopsy. The taste of Jane's tongue still lingering on her lips.

The elevator dings and Jane steps out into the bullpen. Before she can even look up she hears a round of applause coming from the desks that surround hers.

She looks up to see Frankie, Frost, and Korsak clapping their hands and smiling at her. Korsak is the first to speak. "It's about damn time you asked that woman out!"

Jane just smiles, deciding no to explain how she didn't exactly "ask Maura out."

"Alright, alright lets get back to work. I wanna get out of here early and spend the day with my girl." Another round of applause.

She plops down at her desk and starts her paper work right away, for obvious reasons, eager to finish.

* * *

Almost exactly two hours later, the elevator dings and Jane hears a familiar pair of heels clicking their way over to her. They get closer and closer, but only when they stop does she look up from her desk to see a radiant blonde beaming at her. Jane heart skips a beat, remembering that she is the reason that Maura is so deliriously happy. But just for a moment, something appears in her eyes that is not the happiness she is exposing. Although Jane can't quite place it.

"Are you ready to go?" She asks, her smile never leaving her lips.

"Yup." Jane stands and snatches her coat off the back of her chair before leaning down to peck her girlfriend on the cheek.

A chorus of "Awww," comes from the direction of Korsak and Frost, and she waves them off and takes the M.E.'s hand before heading to the elevators.

When they get home, Maura gently drops her keys on the table and goes to the kitchen to start making an early dinner. Jane follows her in and hugs her from behind while she pulls out her ingredients. Her hands work diligently and she focuses herself entirely on her task.

"You alright Maur?" Jane asks quietly, her chin resting on her shoulder.

"Yes of course, why do you ask?"

"I don't know, you just seem a bit distracted is all." Maura pauses and spins herself around so that Jane is facing her. She snakes her hands behind her neck and lets her fingers twirl in the brown curls.

"You make me very, very happy Jane."

"Why do I feel like there's a 'but' in there?"

"There isn't one. It is completely and utterly true that you..." she stops, her smile getting slightly smaller.

"What's wrong? Did I do something? Please tell me I didn't something to hurt you." Jane panics, seeing the same look in her girlfriends eyes that she saw before.

Maura shakes her head. "No, you did nothing wrong. It's me...I..." Jane walks her over to the couch and pulls her into her lap. Running a comforting hand on her leg as the smaller woman rests her head on her shoulder.

"Tell me, sweetie." She whispers into her hair. Maura lifts a hand to her cheek and pauses before whispering back, "remember when you said the tunnel doesn't go on forever? That it eventually ends?"

Jane internally winces at the memory of holding the sobbing mother in her arms at the hospital, whispering words of comfort that had barely made a difference in such a horrific situation. Or so she had thought. "I remember."

"Honey, _you_ are the light at the end of my tunnel. I couldn't be more grateful to have you in my life, and even more now that you love me the way that you do."

"I have always loved you Maura." Her words do not falter, they are strong. Confidant. Honest.

"And I have always loved you."

"So then what's wrong? That can't be the reason for this." She wipes away a tear that has slipped through Maura's eyelashes.

"It's because...as painful, and unbearable as it all was, and how much I simply couldn't handle going through that again, the...the feeling hasn't gone away."

"The feeling of...?" Maura does not answer, but lifts her head to meet her eyes, knowing she will understand with just one look.

And she does.

Her eyes fill with sympathy as she whispers, more to herself than to Maura. "You still want a baby..."

**As always, reviews are welcomed. Good or bad, your opinions matter. Thank you :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm not sure just _how _smutty you guys want this...so I kept it relatively clean. But if it won't offend anyone, I'd like to get more detailed about the romance ;) Let me know.**

Maura's lips starts to tremble as she nods, fighting back tears with all her might. Jane moves closer and touches her forehead with her own. "Sweetie, there's nothing wrong with that. It's completely understandable." Her voice cracks slightly.

"I-I know but you...you are everything to me. I love you so much, a-and I can't ask you to change for me. I could never ask that, and I wouldn't want you to change because I love you for who you are..." Maura rambles.

Jane's eyes squint slightly in confusion. "Maura what are you talking about?"

She takes a deep breath to settle herself. "You. You never wanted children, and I understand that. But I do, and I also want you. I'm afraid that if I have a baby you'll..." she pauses. "You'll leave."

Jane places a hand under her chin and lifts her head so their eyes meet. "Maura, I told you, I'm _all _in. For good, if you'll let me. If you want a baby, then have a baby. If you're happy, I'm happy."

"You would have a baby with me?" Maura whispers.

Jane's mouth glides into a tiny smile. "Yes, beautiful. I will have a baby with you."

Maura throws herself onto the detective so forcefully that she falls beck onto the couch. Trapped under a joyfully tearful blond.

Jane laughs and squeezes her tight, inhaling her intoxicating smell.

Somehow Maura's soft embrace led to her roaming hands and rolling hips. She lifted her head off of Jane's chest and replaced it with her lips, kissing her way from between her breasts, up her neck, and to her mouth. Jane sighed as their tongues met, letting her own hands slide up and down her girlfriends sides. She moaned against the feeling of Maura slowly rocking herself against her. Then suddenly she was gone. Jane opened her eyes and saw her standing above her, hand outstretched. "Come with me." she says seductively.

She obeys and takes her hand. Maura starts to drag her in the direction of the bedroom, "let's start now." She says with a wicked grin.

"Start what?"

"Trying to make a baby."

Jane laughs slightly, "you realize we can't _literally_ make a baby together, right?"

Her grin growing, she gives Jane a wink. "But we can sure try."

Not letting another second pass, Jane rushes forward, sweeps Maura off her feet and into her arms, and carries her into her bedroom. Their lips never parting.

* * *

They lie together, legs intertwined, naked bodies tangled underneath sheets that smell gloriously of sex. Maura's fingers drag along Jane's torso, watching with lust as her abs quiver. Jane's eyes roll back in her head at the touch. Oh the things this woman could do to her. As her eyes close she flashes back to only minutes before, her body shaking, gasping from the orgasm that Maura held her through, as she rode her own. Despite her recent release, she can't help the new drops of arousal that Maura's delicate touches on her abdomen produce.

She rolls to her side and wraps her arms and legs around the smaller woman, practically fusing their bodies together. Maura settles herself in Jane's warm embrace. Jane whispers into her hair, "I love you."

She smiles, "As I love you."

They sit in silence for a moment, each thinking about the discussion that occurred just before the earth-shattering sex.

They were going to have a baby.

Neither one was doubtful. They were confidant in their decision, but putting it into action was passing the point of no return. As nerve-wracking as the thought was, it was equally exciting.

But one other thing was floating around Maura's thoughts as she snuggles closer to the detective. _I'm in this. For good, if you'll let me. _That was what she said to her, for good.

Did that mean marriage? Marriage, sex, and a baby all in one night?

_No, _she thinks. _Not now_, she wasn't opposed to any of these ideas. Have a baby with Jane? Yes! Sex? Of course. Be her wife?...

Absolutely.

But all of this could wait. Wait until morning, when she woke up in her lovers arms. She kissed Jane's shoulder and fell into a sleep with dreams full of babies and weddings.

* * *

The next morning, Jane wakes up in the bed alone. She sits up quickly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and is about to call for Maura before sh ehears water running in the bathroom.

She's in the shower.

Almost instantly the fatigue is gone and Jane leaps out of the bed and runs to the bathroom door, still naked from last night.

She cracks the door open and hears her humming softly to herself, and through the fogged glass she sees her small, slightly curved frame as she lathers soap over her arms with a loofah.

Jane opens the shower door and a cascade of steam flows out, but when it clears Maura is facing her, smiling in anticipation.

"Join me?" she asks innocently, though the request is anything but innocent.

Jane steps in and picks up where Maura left off with the loofah, exploring different territory with it along the way.

Soon the whole bathroom is echoing with screams of pleasure from both women. Once they catch their breath, Maura takes a handful of shampoo and begins washing Jane's long, wild hair. Massaging her scalp along the way, eliciting the occasional moan from the detective.

"So, we're really going to have a baby huh?" Jane asks suddenly, and Maura's, still in her hair, freeze.

"You...you're not changing your mind...are you?"

"What? No! God no, I was just wrapping my head around it. I'm...I'm actually really excited." Her voice drops as she finishes.

Maura rinses out to shampoo and leans down to kiss her head. "I'm excited too, but their is one more thing I have to ask you, Jane."

"Shoot."

"Will you let me have _your _baby?"

Silence.

"Jane?"

"You really want to carry _my _baby?"

"Of course I do. Your features are quite extraordinary, not to mention I love you, and nothing would make me happier than to carry your baby. Our baby."

Jane's heart melts. _Could this woman be any more perfect? _she thinks.Jane turns herself around and wraps her slippery arms around Maura's equally slippery torso. "And nothing would make _me _happier than you carrying our baby."

Maura leans in for a kiss that leaves Jane weak at the knees, and eager to find that loofah again. Finally Maura pulls them apart just enough to whisper into her mouth, "we should probably get out of this shower, we have lots of appointments to make."

Jane is still breathing hard, and it takes her a minute to register the words spoken to her. "One more time?" She manages to say.

Maura laughs and begins to slowly bring her knee up between Jane's thighs...

**Review! ;)**


	18. Chapter 18

**100 ****followers?! Seriously!? You guys are the best!**

**Because of your loyalty, I give you smut. You're welcome :)**

It was 9am on a Saturday morning, and they drove in silence to office of Dr. Alexis Harrison, Fertility specialist. As they walked into the office, Jane took Maura's hand in her own and brought it to her lips. "This is it babe, you ready?" She asks.

Maura smiles and squeezes her hand. "Absolutely."

They sat patiently in the waiting room, Maura flipping through a "Modern Mom" magazine and occasionally placing a hand on Jane's knee to stop it bouncing.

"Sweetie, calm down."

"I am calm." Jane answers, a little to quickly. "I'm like, the calmest one."

Maura opens her mouth to call her out on her lie, but is interrupted by a nurse calling, "Maura Isles?" Jane's head snaps up, "Uh yea that's us. Her. Me and her."

Maura giggles as she stands up. "Sure Jane, cool as a cucumber."

"Shut up" she mutters under her breath as they walk towards the exam room. Within 15 minutes Maura is dressed in a gown and in swinging her legs impatiently on the exam table.

"Oh _now_ who needs to relax." Jane comments, but Maura responds with only a half smile, not registering what she is saying. "Hey, hun look at me. Look." Jane says. She sits down on the table next to her and takes her hand. Maura meets her gaze.

"It's gonna be fine okay? This is everything we wanted."

"I know, I know. I'm just a little apprehensive I guess." A knock on the door stops their conversation and Dr. Harrison steps in.

"Hello ladies, how are we doing today?" Jane and Maura glance at each other.

"Pretty good doc, a little nervous but for the most part pretty excited." Jane answers. They exchange handshakes and introductions, and Maura is asked to lie back for the examination. Their focuses are turned towards the ultrasound screen as Dr. Harrison says, "Well Maura, you're uterus looks healthy. You have plenty of viable eggs left."

"Oh, actually we decided to use Jane's eggs, and donor sperm." Says Maura.

"In that case," the Doctor stands, grabs a gown from a nearby work drawer, and tosses it to Jane. "Suit up."

When she steps back into the room, the two women have switched places. Jane is sitting on the exam table, scowl in place due to the uncomfortable and backless gown. And Maura sits patiently in a chair behind her, enjoying the view.

"Alright Jane you can lie back now," Jane complies, and flinches a little as Dr. Harrison puts the transvaginal ultrasound in place. Moments pass in silence and Jane has begun to tap her hand impatiently on the side of the table. Maura grabs it and laces their fingers together.

"Well, your eggs look great."

"You make me sound like a chicken, Doc" Jane snorts. "Wait, we're not taking any out today are we?" A hint of panic in her voice.

Maura answers. "No sweetie, they are most likely going to give us hormone supplements, and we still have to pick a donor."

"Maura is right," the doctor says as she removes the ultrasound wand and peels off her gloves. "I will go get them right now actually, you can re-dress."

The second the door closes behind her, Jane jumps off the table and reaches for the back of her gown, but a pair of smaller hands is already there.

"Let me." Maura whispers, her hot breath trickling down Jane's exposed spine, causing her to shudder.

"Mmm...Maura we can't do this _now. _She's gonna be back any sec- ohh.." Maura's hands have trailed up her torso and slid beneath her bra, leaving a trail of goosebumps. Slowly she moves her palms in a circular motion over Jane's breasts.

"Ohh...Jesus." Is all she can say.

"Jane, I very much hope that isn't the name you choose to call out later." Maura says smiling maliciously.

"Oh it won't, you can count on- wait...later?" Jane lifts an eyebrow.

"Yes, it's my way of thanking you, for doing this." Her voice is low. Jane puts her hands on her cheeks and lifts her head.

"Maur you don't have to thank me, if anything I should be thanking you."

"Thanking _me? _For what?"

A long pause. "For loving me back."

Maura lurches forwards and kisses her with all the passion she can, because there are no words she can use to say just how much she really does love her.

After the doctor gives them the files and their pills, they head to the parking lot. The ride home is silent, the anticipation looming over their heads. They step out of the car and head to the front door. Just as Jane unlocks the door and removes the key, Maura "accidentally" bumps into her arm, causing the keys to drop.

"Sorry darling." she mutters, as if it was nothing. But the second Jane is completely bent over to retrieve them, Maura takes a hand and slides her dainty fingers firmly down her backside, stopping just between her legs. Jane's freezes.

"Well, aren't you sneaky." She says, her smile reaching her ears. She stands up straight but Maura's hand hasn't moved. She uses the other one to push Jane forward into the house.

They never make it to the bedroom.

They kiss there way over to the living room floor and land on the carpet in front of the fireplace. Maura straddles Jane, and their hips rock together in a dance that they have already perfected. Jane unzips Maura's dress and peels it off the top of her body, exposing a white, creamy chest that Jane wants to devour. Maura begins to roll up Jane's shirt, but is stopped by the detective shaking her head.

"Maur if you don't get these pants off me right now I'm gonna ruin them, and I really like these pants." Maura laughs and has no trouble obliging. Swift and nimble hands unclasp her belt and slide it out of its loops, followed by a button, a zipper, and a pull.

As she rids Jane of her pants, Jane yanks her dress the rest of the way down, leaving her hands grasping at a white lace thong. The minor effort of disrobing has left their moths apart for far to long for Jane's liking. Releasing a hungry growl, she pulls on the thong until it rips off. Maura gasps but wastes no time settling herself over the brunette's thigh, and sliding her hand under the elastic of Jane's underwear.

"Oooh...Maur..." She breathes out, eyes rolling back into her head as she drags her fingernails along Maura's back. She moans, and leans down to stark sucking on her neck. With her tongue, she can feel Jane's pulse throbbing.

Jane reaches up to the clasp of her bra, the last bit of clothing left of Maura, she has already been stripped of her own bra.

"Can I?" She whispers. Maura nods into her neck and Jane snaps it off in one quick squeeze of her fingers. She brings her hands to the front of her chest, slowly dragging them down and settling them over Maura's breasts.

Her touch is soft, tender. She knew the lactation had stopped but still she felt the need to address them with great care. She rolls her thumbs over her nipples, and they harden at her touch.

Now that they have completely exposed their bodies to each other, they work effortlessly to help the other reach release.

Jane, sliding her leg slowly, up and down between Maura's thighs, delicately massaging her heavy breasts and arching her back as her climax builds. Maura's fingers move at the exact same pace as Jane's leg, moving in and out, and occasionally running her thumb over her clit. While her other hand tangles itself in her loose tresses, her mouth opens and her tongue plunges mercilessly into Jane's throat.

Maura's soft moans and Jane's husky groaning push the other closer and closer to the edge.

"Jane," Maura whispers against her neck. "I'm so-so close. Come with me, beautiful."

That was just the little push Jane needed. Simultaneously their speed increases slightly and Jane is the first to let out a hard gasp, gripping her body closer to her lovers. Maura is merely seconds behind. She shudders against Jane and lets out a moan as they ride out their orgasms in each others arms.

Their bodies at last relax, but they do not part. Instead, Maura stays in the embrace and lets her finger idle in Jane's hair. Jane reaches quickly for the blanket on the couch and throws it over their naked forms.

Jane's hands find their way to Maura's stomach, and she can't help imagining the feeling of her own child kicking against it. Maura's body, filled with the life she gave it. Maura can practically read Jane's mind as she thinks this.

"I love you so much, Jane." Maura says quietly.

"I love you too. You are going to be such an incredible mother."

She looks up at dark brown eyes, "so will you."

**Smutty enough? Honestly, was it to much? Too little? Let me know.**


	19. Chapter 19

_Side-effects may include mood changes, increase in blood pressure, increased appetite, and change in libido..._

Jane's mind was flashing back to the words that she had read off the internet that night. She and Maura were to begin taking the hormone pills immediately, and she wanted to know exactly what she was getting herself into. So once Maura had gone to bed, she used her laptop to look up the side-effects. But never in a million years did she think the pills would effect her like this.

They were at a crime scene behind an alley Beacon Hill, Maura was leaning over the corpse checking the time of death, and Jane was supposed to be scanning the area for evidence. But instead she was staring like a star-struck teenager at Maura, more specifically, Maura's gorgeous hips in her blue tight fitted work skirt. _God, _she thinks, _blue is definitely Maura's color._

She leans a little further over the victim and Jane has to grab a hold of the wall she is standing next to so she doesn't fall over. Just enough of her thighs is showing from beneath the dress and her ass is perked up like it's just asking to be grabbed.

She was still ogling at her when Frost walked over. He cleared his throat and she finally snapped back into reality.

"Hm? What?" She stammers.

Frost smiles, it had been obvious to everyone at the crime scene that Jane had spent the whole time drooling over Maura. "So um, you want me to get those statements then? You seem kind of...distracted." He purses his lips together to stifle his laughter.

She punches him in the shoulder gently. "That'd be great, and there's no need to be sassy just because you're jealous." She winks at him.

Frost shakes his head, still smiling. "Yea well, just try not to pounce on the poor woman while she's not looking." Frost was one of the handful of people she had told about them trying to have a baby. She trusted him like a brother and he was happy for them. And excited to take up his position as "Uncle Frost."

"I swear Frost, these freaking hormone pills things are driving me crazy. It's like ten times worse than PMS but its 24/7." She grunts, running her hand through her hair.

"Whoa, to much information." Frost says, throwing up his hands.

She laughs and points over to the crowd gathering behind the crime-scene tape. "Just go get the damn statements."

He walks away, and she turns back around towards Maura and the body. But gasps when Maura's face is right in front of her, with an expression that says _"I heard that whole conversation."_

Jane swallows, her heart thudding hard against her ribcage. She clears her throat, "Uh, hey. What's up?"

Maura bites her lip, smiling.

"Oh geez, babe, I'm begging you. Please don't make that face at me, you're gonna make me pass out."

She giggles and looks over Jane's shoulder to see how much privacy they have. Frost is talking to a witness and a patrol cop is talking animatedly with Korsak next to the parked cruiser. Maura puts her hands on Jane's waist and quickly pulls her behind one of the dumpsters.

"What are you-" But Jane is cut of by a kiss that nearly makes her falls over, it is quick, but hot. Oh-so very hot. Maura pulls back after a few seconds and Jane is already panting.

"You're right sweetie, these pills have an...overwhelming effect."

"That's not the word I would use but okay."

"And I have to confess, I wasn't exactly helping matters much."

Jane gives her a confused look, then realization hits her and her eyes widen. "Oh, you little tease! You were baiting me! Bending over like that...tsk, tsk Dr. Isles. You've been bad." She waggles her eyebrows and Maura starts laughing harder.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, you were doing the same thing to me. Though unintentional I'm sure, when you reached into the trunk of your car earlier to get the evidence bags, you made my pulse get so rapid I almost hyperventilated...again."

Jane slides a hand over her mouth to stifle her own laughter.

"It's not funny, Jane!" says Maura, though she is smiling playfully. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to get through this work day without..." She drifts off, and looks at Jane with her "come hither" eyes.

Jane stops laughing immediately. "Sign off on the body and go back to the morgue. Meet you in your office in ten minutes."

Maura nods once, ginning wickedly at the plan, and rushes off towards the coroners van. Jane turns back towards Frost, determined to finish up the evidence logs as soon as possible.

Two minutes later Jane is speeding back to BPD. She had convinced Frankie to finish up the logs, baiting him into it with compliments about his excellent detective work.

She was seriously considering using her sirens to get there faster, but decided against it.

Five of the longest minutes of her life later, she slams her car into park in front of the building and practically sprints towards the the coroner van bay on the side of the building, far too impatient to wait for the elevator inside.

She walks briskly up to Maura's office door and throws it open.

The blondes head snaps up and she steps out from behind her desk, her eyes wandering all over Jane's body. They walk towards each other and Maura jumps up, wrapping her legs around Jane's waist, peppering kisses down her neck. Jane holds her tight against her body, one hand on her back, and the other squeezing and lifting the butt that has been teasing her all day.

"Maura, Maura, Maura, Maura" Jane breathes like a mantra, causing the blonds hips to give a violent buck. Jane pushes her onto the edge of the desk, swiping away papers with one wave of her arm to make room. Then she claims Maura's mouth with hers while ripping open her blouse, buttons flying in all directions.

To Maura's own surprise, she doesn't even care. So far their lovemaking had been loving, passionate. Jane would spend time getting to know her body, as Maura would do the same to her.

This was different. This was hunger, and desperation. This was the feeling that the world was going to end if you didn't take this woman right here, right now.

Jane growls into her mouth as Maura yanks apart her trousers, pushing them just past her hips and sliding her hand inside her panties to find an already wet center. If Maura wasn't turned on already, she certainly was now.

Their foreheads were glistening with sweat as they work to disrobe just as much as they need in the quickest time possible. In one fluid motion, Jane shoves up that teasing skirt and slides a pair of soaked, black lace panties down around ankles, deciding in that instant to let her leave on her black pumps.

She enters her, and they are moaning so loud that Jane is surprised that people haven't come to investigate.

Jane curls her fingers inside her and Maura breathes hot air down her neck, "hurryhurryhurryhurry." She whimpers, and Jane laughs lightly at her uncharacteristic impatience, but goes faster.

Maura's fingers pick up the pace too, and Jane meets them half way as she rocks her hips forward into them. "Oh gooood Maura...do it." Jane commands as she goes to work on Maura's neck.

She places her palm flat against Jane's clitoris and gives a push. Jane's body goes rigid as she gasps. Her fingers curl tighter inside of Maura, and Maura screams.

Like actually has a screaming orgasm. If Jane wasn't so wrapped up in her own pleasure, her jaw would have dropped. Instead she cuts the scream short with her lips, planting them firmly over Maura's mouth.

When they are both finally able to breathe again, Jane unwraps her arms and lifts her head up off of Maura's chest to look her in the eyes.

And they both start to laugh hysterically. She feels her phone vibrate in her pocket but ignores it.

They laugh to the point where no sound comes out of their mouths anymore, they just hold each other as their shoulders shake from the giggles.

"Oh, oh my god." Jane finally breathes, her voice a little hoarse. "I can't believe we just- we just..."

"We just screwed like sex-crazed teenagers?" Maura offers, still giggling a little.

Jane nods and begins to laugh again. "And you! and you- you screamed!" She is almost doubled over now, laughing so hard that tears are forming in the corner of their eyes.

She disentangles herself from Maura's hold and they slowly begin to pick up the pieces of their frantic lovemaking, literally. The room is a mess, papers everywhere, clothes hanging from the plant in the corner of the office, Jane even recognizes her broken hair tie dangling from the ceiling fan. Maura stops cleaning for a moment and walks over to Jane, sliding her arms around her waist from behind. She whispers into her back, "For all its worth, that was the best orgasm I have ever had in my entire life."

Jane spins around and catches her face in her hands, pulling her in for a kiss. Maura smiles into her mouth, "I hope it was the same for you."

Jane groans, "you have no idea Maur, I thought I was going to explode." Maura laughs and pulls away.

"We should clean up this mess, I have to start the autopsy on that victim from the alley," she pauses and tuns to look at Jane. "And please, try not to distract me in front of Frost again. You know what it does to me when you wink like that."

* * *

Frankie and Angela were in the elevator down to the morgue. Angela was bringing Maura lunch from the cafe, and Frankie had been ordered by Korsak to check what time the autopsy would start.

The elevator door dings, and they barely take one step put when they hear a faint scream that is suddenly cut off.

Angela looks questioningly at her son, but Frankie's eyes have gone wide. Remembering what happened last time she showed up at Maura's office unannounced.

"What was that?" Angela asks loudly. "Did you hear that? Is someone hurt?" She starts walking in the direction of the office, but Frankie grabs her arm and yanks her back.

"Uh no I think... everyone's fine, I uh- just remembered, Maura went with Janie to go...follow up on a lead somewhere. We should go." He starts pulling her back into the elevator.

"Are you sure, cause I could have sworn-"

"I'm sure Ma! Let's just go, okay?"

She looks at him warily, but shrugs it off and gets back in the elevator. Frankie exhaled in relief and pulls out his phone to text his sister.

_**You owe me, big time.**_

_**- Frankie**_


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey there! So I just wanted to share something funny with you. Today in my anatomy class, my teacher brought her pet tortoise to class! And she's all talking about how it's an African Spur Tortoise and I couldn't stop laughing! haha anyways...enjoy! :P**

"When are you coming home?" Maura asks through the receiver. She can hear Jane exhale on the other side of the phone.

"I told you babe, tomorrow night." Jane stretches out on her hotel bed just outside Quantico. "I hate this stupid training camp."

Maura curls up tighter in her own bed, letting the sheets engulf her. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"Especially right now..."

Jane's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. "Oh yea?" She asks playfully, "why's that?"

"You know exactly why, Jane. Oh that reminds me, I've scheduled the appointment for the insemination on Tuesday. And before you ask again, yes, we still have to take the shots the night before."

Jane groans, "I hate shots! But forget about that, we were about to have a much more interesting conversation I think." She can practically hear Maura smile.

"Well, I seem to have gotten my days mixed up. I _thought _you were coming home tonight instead of tomorrow night, so I put on that black lace corset you bought me, and the thigh length stockings to match. But now I'm just sitting in bed...all alone...still wearing it."

Except for her rugged breathing, Jane was silent.

"Sweetie? Are you still there?"

"Oh yea, I'm definitely still here." She answers, her voice an octave higher than normal. "I just feel under dressed, you got all dolled up for me, and all I'm wearing is that silk vest that's just a little too tight at the top_..._well, that and a smile."

Maura closes her eyes, clamping her thighs together tight in a futile attempt to calm the throbbing between her legs. She could already see it, Jane in that silky smooth black vest that pushed up against her breasts, causing them to spill over the top and her nipples to poke through the material.

"I really, really miss you Jane."

"Tell me about it, they couldn't have picked a worse time to send me away. These damn pills are still kicking me into overdrive, I keep thinking every woman cop here who looks my way is pining for me."

"Jane Rizzoli, if you touch anything other than your gun out there I will surgically remove your hands."

Jane lets out a bark of laughter. "Don't worry beautiful, these hands belong to you, and only you."

"Damn right."

* * *

The Rizzoli's always had a way of filling a room with life, Maura thinks as she pours the pasta into a strainer. Angela is behind her cutting up tomatoes and yelling at Frankie, who is sitting in the living room watching the Red Sox game.

"Frankie! I didn't raise wolves, get your dirty feet off of Maura's nice coffee table!"

"Alright Ma, sorry." Frankie mumbles, his eyes still glued to the screen.

"And use a coaster, you're making a ring!" She adds.

"Alright!"

Maura laughs lightly to herself and looks up to see Tommy leaning over the breakfast bar. "Anything I can do to help?" He asks, taking a slow pull from his beer.

"No, it's okay I think we've got it. Thank you though." Maura flashes him a smile.

"You see, Frankie?" Angela yells in his direction, "why can't you be helpful like your brother?"

"He's just trying to flirt with Maura, mom. Which is pointless now so you can stop trying." He shoots a playful gaze at his brother.

Tommy walks over to the couch and plops himself next to Frankie. "Who's winning?"

"Sox, four-nothing."

At the same moment, both Rizzoli boys jump up from their seats and start shouting at the screen. From what Maura can gather, a poor move was made by the pitcher.

The shouting was so loud that she didn't even hear the front door open and close, not until a familiar voice boomed over the shouts did she turn around.

"Oh thank god you're cooking, I haven't eaten all day." Jane says, beaming at the view of her whole family gathered in her girlfriends house. Her girlfriend who was smiling at her like she hung the moon.

She steps up to Maura and wraps her arms around her waist, lifting her up and holding her tight with no intention of letting go. "I missed you so much," she says quietly against her cheek.

"Oh sweetie, I missed you too." She replies, her arms like a vice around Jane's neck.

"Get a room!" Frankie shouts, and when they finally separate they can see that everyone has stopped what they're doing to watch the little reunion.

"Shut up!" Jane shouts back. She slips her hand into Mauras and they walk into the kitchen, Jane places a kiss on her mother cheek and then jumps up to sit on the counter, turning her attention back to Maura.

"Jane get off the counter." Angela nags

"It's fine, I don't mind." Maura says, her eyes not leaving Jane.

Jane gives a triumphant smile and pulls Maura into her arms. "How was your trip?" Maura's voice is slightly muffled against the fabric of Jane's shirt.

"Awful, I missed you too much to enjoy anything."_  
_

"Awww!" is said simultaneously by Frankie and Tommy, who were eavesdropping.

Jane ignores them and Maura takes a step back to look up at her. "Being sweet isn't going to get you out of taking the shot."

"Dammit!" Jane growls, and Maura laughs. "I really did miss you though."

By the time the food is ready, everyone is too hungry to even talk, and the meal is finished within the hour.

"You outdid yourself again, Ma" Tommy says from the far end of the table.

Frankie mutters under his breath so only his sister can hear, "Kiss-ass"

She laughs, receiving a sharp kick to the shin by her mother who mouths _be nice_.

The table is cleared and Frankie and Tommy say their good-byes and head out to their cars. Followed by Angela who kisses them each on the cheek before heading to the guest house.

Maura and Jane are finally alone. Jane starts walking towards her with a knowing look.

"Hold that thought." Maura says, placing a hand on Jane's chest to stop her in her tracks. "Be right back." She heads to the bedroom.

Jane takes a seat on a bar stool and waits. A minute later, Maura comes out with a little black bag in her hand.

"Aww, really? We're doing this now?" Jane whines.

"Yes, Jane. We have to do it the night before the insemination, you know this."

"Yea but why do _I _have to take the shot too? You're the one whose gonna carry it."

"Because we need to harvest your eggs, and this is the last step to make them drop. Now, take off your pants."

Jane waggles her eyebrows and Maura giggles. "Not like that, just lower them enough so that I can do the injection." She reaches into the bag and pulls out a syringe with a two-inch long needle.

Begrudgingly, Jane complies. Leaning over the counter and sliding her pants down just below her butt. Maura slides a warm hand over the area, causing Jane to shudder.

Maura can't help but smile at the effect she has on her. "Hold still," she warns. "You ready? On a count of three. one..."

"Oh just do it! Counting down doesn't hel- AHH! SON OF A BITCH!"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry..." Maura chants, quickly putting gauze and a band-aid over the injection sight before placing a kiss on it. "Better?"

Jane sighs, "you didn't tell me it was gonna hurt that bad!"

"It was just a pinch, I'm sure you've felt worse pain before. Unless you're comparing a needle puncture to a bullet wound." At her own comment, Maura frowns a little. She hates thinking about that day.

"I'm just saying, a little warning would have been nice."

Maura reaches into the bag again and pulls out a second syringe, this time handing it to Jane. "Wha- wait you want _me _to do it?! I thought you were going to do it yourself?!"

"Jane I can't reach that far. Come on, I'll talk you through it. It's very easy."

"Says the doctor."

Maura switches places with Jane and bends over, sliding down her own jeans just enough.

"Maur, this is not going to be easy for me for a number of reasons. One, the idea of sticking a needle into my girlfriends ass doesn't really sound all that appealing. Two, I'm not going to be able to focus with you teasing me like that."

Maura laughs, "I'm hardly teasing you, but I understand where you are coming from. Jane.." Her voice is serious now. "This is for our baby."

All humor drops from the situation and Jane finally nods. "Okay, okay. Just tell me what to do." She leans down and readies the needle in her fingers.

"Alright, you are going to go in at a forty-five degree angle and push it a three fourths of the way in. Once it's in, pull out a little and check to see if there is blood present. If their is then inject the medicine."

"Thank you for saying that in human."

"You're welcome."

"Okay here we go. Ready?" Jane sounds apprehensive.

Confidently, Maura answers. "Ready."

In one swift motion, Jane throws the needle in almost like a dart. Maura hisses, but doesn't say anything.

Moments pass. "Ouch! Jane what are you doing?" Maura squeaks.

"I'm sorry babe, this thing is being really uncooperative." Jane's face is scrunched up in confusion as she tries to position the needle to find blood.

"Ow! Ow! OW! JANE!"

"I can't find blood! It won't move back out! I'm panicking babe!" Jane jumps back a little and flails her hands.

"Jane there is a NEEDLE sticking out of me! Do something!" Suddenly all of Maura's medical training went out the window, and at the sight of Jane panicking she panicked too.

"I don't know what to do! What do I do!?" Jane is about to pass out now.

"I don't know but do something before the needle breaks off and is stuck in my ass forever!" Jane's eyes go wide for a moment at Maura's rare use of swear words.

"Ok, ok hold on." Jane leans back down and without giving it a second though, pushes down the plunger of the syringe."

Maura takes a sharp breath. After a moment she asks, "did you do it?"

"Uh, I think so...now what?"

Maura whips her head around angrily to face her girlfriend, who now looks a little pale. "Now you take it out!"

The side door opens and both women turn their attention to the guest. "I left my phone on the- Oh my god! What are you two doing?!" Angela howls, averting her gaze.

Maura drops her head onto the counter. Jane groans.

Angela chances another look at the situation. "Is that a needle sticking out of your ass? What are you letting my daughter do to you?" Angela's voice is rising.

"Ma, it's nothing weird-"

"Looks pretty weird to me!"

"Angela," Maura jumps in. Always the one to diffuse Rizzoli family drama. "Jane is injecting me with a hormone supplement to help increase my chances of successfully carry a child. Jane's child, in fact."

This was not supposed to be how they told her, but there was no turning back now.

"E-excuse me? You two are having...are having a baby?" Angela's voice was suddenly softer.

"Yea" Jane answers.

Tears well up in the older woman's eyes as she launches herself at Jane. "Oh my god! You're finally giving me a grand baby! It's about time!" She cups her daughters face and looks at her lovingly.

"Yes, it's quite incredible. Would somebody mind removing this needle please?" Maura says impatiently.

Jane looks at her and shakes her head, eyes wide.

"Oh you big sissy," Angela says, shoving Jane aside. "She was always like this with needles, doctors appointments were a nightmare with her." She reaches forward and quickly yanks out the needle. Maura exhales and stands up, fixing her pants.

"Thank you Angela." She shoots a warning look at Jane, who shrink a little, " I didn't know you were trypanophobic?"

"Yea well it's not something I broadcast. Thanks, Ma." She turns to her mother who is still smiling.

"Any time baby, now I'm gonna go knit some baby booties." She gives Maura a congratulatory hug and walks out.

"That wasn't so bad huh?" Jane says smirking.

Maura turns to face her. "Maybe for you."

Jane scoots forward and wraps her arms around the smaller woman, letting her hands roam..."

"Ah, not so fast." Maura says, stopping Jane's hand from going any lower.

She groans, "what now? More shots?"

"No, I have a surprise for you actually. But if you don't want it..."

"I want it!" Jane bursts.

Maura giggles and reaches into her purse sitting on the counter. She pulls out a key and tosses it at Jane, who catches it with one hand. "What's this?"

"That," Maura points, "Is the key to the front door. And this," she pulls a small remote out of her pocket. "Is the garage door opener."

Realization hits Jane and her mouth opens slightly. Maura leans in and covers it with her own, causing Jane to moan.

"Move in with me." She whispers into her mouth. It is not a question, it's almost a demand. Jane wraps her arms around Maura's tiny waist and holds her tight against her.

"Good," Maura mumbles. "Now we can have fun." She smiles as Jane drags her in the direction of the bedroom, using one foot to slam it shut.


	21. Chapter 21

**Don't hate me...**

* * *

The insemination went smoothly, apart from all of Jane's less-than-appropriate jokes when Maura had to sit on the examination table with her legs in the air for thirty minutes.

Jane wrapped an arm around her waist and put her hand on her elbow as they walked to the car. "Jane, I'm not going to break." Maura comments at Jane ginger touches.

"Oh...yea I know. Just being careful." Her grip on Maura's waist slacked but she didn't let go. The whole ride home Maura had one hand on her stomach and the other in Jane's, and for the life of her she couldn't stop smiling. Jane noticed this too, and her heart swelled at the sight.

"It's really good to see you this happy again Maur," she whispers, her eyes still on the road. Maura lifts the hand that is interlocked with Jane's and kisses a crescent-moon shaped scar.

"And I have no one to thank but you for that, darling."

* * *

Maura had never been more painfully aware of her condition in her life. Every step she took, she thought about for at least a second, if her actions were safe for the potential child she was carrying.

She had been equally careful during her first pregnancy, but this time it was different.

This was _Jane's _baby, not Ian's. She was going to raise this baby with Jane, instead of alone.

She counted down the day almost to the minute. Two and a half weeks had passed and she had marked it on all her calenders.

This was the day she took the pregnancy test.

She told Jane to pick them up dinner before going home. Maura wanted to get there first so she could take the test.

She had it all planed out. She would take the test, have dinner with Jane, and for desert...she would tell her. She would tell her that they were going to have a baby.

She rushed through the front door, dropping her purse and keys on the floor as she did, but clutching tightly to the paper bag in her hand. She ran to the bathroom as fast as her stilettos would allow, and slammed the door closed.

Half an hour later, over her tears, she could hear the front door open slowly and then close again.

"Maura?" Jane shouted through the house, "I got you that weird cranberry walnut salad thing-"

She froze.

Maura was sitting cross-legged on the couch, a box of tissues in her lap and one under her eyes, wiping away tears as she choked back a sob.

She dropped the food and landed on her knees in front of her girlfriend. "Sweetie what happened!? Are you okay? Is it- is the baby..."

Maura shook her head, dabbing at the fresh tears that were developing.

"Well then what is it? Honey, please talk to me. You're scaring me." Jane pleaded.

Maura pulled two little white sticks out from in between the couch cushions and placed them in Jane's outstretched hand.

She glanced down at them, and her heart broke. "Oh...Maur." She cooed.

Maura dropped her head into her hands and cried harder.

Jane threw the negative tests on the coffee table and gathered the smaller woman in her arms. Maura put her head against Jane's shoulder, her tears soaking through her work blazer.

"I-I'm so s-sorry Jane." She hiccuped.

"Babe there's nothing to be sorry for. We tried, and we can try again. They still have some of the fertilized eggs, remember? It'll be okay...we'll try again."

Maura's crying began to lessen and she picked up her head to look at Jane.

"It'll be okay," Jane repeated, brushing blond hair out of her face.

There was a swift knock on the side door before it opened. "Hey! Look what I finished!" Angela bellows, holding a pair of freshly knitted yellow baby booties up in the air.

The women on the couch turned their gazes towards her, and at the sight of the little shoes, Maura sobbing returned. She dropped her forehead back onto Jane's shoulder and covered her face with her hands.

Jane wrapped her arms around her and shot a disgruntled look at her mother.

Angela's face was scrunched up in confusion, "What'd I say?"

"You really gotta work on your timing, Ma." Jane whispers as she rubs Maura's back.

"What-what if I can n-never get pregnant again? Oh god, Jane," Maura looks up at Jane, the pain in her eyes was almost unbearable. "What if th-that was my only chance to h-have a b-baby and lost it?!" She cried.

"Oh no, it wasn't Maur. We'll have a baby, okay?" She cups Maura's face in her hands and looks at her, the confidence in her gaze unwavering. "Maura, I promise you, one way or another, we will be parents, alright? We will have a baby."

Maura gives her the best smile she can, and leans up to place a soft kiss on her jaw.

"I love you," Jane whispers against her cheek.

"As I love you." Maura whispers back.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry Maura." Angela says quietly from the kitchen. She hadn't moved, not wanting to further disrupt the sensitive moment.

Maura gathers her self, shaking her head lightly. "It's okay Angela, but maybe just hang on to those for a while?" She nods in the direction of the booties now sitting on the counter.

"Oh of course, of course." Angela swipes them off the counter an shoves them into her pocket.

"Yea, and next time when you knock, wait for an answer!" Jane snorts. "Actually, I have a better idea." She gets up and walks over to the little table by the front door. She picks up a set of keys and slides them across the counter to her mother. "Go home, you can have my apartment."

Angela's mouth falls open, "But...where will you... Ohhhh." Realization strikes her halfway through her sentence.

Jane just smiles and turns back to her girlfriend. "So, how about we order Chinese or something? Since dinner is kind of ruined..." They both turn to the pile of overturned food scattered across the floor of the foyer.

Maura gives a light chuckle, "sounds good, but clean that up first." She jabs a thumb at the mess.

Jane groans, but drags herself off the couch and goes to find the broom.

That night, Jane and Maura went to bed early. Maura cuddled up against Jane's side and rested her head on her chest, relaxing at the sound of Jane's steady breathing and soft heartbeat.

Jane wrapped her arms around the blond and let her chin sit on top of Maura's head, idly playing with her hair. She could tell Maura's mind was wandering back to her infertility.

"Charlie" Jane says.

Maura's eyebrows curve inward, "what?"

"Charlie, I like the name Charlie for a boy."

Maura sighs, "Jane..."

"And for a girl, I kind of like Delilah, we could call her lily."

"Jane, please." She begs. Maura's tone makes Jane stop, pulling back slightly to look at her. "Let's not talk about names, not until we're sure-"

"I told you Maura, I _promised _you. Have I ever gone back on a promise?"

Maura snuggles back in to Jane's chest, "no."

"Exactly. So, Charlie and Delilah are my favorites. What are yours?"

Maura pauses for a long time before responding quietly, "Amelia."

"Amelia?"

"Amelia."

"Okay, how about for a boy?"

"Matteo."

"Seriously? Matteo?"

"Well we could shorten it to Matt."

Jane smiles and kisses Maura's temple. "Yea we could. Hey I have an idea, hold on." Jane slides her arm out from under Maura and walks over to the door.

Missing the warmth of the embrace instantly, Maura frowns a little and sits up. "Jane, where are you going?"

"Be right back! two seconds!" Jane calls over her shoulder.

Maura huffs and leans back, crossing her arms over her chest in a pout. Half a minute later, Jane strolls back into the bedroom with a pad of blue post-its and a two pens in her hand.

"What-" Maura starts, but is cut off by Jane's fingers to her mouth. When Jane removes them, she laughs at Maura's unbelievably adorable pouting face and can't resist kissing it.

"Mmm. Jane...honey...as much as I like where this is going..."

Jane finally pulls away and plops down right in front of Maura, her legs curled to the side. "Okay, so we have..." She uncaps one of the pens and scribbles onto the first post-it. When she's done she lifts it up to show Maura and reads aloud, "Amelia." Then she pulls it off of the rest of the pad and sticks it firmly to the head board of the bed.

Maura smiles, understanding where Jane is going. _She's full of good ideas today._ She takes the pad out of Jane's hand and pulls it apart so there are now two smaller stacks. She hands one back to Jane, who hands her a pen. When she reaches for it, their fingers touch and Jane softly rubs the back of Maura's hand with her thumb, flashing a reassuring smile.

"What did I do to deserve you?" Maura wonders out loud.

Jane gives her a wink, knowing full-well it gives Maura butterflies, and answers, "I told you, you loved me back."

Maura shift her position so that she is sitting right next to Jane, their hips touching, facing the head board. She leans her head down and rests it on Jane's shoulder. Jane lifts Maura's hand and drops a gentle kiss on it before giving it back and returning her attention to the post-it's.

"Matteo." Jane writes in her thin, slanted handwriting.

"And Delilah," Maura jots down in her own swirly, cursive hand.

"Charlie."

"Natalie."

"Abigail."

"Jude."

"For a boy or a girl?" Jane inquires.

"Either one I suppose."

Jane laughs, "Okay, how about...James?"

"Not bad, strong name. Clementine?"

"NO! That isn't funny Maura. You don't see me throwing Dorthea into the mix."

Maura giggles, "I don't mind my middle name, but you're right, I wouldn't name our daughter that."

"Jackson."

"June?"

"Hm...I kind of like that actually."

Maura smiles, "me too."

"Addison."

"Beatrice."

"Adelaide."

"Darius."

"Fillipo."

"Bianca."

"Melanie."

Before they know it, fatigue has washed over them both, and they don't even bother getting back under the covers. They fall back onto the plush comforter, cradled in each others arms. A sticky note stuck on Jane's cheek, and a pen still in Maura's hand.

The headboard is completely covered with blue post-its.

* * *

**Ok can I just say, in last nights episode (3x12) that young girl? The one who was shadowing Jane? Is like LITERALLY a Rizzles child. Like, she looks just like Jane, with the curly brown hair and sarcastic attitude, but her face is round, and her skin is pale like Maura's. And she's smart as **** too! Seriously if they don't get married on the damn show already I'm gonna lose it.**

**Also, I just realized I tend to channel my inner "Grey's Anatomy" without realizing it. I wan reviewing this chapter when I put the pieces together. The blue post-its, the promise that they will be parents. I don't know if I have any greys fans out there, but if I do...have any of you noticed this? Or is it just me?**

**And like I said before, don't hate me. I PROMISE you all a happy ending...eventually.**


	22. Chapter 22

"Okay, so, do you remember what we talked about the last time you were here?" Dr. Harrison asks as she lowers herself into the chair behind her desk. Jane and Maura take the seats on the opposite side, and Jane reaches for her hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Yes," Maura nods. "You said given my history, my next pregnancy would most likely prove to be difficult." Maura's hand is shaking a little, and Jane grasps it tighter.

"But that doesn't mean it's impossible," Jane reassures her. "And we can keep trying."

"She's right, Maura. This is just one of the many bumps in a very long road we're going down, but you're strong, and I promise that I will do everything in my power to get you two a baby." Says the doctor.

Maura sighs, "Alright then, so we are going to do the second insemination today?"

Dr. Harrison nods, "yes, I am going to get the exam room all set up for you. While I do that, I need you to sign some papers for me. It's just the routine stuff, same thing you signed the last time."

"Okay, thank you Dr. Harrison."

"Please, call me Alexis."

Maura nods and gives her a warm smile before she steps out, leaving Jane and Maura alone.

"You okay?" Jane asks quietly, noticing that Maura's shaking hasn't stopped.

"I'm...just a little scared is all."

"Why? There's nothing to be scared about hun, we know what's going to happen." Jane says, lifting the trembling hand to her lips.

"That's the thing, Jane. We _don't _know what's going to happen. I-I just..." she pauses, closing her eyes and dropping her head. "I just don't want to be disappointed again." She turns her attention to the forms in an effort to distract herself.

Jane stays quiet. She wants to say that everything will be okay, that they will get a baby this time. But she can't, because Maura is right. There is no way to know if this is all going to work out, but she made her a promise, a promise that she doesn't intend on breaking.

"You will always have me, Maur. You will always have me and I will always carry the weight for you when you can't. That's what I'm here for, and I promised you that I would make you a mommy. I will not break that promise, Maura."

Maura looks up from the papers she was signing, eyes wet with tears. She blinks them away and cups Jane's cheek, leaning forward to place a tender kiss on her lips. "Thank you." She whispers.

Jane is till holding Maura's hand as she hops up onto the table and lays back. Dr. Harrison drapes a sheet over her legs and asks her to scoot down a little.

Jane's eyes stay focused on the ultrasound screen by Maura's head, watching as the doctor carefully drops a handful of little grey blobs into an even bigger grey blob.

When they are finished, and Maura is again instructed to rest for thirty minutes with her legs raised, Jane lays her head down on the table by Maura's hand.

Maura runs her fingers through the unruly curls and takes a deep breath, trying to relax. _The less stressed I am, the less stress put on my body, and my baby. _She thinks.

"So, boy or girl, our kid is going to be a Red Sox fan. That's non-negotiable." Jane says, making Maura laugh.

"Fine, but then they have to take piano lessons once there old enough." She curls a brown lock of hair around her finger, pulling slightly until it falls back into place.

Jane huffs, "okay, but they have to play a sport too."

"Oh of course," says Maura. "Childhood obesity is a serious problem, exercise is crucial."

Jane laughs, "yea, and with my genes, the kid is gonna have baby weight 'till it's 10."

* * *

The days went by excruciatingly slowly. Maura had taken up meditation in an attempt to rid her mind and body any unnecessary stress. If it was anxiety that was the cause of her fertility issues, she wanted to create the most serene environment possible for her potential child.

After four weeks of daily meditation, Maura spent one lunch hour in her office reading an old edition of Boston Medical Journal.

She was hungry, but was too tired to go up to the cafe and buy her usual salad. The case the team had been working on was a tricky one, and everyone had been pulling extra shifts.

So instead of following her usual diet, she rewarded herself with a cheat day. Reaching into the bottom drawer of her desk, she pulled out an unopened jar of Nutella that she had bought yesterday while grocery shopping. Her father used to give it to her on toast when she was a child. Her after school treat that her mother would never have approved of.

She stuck the tip of her pinky finger into the tub for a quick taste, and moaned a little as it hit her tongue. She couldn't think of anything she was more in the mood for.

She set the jar on her lap, grabbed a spoon off her desk, and leaned back in her chair as she read her articles, pausing occasionally to help herself to a spoonful of the chocolate spread.

Half way through an article about a new Swedish technique for treating Parkinson's disease, her office door opens and a smiling Jane walks in.

She opens her mouth to speak, but closes it again.

"What?" Maura asks.

"Well...I was gonna ask if you wanted to get lunch, but it looks like you're already eating. What are you eating, anyway?" Jane asks as Maura lifts an alarmingly large spoonful of the brown substance up to her mouth, taking it all in one bite.

"Nutermff.." She mumbles through her full mouth.

Jane laughs, "One more time?"

Maura sighs and lifts up the almost empty tub for Jane to see.

"Oh, Nutella! Gotcha." Jane gives her a thumbs up before plopping into one of Maura's more comfortable office chairs. Maura turns her gaze back to the article, licking the chocolate clean off the spoon

They sit in silence for a moment, Jane's mind still thinking about the Nutella, and why it seemed so strange that she was eating it. She has never seen Maura eat it before, let alone sit in her office alone eating a whole tub like some hormonal...

Suddenly the light bulb clicks on.

Jane jumps up from the chair, "MAURA!"

Maura nearly jumps out of her skin at the outburst. She puts a hand to her heart to calm herself down, "What?!"

Jane points her finger at the jar still sitting in Maura's lap, her eyes as wide as dinner plates.

Maura's eyes squint in confusion, "Did you...want some, or something?" She inquires, gesturing at the Nutella.

Jane finally finds her voice, smiling, she shakes her head. "The smartest woman I know..." she says to herself. "A doctor, for gods sake! You'd think you'd recognize the signs! Think about it, honey. When have you ever willingly eaten so much of something that is so unhealthy? I haven't seen you break your diet in years."

Maura is still confused. "Jane, what are you-"

And now Maura's light bulb clicks on.

"Oh...my god." She says quietly, the spoon in her hand drops to the floor with a clang.

Jane is smiling so big her cheeks are starting to hurt. "Maura...look at me."

Maura looks up at her, her face is priceless. A mix of shock, and happiness, and confusion, and god knows what else.

Suddenly Maura turns her head to her office door. "Susie!" She bellows.

Jane flinches a little, "Maura, what the hell?"

Maura turns back to Jane. "Sweetheart, I need you to go to the pharmacy and buy a pregnancy test. Right now."

Jane is still in a bit of shock, she moves forward and plants a hard kiss on Maura's lips before pulling back, "I'm on it." She turns to leave, almost colliding with Senior Criminalist Susie Chang as she does.

"Susie, can you go get a blood test kit? I need you to take a sample from me and run it as fast as possible." Maura asks quickly.

Susie nods once and heads back into the lab to retrieve the materials.

Suddenly alone, Maura falls back on to her office chair. Slowly, she brings her hands up to her stomach and pushes down slightly just above her pubic bone.

There it is.

She pushes down again, still not sure if she was hallucinating it.

The tiny, but definite hardness that she had felt only once before.

The last time she was pregnant.

* * *

At the pharmacy, Jane runs down the aisles, basket swinging wildly in her hand.

When she finally finds the right one, she groans and murmurs, "Come on, seriously?" At the entire wall filled with over 100 different types of pregnancy tests.

Her eyes dart back and forth between all the different brands. She tries to remember everything she ever knew about pregnancy tests.

The only event that comes to mind is when Maura first told her she was pregnant, when she locked her in the precinct bathroom and revealed a purse full of little white sticks.

Her mind made up, she swipes and arm across the closest shelf, pushing about 20 different tests into her basket.

* * *

Maura sits in her office, her fingers drumming against her desk impatiently. How long has it been? Jane should be back by now. She glances at her watch and sees that only 15 minutes has passed.

It feels like a lifetime.

In the distance she hears stomping boots, and a familiar husky voice shout, "Out of the way! Move!"

Jane suddenly bursts into the Medical Examiners office, panting, her face flushed.

She bends over and puts her hands on her knees, speaking in broken breaths, "I got... A bunch... I didn't know... What kind... God... So many..."

Maura rushes forward and kisses the top of her head before snatching the bag out of her hand.

While Jane was gone, she provided a urine sample, and was now dipping stick after stick into the little white cup on her desk. Laying them all out in a row.

And now they wait.

Jane walks over to behind the desk where Maura is standing. She sits down in her chair and pulls Maura on to her lap.

Maura folds her hands together and presses them against her lips. Jane rests her chin on Maura's shoulder, and wraps her arms around her waist, one hand cupped against her abdomen.

One minute.

Now they are both staring at Maura's small silver watch. Jane's eyes begin to water from lack of blinking.

Two minutes.

A soft knock on the open door makes both their heads snap up.

Susie walks in with two pieces of paper stapled together in her hand. She hands them to Maura saying, "I had it rushed."

Maura says a quick, "thank you," immediately beginning to read the lab results.

"Maura..." Jane whispers.

Maura doesn't hear her, she is still reading the paper.

"Sweetie? Maur!"

Maura finally pulls her eyes away from the paper, "what, Jane? I'm trying to read-"

Jane is staring at all the little sticks, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Maura doesn't need to see them to know what they say.

She turns her head slowly back to the lab results, and focuses in on the sentence at the bottom of the page that she had yet to read.

**PREGNANCY STATUS: POSITIVE.  
GESTATION: 30** **DAYS**

* * *

**So it took me a while to figure out how I was gonna do this scene. Tell me what you think :)**


	23. Chapter 23

Jane slides her arm under Maura's knees and scoops her up off her lap, standing so quick that her head spins a bit. Or it could be from the rush of happiness that has suddenly overwhelmed her, but she doesn't know, and doesn't care.

She holds the blond tight against her and spins her in a circle. Maura swoons a little, laughing and placing her hands on each side of Jane's face, stroking a thumb over her temple before yanking her forward, their lips crashing together.

Jane moans a little and smiles into the kiss, pulling apart just enough to whisper into her mouth, "We're gonna have a baby."

Maura doesn't answer, instead reclaiming Jane's mouth, placing a hand on the back of her neck.

When the heat of the moment simmers down a bit, Jane gently lowers Maura to her feet, but keeps an arm around her waist. She holds them together, stomach to stomach, and put her other hand in the ME's, lifting it at their side at eye level.

A smile creeps over Jane's face as she starts to sway, their bodies moving side to side while turning in a lazy circle. As they dance, Jane breaks out in a poor rendition of Ricky Ricardo's "We're Having A Baby, My Baby and Me".

Maura bursts out laughing, but leans her head against Jane's heart and sighs, remembering the scene from a few years ago when they watched that particular episode of _I Love Lucy_ together. The episode where Lucy found a sneaky way to reveal her pregnancy to her husband, and Maura flashes back to their brief conversation,

_* "That's so sweet," Maura said as the end credits rolled. Sitting on the far side of the couch, her feet taking their usual position in Jane's lap._

_"Yea, sweet. A little cheesy, but sweet." Jane replied with a snort._

_"You wouldn't find a special way to tell you're husband that you were pregnant?"_

_"I told you before, no kids for me. But if I did decide to have a baby, I think the moment itself would be special enough." *_

Maura kisses her chest and pulls back, dropping herself onto her couch as she runs a hand through her hair.

Jane sits down next to her and nuzzles her nose against her neck. "Are you happy?" Jane asks.

"I can't even find the appropriate words to convey to you how happy I am." She replies, her eyes sparkling.

Jane lifts her head and plants a tender kiss at the corner of her mouth. "Me too."

Maura's mouth curves down a little.

"What's wrong?" Jane asks, her voice still laden with joy.

"Nothing, nothing at all. I couldn't be happier." Maura saves, caressing Jane's cheek.

"Buuut?.."

"But nothing. I really am incredibly happy, Jane. I just think..." she pauses.

Jane attempts to read her face with no avail, Maura was always the one who was good at interpreting facial expressions. She stays silent, urging Maura to continue.

"I think we should keep it quiet for a little while." Maura almost whispers, "I just want to be absolutely sure that everything...that everything will be OK. There's no point in getting ours and everyone else's hopes up if-"

Jane stops her with a hand to her lips and a shake of her head. "We can tell people whenever you're ready, but I don't want you hanging on to the fear that this," she places a tender hand on Maura's belly, "isn't going to happen. Because it is happening, right now. This is our baby," she rubs Maura's stomach, her smile growing. "We're going to have a baby."

Maura sits quietly, fighting an internal battle that Jane has just brought to light. She doesn't want to get overly excited again, knowing her history of failed pregnancies and an unreliable uterus is still playing a vital role in her goal to have a child. But on the other hand, constantly falling back into the terrible state of mind that having a child just isn't going to happen is also not something she wants to do.

Jane seems to be able to read her mind, because she takes Maura's hands in her own and brings them to her lips saying softly, "let's just play it by ear, alright? We'll make an appointment with Dr. Harrison, and keep this under-wraps for as long as you need. But we probably won't be able to hide it once you're waddling into crime scenes," she adds, the mental image making her heart flip.

Maura gives a light laugh, and nods once. "Okay." She answers quietly, her eyes glimmering with tears again. She smiles meekly, touching her forehead to Jane's and wrapping her arms around her slender waist. "We're going to have a baby," she whispers.

* * *

They walk up to the house together, Jane stepping in front of Maura to hold the door open for her. Maura thanks her with kiss on the cheek as she passes by.

"I still can't figure out how _you _didn't know. I'm not even the pregnant one, and I noticed first!" Jane laughs, walking to the fridge to get a beer.

"This is different than last time, sweetie. Every pregnancy is different, the symptoms can very." She slides off her heels as she lays on the couch, sighing as her exhausted body sinks into the cushions. Not remembering being so tired a moment ago.

Jane walks over and sits on the far end, lifting Maura's feet into her lap before slowly starting to rub them. Maura giggles,

"It's a bit early for you to start rubbing my feet don't you think?"

Jane smiles. "Never, I will rub your feet every day if you want me to." She runs a fingernail along the sole of her foot and Maura shudders, jerking it away.

"Rubbing, yes. Tickling, no." She gives Jane a stern look.

Jane lifts an eyebrow and smirks at the new information. "I wasn't _really_ tickling you, I was just..." She does it again, this time with two fingers. Maura bites back a laugh, trying to be serious. "Jane, I mean it. Nothing good will come from this."

Jane's smile widens, "oh come on, what could happen?" She grabs Maura's ankle tight with one hand and hovers her other hand over it, threateningly.

"Jane Rizzoli I'm warning you, if you continue to inflict gargalesis on me, my nerve transmitters and reflexes will result in..." Jane is giving her a look. A look that says 'I'm not absorbing anything you're saying because you're doing that google-talk thing again'.

Maura sighs, "Keep in mind, darling, that your child is currently pressing down on my bladder. And if you tickle me, I will either end up peeing my pants, or kicking you in the face, both of which I would prefer to avoid."

Jane drops her foot in a burst of laughter.

"Hey!" Maura says, not liking being laughed at. She chucks a throw pillow at Jane, but can't help smiling.

Jane tosses it aside and starts working her way up the couch to Maura's side. Kissing her feet, legs, stomach, shoulder, and finally lips as she settles next to her, squished between the blond and the back of the couch.

She presses her nose up to Maura's cheek and slides her hand onto her stomach, rubbing it gently. "I like the way you said that."

"Said what?"

"My child."

Maura smiles and snuggles closer to her girlfriend. "Our child."

Jane presses a tender kiss to her lips. "Okay so, how long are you gonna make me keep this quiet?"

Maura looks at her questioningly. "Are you eager to announce it?"

"Uh... Of course!" Jane says, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I want to shout it from the god-damn rooftops!"

Maura laughs. "Language, and I think after the first trimester should be safe. Like you said, we'll play it by ear."

"Mm, sounds good to me." Jane sighs, letting her eyes close momentarily against Maura's shoulder.

A moment passes, then out of the blue Maura says, "I haven't vomited yet."

A crease forms between Jane's eyebrows. "That's good."

"My morning sickness was out of control last time." Her voice has lowered. Jane noticed.

"Well, you said it yourself, Maur. The symptoms can very."

Maura nods, as if convincing herself of what she already knew. "You're right. I know...yea, you're right." She's babbling now.

Jane throws her leg over Maura's and wraps her arm around her waist. "Don't start drawing parallels. Last time you didn't eat your weight in chocolate spread."

Maura lets out a little moan, "God, now I'm hungry...again."

Jane laughs and lift herself into a sitting position, her legs tucked underneath her. "What are you two in the mood for? She asks, blowing a quick kiss to Maura's stomach.

Maura scrunches up her nose in thought. "Hm...the left over pizza from last night actually sounds quite appetizing."

Jane's face drops. "Uh, I kind of...ate that...this morning."

"This morning? Who has pizza for breakfast?"

Jane opens her mouth in mock surprise. "Everyone eats cold pizza for breakfast! I was in a rush, I woke up late and ate it in the car." She finishes with a shrug.

"You ate it _cold?!" _Maura says, like it's the strangest thing in the world. "That sounds disgusting." She places a hand on her stomach and rubs it as though soothing and ache.

Jane looks at her in confusion, but her eyes widen suddenly as Maura's face turns pale. "Uh-oh... Spoke to soon!" She says as Maura stands and makes a dash for the bathroom.

Jane is right on her tail, and pulls her hair back just in time for her to retch into the toilet. She sits down on the edge of the tub, one hand hold back honey-blond locks, and the other rubbing Maura's back.

"Blech! I thought it was called _morning _sickness? It's only," Jane glances at Maura's wrist, her arm still wrapped around the toilet, to see her watch, "six pm! No where near morning."

Maura dry-heaves a few more times before lifting her head out of the bowl and leaning it against Jane's knee, groaning in discomfort. Jane drops a kiss on the top of her head.

Maura goes to stand, but the second she's on her feet another wave of nausea washes through her and she drops back down to the toilet.

_A__nd so it begins... _She thinks.

* * *

**If you have never heard Ricky Ricardo sing "We're Having a Baby, My Baby and Me," I suggest you go on YouTube right now and find it.  
So cute.  
Anyways, tell me what you think, I love hearing you guys' ideas and theories about how the story will go. Makes my day :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Sorry for the slight delay! Had a hectic weekend, but I'm back! Enjoy ;)**

It's moving day.

Jane had been staying at Maura's house, well _their _house now, but hadn't gotten the chance to actually bring all of her things over from her apartment. It was a lazy Saturday, and Maura (and an impatient Angela) suggested that they spend the rare free time they had to officially move Jane in.

They stood next to each other in the apartment doorway, both had their arms crossed over their chests, and their minds deep in thought.

"The TV," Jane says.

"I have a TV. A much nicer one, too."

"We can put mine in the bedroom."

"Oh, I'm sure we can find something better to do in our bedroom rather than watch television," Maura comments with a smirk.

Jane smiles and bumps her hip against Maura's, giving her a light swat on the butt. Maura gives a little squeal. "Okay, okay, no TV." Jane agrees.

"The piano." Maura says, pointing to the standing grand piano against the far wall. Jane hasn't touched it in years, and a thick layer of dust coats the ivory and ebony keys. "I was serious when I said our child would be taking piano lessons."

"Okay, but I'll have to call Frost to come help me get it later this week, when he's not spending the day _golfing." _Jane adds sarcastically. "Like, seriously? Since when does he golf?"

"Many men of Detective Frost's age find golf to be an intriguing sport. It has to do with the male ego boost since it requires intellectual ability as well as physical," Maura informs.

"Golf is _not _a sport, and our child will never play it." Jane turns her attention back to the room.

The blond sighs, "There isn't much left for you to take that I don't already have, Jane." Maura reminds her. They had packed up everything else, her clothes, books, CD's, movies, stereo, even Jo Friday's toys and bed.

"Yea, I guess you're right. Now we just gotta haul all this stuff down stairs." Jane groans, turning to look at all the stacked boxes waiting for them in the hallway.

"I told you we have hired movers to do this, it would have made the process a lot easier." The blond comments as she walks towards the boxes and begins lifting the top one off the stack.

"Whoa! What are you doing?! Put that down right now!" Jane yells, rushing over to the ME and grabbing the other side of the box.

"What? Why?" She asks as she tightens her grip on the cardboard, suddenly finding herself in a game of tug-of-war.

"No. Heavy. Lifting." She stresses each word.

"Oh, honestly, Jane. It is far too early for heavy lifting to effect-"

"Not taking any chances." Jane interrupts, finally prying the box out of Maura's shockingly strong grasp and walking towards the elevator.

Maura decides not to argue. Jane's over protectiveness is one of the many reasons she loves her so much, and although it can be unnecessary at times, she was right. They shouldn't take any chances. "Well, what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" Maura shouts through the doorway.

"Sit there and look pretty," Jane flashes her a smile and winks. "I know you're hungry so go eat something, I'll be done in no time."

Maura huffs but makes her way back into the apartment to start rummaging through Jane's kitchen cabinets, they've been filled with Angela's recent purchases as well as some of Jane's old ones. Normally, she would have disregarded the dubious amounts of junk food and scolded Jane about it later, but her pregnant mind could only think of one thing.

_Hot Cheetos. _

She zoned in on the bag on the top shelf like a homing missile. She purses her lips as she stands on her tip-toes and stretches her arm up as far as she can. Her fingers graze over the bag and she smiles triumphantly. Using only two fingers she knocks the bag down off the shelf, not being tall enough to fully grasp it, and uses her other hand to catch it before it hits the counter.

Maura goes to close the cabinet, but her eyes notice something else. "Ooo..." She murmurs, a new craving developing.

She chews on her bottom lip and looks back to the open front door just in time to see Jane come in and grab another few boxes before making her way back to the elevator, mumbling something about having the laziest brothers ever, refusing to come and help.

Once she hears the elevator door ding closed behind Jane, Maura grabs the jar of peanut butter and twists is open in two seconds flat. Ripping open the bag of Cheetos with more force than necessary, she pulls one out and dips it into the peanut butter.

She pauses for a second, holding the peanut butter covered snack in front of her, eyes squinted trying to decide if she really wants to do this. As if to make the decision for her, her stomach gives an unattractive growl.

She pops it into her mouth and moans a little. _Best idea ever, _She thinks to herself.

The ME tucks the bag under her arm and takes the peanut butter off the counter, walking back into the living room and making herself comfortable on the couch. The jar situated between her crossed legs and the bag at her side.

She snacks happily and is silently thankful that her morning sickness, or all-day sickness, as Jane calls it, has subsided enough for her to be able to eat.

She sighs and closes her eyes as she continues to eat.

Suddenly a loud thud coming from the direction of the hallway makes her eyes fly open. Jane is standing there, a box at her feet, no doubt slipping right out of her hands at the sight of her girlfriend eating handfuls of peanut butter coated hot cheetos.

"Babe...please tell me you're not really eating that. That I'm having some weird fever dream, and imagining it."

Maura just shrugs, "sorry." Looking up at Jane as she licks the creamy butter from her fingers.

The brunette's forehead glistens with sweat from the effort of lifting boxes, her v-neck t shirt is tight in all the right places, and the expression on her face is completely irresistible.

"Come here." Maura says, trying to keep her face straight.

"What is it? I gotta take the last of these boxes down, can it wait?"

It most certainly can not wait. Jane's heavy breathing extenuates her breasts, and with each deep and slow inhale, Maura's arousal steadily grows. "Jane, come _here, _please." Maura stresses, no longer bothering to hide the smile.

Jane sighs a little but obeys, swerving around the dropped box and making her way to the couch. She shakes her head and laughs once as Maura moves the jar in her lap to the coffee table to make room. She sits by Maura's legs and laces her fingers with hers.

Maura plays with the long, thin, dexterous fingers she has come to love so much, but the thought of what those perfect fingers could do to her causes an ache between her legs that makes her squirm. She releases the fingers but takes a hold of Jane's wrist, pulling her closer.

Jane gives a light laugh as she starts to see where this is going. "Maur," she tries, but Maura just pulls harder. Finally to the point where Jane is laying on top of her sitting form, she drags her finger along the detectives jaw line, her other hand sliding it's way under her shirt.

Jane's hands don't move. They stay firmly planted on the couch, even as Maura pulls her down for a kiss. She lets her tongue run lightly along Jane's soft lips as she wraps her arms around her neck. She runs her hand through Jane's longs tresses and whispers against her. "Please touch me, Jane."

It's on the verge of begging. Since they found out Maura was pregnant, Jane has been withdrawn in the bedroom department. The day the pregnancy was confirmed by Dr. Harrison at their 9 week appointment, the two had gone home and started fooling around on the couch like horny teenagers. But when Maura began to drag Jane's hand towards her pants, the detective pulled away, said they should get to bed early so as to not be too tired for work tomorrow, and walked away. Maura had stayed quiet, not knowing how to make Jane more comfortable. They have done nothing but kiss since then.

Jane shakes her head a little, "I gotta finish loading the car sweetie."

"Mm, no you don't. Not right now. Right now you need to touch me," Maura answers as seductively as she can. "You won't break me."

Jane lets out a sigh, obviously internally debating this.

"Jane?" Maura tries, now seeing the serious look on her girlfriends face. She suddenly felt self-conscious, wrapping her arms around herself and looking nervous. "Is-is it me? I know...The Cheeto thing was kind of gross. And I'm probably not as physically appealing as I've been in the past. I've gained weight, and my skin is showing signs of excessive estrogen production. Getting aroused by me is probably not as easy as it used to be. I...I understand why you wouldn't want to..." She drifts off and turns her gaze to the floor, her hands fidgeting in her lap.

"Maura, are you crazy!?" Jane asks loudly, her voice cracking a bit. She puts a finger under Maura's chin to lift her head so their eyes meet. Giving her a warm smile she reassures, "you are so, incredibly beautiful. Like, breath-taking, stunning, so hot that I'm constantly torn between wanting to show you off to the world, or lock you away so you're mine forever." A smile tugs at the corner of Maura's mouth. "The Cheeto thing was a little gross, but you're carrying my baby, you can eat whatever the hell you want. And as far as arousal goes," Jane says a little quieter. "Trust me...I have absolutely no problems getting aroused around you, _especially_ now. You are glowing, babe. In a way that makes the whole world wish they could be just a fraction of how happy you look."

A tear slips out of the ME's eye as she leans forward to peck Jane's cheek. "Then what is it?" She whispers, her lips lingering just under Jane's earlobe. "What's wrong?"

Jane sighs, a little embarrassed. "Are-are you sure it's...safe? I mean- I won't, like...I don't want to squish it, the baby, or you...or-or..."

Maura starts laughing a little and shakes her head, relief washing over her at the innocence of Jane's worry. "No, no sweetheart." She caresses Jane cheek, "I promise you, you won't be squishing any body. It is perfectly safe for us to engage in sexual-"

Jane swallows the end of her sentence with a kiss. Hearing everything she needed to give her incentive, and her hands slide their way up to Maura's sweat pant, fingers hooking them at the waist band. "Tell me if I hurt you, or do something wrong." Jane says in a husky voice, her mouth kissing it's way between Maura's breasts and down to her belly.

The blond moans, the wetness between her thighs pooling more and more with each kiss. She lets out a little frustrated groan. "Jane, you won't hurt me, or the baby, okay? The only thing this baby is doing, is making my pituitary gland work in overdrive." Jane pauses, hovering above Maura's hip bone.

"You need a little work on your bedroom talk there, doctor." Jane smirks.

Maura clarifies with sparkling eyes, "I am very, very turned on right now." She opens her legs a little wider, takes Jane's hand and places it at her still clothed, and scorching hot center.

Jane's eyes go wide, Maura can practically see them filling with lust. "You know," Jane croaks out. "Out of all the places we've been...getting caught with our pants down, I have yet to have the pleasure of making love to you in my own bed."

Maura smiles. "Well, your _old _bed."

Jane leans back down for another kiss, tasting the lingering flavor of peanut butter on Maura's lips. This time, Maura can't wait anymore. She wraps her legs around Jane's waist and claws at her t-shirt.

Jane gives a hungry growl that makes Maura even wetter, if that's even possible. Jane stands, lifting them both as she does. She rounds the couch blindly, not daring or not able to open her eyes against the feeling of the blonds hip bucking against her own.

She walks as fast as she can to the bedroom and they both fall back against the stripped mattress. Maura opens her legs to accommodate her lover, and Jane pushes on her shoulders as she climbs on top, slowly grinding her pelvis against the doctors mound.

Maura let's out a shaky moan, silently begging Jane to take her. The detective lifts her arms and Maura slides her shirt and sports bra off, throwing them across the room. Jane leaves a burning hot trail of kisses down Maura's neck, causing her hips to jerk upwards. "Jane," she breathes, "Sweetie, n-no teasing, I'm ready, I'm r- ohh."

Jane slides Maura's pants down and lets her fingers slip under the cotton underwear, through the soaked folds underneath. Maura grasps at Jane's jeans, desperate to touch her back. "Take these- I want them off- get them off."

Jane smiles at her love drunk girlfriend, pulling down her own pants and throwing them somewhere near her pre-discarded shirt. Maura pushes away Jane's boy shorts and slips her finger into an equally wet opening. Jane's eyes roll back in her head as she grinds against Maura's hand.

Jane follows Maura's rhythm, sticking two fingers inside her and a thumb at her swollen clit. Maura gasps a little every time circles it, and Jane thinks she will never get tired of hearing that sound.

The blond wraps her legs around Jane's hips again, urging her to go harder and faster. Jane complies and Maura replaces her own hand with her thigh, pushing in a little harder into Jane with every thrust.

The whole bed is shaking violently, the headboard slamming against the wall. But neither of them care. They are moving out today, the neighbors can be Angela's problem.

"Oh god oh god oh god," Maura squeaks as her climax grows. Jane nibbles at her neck, and Maura pulls her hand up to Jane's hair, tangling her fingers in it.

Jane's lips hover over Maura's breasts, wanting nothing more than to devour them. But pregnancy had made them slightly sore to the touch, so instead she teases them with her own, slightly smaller breasts.

She lets her erect nipples graze against Maura's stomach as she speeds up her fingers, slowly she moves upwards so that her breasts sit lightly on top of Maura's bra.

Maura groans, wanting nothing more than to feel them tough her own. She brings one hand to the front clasp and snaps it open, revealing the soft, porcelain flesh. "Gently," she whispers in Jane's ear.

Jane nods and presses her breasts against Maura's. Now Jane moans, "Oh god, Maur, I'm so close." she growls.

Maura gives one more hard push, and Jane is quivering, moaning and squirming as her orgasm rips through her. Just the sight of it makes Maura follow suit, clawing at Jane's back like her life depends on it.

They stay in each others arms, panting and smiling, resisting the urge to go again, because they really do need to finish loading up all the boxes.

**Review :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**AWW! You guys made me blush! I was reading your reviews, and my mom saw me looking at my phone, smiling like an idiot and red as a tomato. She asked me if someone sent me a dirty picture -_- I said no, but the internet loves me lol. Seriously though you guys are the greatest! Last chapter was kind of focused on the more humerus and cute parts of pregnancy, this chapter hones in on the less fun parts. But it ends well, also this one is the longest chapter so far. Tell me what you think! **

Jane trudged up the stairs slowly, still in her pajama bottoms, and a ceramic mug in each hand. She uses her hip to push open the bedroom door, and curves her eyebrows when she finds it empty.

But the unmistakable sounds of vomiting turns her attention to the bathroom. She carefully takes the mugs in one hand and uses the other to turn the doorknob slowly.

Maura is wearing a black fitted pencil skirt that stops just above her knees, which are bent with her legs to the side in front of the toilet. Her blue silk blouse is opened an unbuttoned, exposing a beige bra and an ever so slight distention in her abdomen. She is taking slow, deep breaths with her eyes closed, and her head resting on her arm on the edge of the toilet, willing her stomach to relax.

She was in the middle of getting dressed when the morning sickness began.

The doctor turns her head to the side when she hears the door open, and gives Jane a small smile. "Hi," she croaks.

"Hi back," Jane says moving closer with one of the steaming mugs outstretched.

Maura groans and brings her head back over the bowl, "Not even decaf, sweetie. I told you..." She says, her eyes shut tight as she battles with the oncoming nausea.

But Jane remembers, she remembers all of the things Maura can no longer consume. Both because of the rules of pregnancy, and the specific triggers of her girlfriends morning sickness. The smell of coffee is at the top of the list.

"It's tea, the coffee is mine." Jane explains, taking a seat on the floor behind to her and kissing her shoulder. She puts both cups to the side and drags her fingers down Maura's back, and slowly brings them back up.

Maura sighs and lifts her head up. "Mm...that feels good, thank you." She whispers

Jane smiles. "Anytime," and kisses her between her shoulder blades. "You sure you wanna go in today? I can call you if we really need you, you should stay home and rest."

But Maura just shakes her head, "I can't, I have to get as much done as possible before my maternity leave. I'll be fine. Just give me five more minutes."

Jane laughs lightly, "you can't time your vomiting, honey."

"Five more minutes," Maura insists.

Jane knows better than to keep pushing. They've had this conversation every morning for the past two weeks, and every time Maura would win. It was official, Jane was whipped. She couldn't for the life of her say no to Maura's adorable persistence to keep working, despite her symptoms.

The nausea, light-headedness, fatigue, abnormal appetite, dizzyness, and everything else that Dr. Harrison had warned them about had come in full-swing. But Maura was a little fighter, and she refused to stop fighting it, even at work.

Maura flushes the toilet and takes Jane's hands to help her up. She stands stationary for a few seconds once she's on her feet, and Jane can tell she's fighting off a dizzy-spell. She keeps her hands in the blonds until she's sure it has passed, and leans down to kiss her forehead. "You good?" She asks.

Maura verifies with a nod, and rubs Jane's arm before facing the sink to brush her teeth. Again.

Jane goes to the bedroom and gets dressed, and by the time she has slid her gun into its holster on her belt, Maura emerges from the bathroom looking radiant as ever.

Jane walks up to her and runs her hands over the silk of Maura's blouse. "I really don't get how you do it."

"Do what?" Maura asks.

"Walk out of there looking like an angel, even though you looked like you were about to pass out five minutes ago."

Maura gives a small smile, and leans in to kiss Jane's neck. "Make-up is a miraculous thing, darling."

"Or you're just perfect." Jane stops Maura's inevitable protest with a soft kiss on the lips. And she can feel the ME smile against her mouth. She pulls apart and laces their fingers together, "you ready?"

Maura nods, "yes."

"Did you eat?"

"Yes, but it was pointless seeing as I just regurgitated it all." She answers shyly.

"I'll grab you an apple, you can eat it in the car," Jane says as they walk back into the kitchen.

Maura leans her head on the brunettes shoulder and sighs. "You're too good to me."

The car ride to the station is mostly silent, apart from Jane singing along with Tom Petty on the radio. Maura laughs and enjoys the show, until Jane hits a speed bump just a little too fast. Her smile disappears and her eyes go wide. She punches the "off" button on the stereo with a finger and squeezes Jane's arm, her nails almost digging into her sleeve.

"Aw, Maur that's the best part-" She turns quickly to glance at Maura. One hand is clasped over her mouth, and her face has gone green. "Oh, shit. Hold on babe." Jane swerves the car to the side of the street and throws it in park. She jumps out of the drivers side just as Maura stumbles out of the passenger side, barely making it in her heels to a trashcan in a nearby alley before she retches into it violently.

Jane is behind her in half a second, holding back her hair and wrapping an arm around her midsection to prevent her from falling into the garbage. As she holds Maura against her, she can feel her abs tightening and clenching in pain each time she heaves, and her heart goes out to her. Every day, nearly all day, the love of her life puts up with this constant sickness, and can still manage to smile half the time. Jane knows that if it was _her_ who was pregnant, she'd be downright miserable.

The vomiting finally subsides and Jane kisses the back of her neck, sliding her hand so that she is cupping the minuscule bump. Maura straightens herself, squares her shoulders, and takes a deep breath. Wiping away the one tear that had escaped, and regaining her dignity instantly.

She slowly turns around to face Jane. "I'm good," she says as confidently as she can. "I'm good."

Jane nods and reaches her hand up to fix a stray lock of blond hair. "Good."

Jane helps her back in the car and hands her a pocket sized bottle of hand sanitizer, and a strip of gum before pulling away.

* * *

They pull up to the crime scene and Jane takes one last concerning look at Maura. "You sure you're okay? There's nothing in your stomach, I'm a little worried."

"It's probably better that way, everything seems to come back up regardless." Maura answers with a shrug.

"Promise me you'll munch on some crackers later or something?"

"Promise."

They give each other one last peck on the lips before going into work-mode, and they approach the scene with their usual professionalism

"What have we got?" Jane asks Frost as she pulls on the latex gloves he's handed her. He looks a little green too.

"37 year old white male, Jeffery Duncan. Found I.D. in his wallet. Looks like a jumper to me." He points to the top of a nearby building, and Jane and faintly make out an open window.

"We got CSU up there?" She asks.

"Yup, already found a couple of prints on the window sill."

She nods and moves towards the body that Maura is crouched over. It still stuns Jane that the mere_ idea_ of the smell of coffee can make Maura queasy, but a dead guy with his brains splattered all over the place, and his bones sticking out of his work suit, doesn't.

"Injuries are consistent with a fall, though accidental or not is impossible to tell as of now." Maura says as she sticks a syringe into the victims foggy eyeball. She sees Frost wince from the corner of her eye, but is relieved to not feel her own nausea returning. "Died between five and seven hours ago," she confirms.

"Alright, so far it looks like a suicide. Frost, go talk with his employers and find out if he'd been depressed or anything lately." Frost nods and silently thanks her for letting him leave before heading into the building.

Once the evidence is bagged and tagged, the statements are given, and the victim has been poked and prodded, they go to leave for the precinct. Maura stands from her crouching position, but once on her feet, sways a little and staggers sideways, reaching for the nearest thing to hold on to. In this case, Frost's arm.

"Whoa, doc. You alright there?" He asks, using his free arm on her back to steady her.

"Y-yes, sorry Barry. Stood up too fast." She answers lamely, still not letting go of his arm.

He waits patiently for her eyes to clear and her grip to slacken, then walks her over to his cruiser and leans her against the hood. "You look like I did when I first saw the vic," he jokes. "Which is weird cause you're the Queen of the Dead. You never look sick...sorry." He apologizes for using the nickname she is less than fond of.

"It's fine, Frost. I've just been a bit under the weather lately, just a stomach bug, it should pass soon. I appreciate your concern though." She gives him a warm smile, which he returns. Her smile turns to a frown quickly as she feels her pulse quicken, and hives slowly start to creep their way up her chest. "I'm just going to go find Jane..." she mutters, pushing past Frost.

By the time she reaches the detective, her hives have materialized above the top of her blouse. Jane glances her way, and bites back a chuckle, "Oh boy, who asked?"

"Frost!" Maura breathes, "he asked if I was okay, and I said I had a stomach bug!" She is on the verge on hyperventilating.

"Oh- okay, okay calm down." Jane tells her, the blonds panic becoming evident. "Technically, it is sort of a stomach bug, right? It's in your...stomach...for the most part, and it _is_ a little bug. Our little bug."

Maura gives her a reproachful look. "Being cute isn't going to help! I implied-"

Jane cuts her off, "Implying is completely different! Come on, lets go. I'll talk you down in the car." She wraps her arm around the ME's waist and kisses her temple before heading back to the car.

"This is proving to be more difficult than I had thought." Maura admits as they pull away.

"I know, hiding it isn't fun. But you said-"

"I know, I know. I'm not changing my mind, I'm just saying," she sighs, "it's difficult."

Jane pulls Maura's hand up to her lips and kisses it. "We'll be okay. It's just a few more weeks."

* * *

Jane is up in the bullpen, throwing wads of paper at her trashcan when her stomach gurgles a little. She whips out her phone and sends her girlfriend a text.

_I'm starving, so you probably are too. Going down to the cafe, what do you want?_

She tosses another piece of paper into the bin and her phone vibrates.

_You're perfect. Tuna sandwich on sourdough with extra pickles and a chocolate milkshake. We love you. _

Jane grimaces at the order, but smiles a little.

_I love you two...too_

Foam boxes in hand, Jane elbows her way into the morgue and walks into Maura's open office door. The ME is laying back in her chair, her eyes closed, her high heeled feet resting on top of her desk, and her hands slowly rubbing her stomach.

"Hey gorgeous," Jane says upon entering, smiling at the view.

Maura lifts her head up just a bit and opens one eye, "Hey yourself."

Jane plops down on the seat on the other side of her desk, and puts the box by Maura's feet. "Tired?" She asks as she opens her own box.

"Always." Maura answers, sliding her feet back to the floor and pulling her chair forward. "But I don't mind." And she doesn't. She is carrying Jane's child, her exhaustion is nothing in comparison to her bliss.

"I do, you look completely wiped... Beautiful, but wiped." She saves when Maura gives her an incredulous look.

"Well, there isn't much I can do about it." She lifts the sandwich out of the box and licks a bit of tuna off her finger, "God, that is amazing."

Jane smiles at her girlfriends delight in her lunch, and lets the subject drop. Maura slurps at her milkshake and Jane stands up, "Hey, gimme a sip of that."

Maura jerks the drink away from Jane's reach, and swivels her chair so that her back is to the detective.

Jane's eyebrows shoot up. "Oh, it's going to be like _that _now?" A playful smile pulls on her lips.

"Like what?" The ME answers innocently, still not turning around.

Jane moves to the other side of the desk, grabs the back of the chair and spins it, slowly but firmly, until Maura is facing her. She looks up the brunette with puppy dog eyes, and her straw between her lips. Jane puts her hands on each arm rest of the chair and leans down, their noses almost touching. "You, little missy, are going to give me a sip."

"Oh am I, now? How can you be so sure of that?" Maura raises an elegant eyebrow of her own, her expression challenging.

"Oh, I know you will. Because if you don't, I might just have to tickle you to death."

"It's impossible to tickle someone to death, unless you have a preexisting heart- Jane!"

Jane let her fingers wiggle on the doctors sides, knowing it would throw her into a fit of giggles. What she didn't expect, however, was for Maura to flinch so fast that a good amount of chocolate milkshake would fly up and out of the cup, and fly straight into her face. Covering her left cheek, half her mouth, and her nose, with frozen chocolate.

Maura slaps both hands over her mouth so fast that for a second, Jane thought she was going to vomit again. But she could see the smile in her eyes, and she knew that Maura is hiding her laughter with all her might. And she is failing miserably.

Jane tries to scowl, but finds it difficult. Maura is laughing so hard that no sound is coming out of her mouth. She moves one of her hands from her mouth to her heart and holds it there as if it were about to give out from sheer laughter.

"Oh- oh my. Jane I'm so-" but she can't finish. Her giggling is completely out of control. Jane stands up, a drip of chocolate slides down her chin and lands on the tip of Maura's nose, causing the laughter to cease immediately. The blond gasps and looks up at Jane, "You did that on purpose!"

"YOU did THIS on purpose!" Jane points a finger at her own chocolate covered face.

Maura purses her lips to keep from laughing again. "I did not do it on purpose, but I don't regret it."

Jane's mouth falls open. "Hey!"

"Sweetie, I can't even remember the last time I laughed that hard." Maura explains, still smiling like a fool. "But, I do regret that my milkshake is gone now, I really wanted to drink that."

Jane huffs, "can you just get me a napkin or something? I'm getting a brain freeze."

Maura moves closer to her. "Here, let me." She pushes the brunette down onto her desk so that she gains a few inches on her for once. She slides her hands over Jane's ears, and pulls her in like she would if she was going to kiss her. But instead, she sticks her tongue out just a little, and swipes it along Jane's cheek, leaving a chocolate-free trail behind it.

They both start to laugh again as Maura continues to lick, suck, and kiss away all of the milkshake. When Jane's face is finally clean Maura pulls back, but Jane grabs her by the waist and brings her back in. Kissing her once on the lips before using her own tongue to lick away the drip on Maura's nose.

"You realize you just pulled a Giovanni, right?" Jane says as she releases her girlfriends hips.

"A what?"

"A Giovanni. Remember, all he wanted to do was lick your face."

Maura chuckles, "Correction; he wanted to get me naked, _then _lick my face."

"Yea well, so do I, but I got work to do." Jane jumps off the desk and leans in for one last kiss. "Get some rest if you can, okay?"

"I will most likely be going home a little earlier today anyway, I only have one more autopsy to do and you were right, I'm wiped."

Jane reaches the door and turns around. "How are you going to get home? We drove here together, remember?"

"I could always call Giovanni." Maura answers with a smirk.

Jane just rolls her eyes, "don't you dare, woman. I am the only one allowed to lick your face."

"You certainly are, and I can get a cab."

"No cabs for you. Cabs are sleezy, and cabbies are sleezier. Take my car." She tosses her keys to Maura, who catches them with one hand. "I'll get a ride with Ma."

"Jane, a cab will be fine-"

"No excuses, see you at home. I love you."

Maura gives her a loving smile and blows her a kiss. "As I love you."

* * *

Jane steps into the house and immediately sides her boots off, letting them land in the doorway, not caring that she will get scolded later for it. She slumps out of her blazer and ascends the stairs. She opens their bedroom door and throws it on the bed, slides her gun out of the holster before placing it in its proper drawer.

"Jane? Is that you?" She hears Maura call from the bathroom.

"No, it's your dirty mistress." Jane answers sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, well in that case you should leave. My girlfriend will be home any minute, and she's armed."

Jane throws open the bathroom door to find Maura in the bath, bubbles up to her shoulders. She has her eyes closed and is laying against a towel behind her head, but she is smiling at her own joke.

"Who taught you sarcasm?" Jane asks as she strolls in, "not funny, by the way."

This time she opens her eyes and turns her head to face the detective. "I thought it was quite humerus."

Jane just shakes her head and puts the toilet seat down so she can sit on it. "I'm glad to see you're finally relaxing."

"Join me?" Maura asks and she closes her eyes again, and leans her head back on the edge of the tub. Jane didn't need to be asked twice. She pulls off her belt, shimmies out of her pants, and pulls off her shirt. Just as she unclasps her bra, and leans down to pull off her underwear, one of Maura's eyes opens to steal a peak.

She closes it quickly and Jane slides in to the opposite side of the tub, sighing as the warm water went to work on her muscles instantly.

Jane pulls one of Maura's feet into her lap and starts rubbing her calf muscles, knowing they kill her constantly from wearing heels all the time.

Maura moans and slides down a little farther. They stay quiet for a few minutes, letting the water cleanse them from the stress of the day.

"Do you think we're moving to fast?" Maura asks suddenly, not lifting her head or opening her eyes.

Jane kneads her knuckle gently into Maura's calf before dragging it all the way up, and back down again. "What do you mean?"

"With us. The baby. Moving in together...are we moving too fast?"

Jane's hands stop moving, and Maura finally looks up. "I'm not saying I'm not happy or anything! I am, I most certainly am. I just wanted to know what you thought."

"I-I don't think it's too fast for _us. _I mean, yea maybe this all kind of happened rather quickly, but it worked out great. Right?" She looks at Maura with almost pleading eyes.

"It worked out fabulously, darling." Maura reassures. "We've wasted enough time already being too shy or scared to admit our feelings."

"Exactly." Jane picks up Maura's other leg and starts massaging that calf too.

"I only wish we had gotten our honeymoon phase. We went straight into having a baby, missed the romance part, totally skipped getting married." Maura sighs, and she can feel Jane's hands tense on her leg. "But there's no need to rush that," she saves quickly. "No pressure."

She looks up expecting to see Jane's jaw tightened and eyes wide with the thought of marriage, but instead, her eyes are soft, and she is flashing a dimpled smile.

"What?" Maura asks.

"We didn't miss the romance." She drops Maura's foot and stands before stepping out of the tub.

"_Jane!"_ Maura gasps.

"Don't worry, I'll get a towel so I don't get water all over the floor. Just give me two seconds."

The truth was that Maura wasn't asking her to get a towel, in fact, she was disappointed when she saw Jane pull her towel off of the edge of the sink.

"Wait!" Maura shouts without thinking.

Jane whips her head around, towel in hand. "What?"

Maura flashes a wicked grin. "Leave it off."

Jane laughs, but drops the towel right where it is. She moves to the cabinet on the far side of the bathroom and starts pulling out candles, placing them all along the counter, the edge of the tub, and any where else they can fit. As Jane busies herself, Maura stares wide-eyed at the tall, tan, and soaking wet detective. Her water on her skin makes the light shine off her naked figure like some angelic sex goddess. Her long hair dripping and falling past her shoulders ending at her breasts, and her tight, toned abs make Maura's mouth water.

"Sweetheart..."

"Hmm?" Jane asks over her shoulder as she fiddles with the radio, trying to find some romantic music.

Maura takes a deep breath, "hurry, please."

The longest minute of her life later, Jane finally finds a sweet song, dims the lights, and steps back into the tub. The glow of the candlelight makes the room feel warmer than it really is, and the soft music only proves Jane's point. The romance is definitely still here.

"Come here." Jane says, and Maura slides herself to the other end of the tub, backing up between Jane's legs until the brunettes front is pressed flush up against her back.

"The romance will never end, beautiful. So long as your mine, I will be your hopeless romantic." Jane whispers against her neck, causing a shiver to shoot up Maura's spine. "Promise."

Jane moves a hand to Maura's stomach, rubbing it gently as she kisses her shoulder, her neck, and her back. Her other hand runs the length of Maura's inner thigh.  
Maura wraps an arm around Jane's thigh and kisses the top of her knee. "I love you so much." She says.

"I love you too." Jane answers. The hand on Maura's stomach dips lower, and Maura moans.

She backs up a little further so that her backside is pressed into Jane's core, and Jane moans too, dropping her head onto the blonds shoulder.

They find their rhythm, and it is not like it has been as of lately. Once Jane knew it was safe to ravage her woman, all Maura had to do was give her the, 'I need you. Right here. Right now,' look, and Jane would come running. Maura's hormones turned them both 16 again.

But tonight, Jane gives her romance.

And not just with the candles, and the bathtub, and the music. She makes slow, sweet love to her. Letting her hands touch every single inch of Maura's body, worshiping it, thanking her in every physical way possible for bringing their child into the world.

She slowly rubs herself against Maura's body, while Maura does the same to her hand. Jane massages her breast tenderly and kisses at her pulse point.

Maura throws one of her arms back behind Jane's head and turns to kiss her on the lips.

They stay in the tub until the water has gone cold, the candles have burnt out, and the song is long over.

* * *

**What do you think?**

**When I was writing this, I was trying to imagine the kind of song that would be playing while they were having sex in the bathtub. It was a tie between "Always Remember Me" by Ry Cuming, and "Hold You In My Arms" by Ray Lamontagne. If you haven't heard of either of them I suggest you give them a listen. They're pretty romantic and I could practically hear them when I was writing the last scene.**

**Oh! And expect some drama next chapter ;) I've got soooo many ideas *evil laugh***


	26. Chapter 26

There is nothing better than the sleep you get the night that you close a big case. Every cop knows this, hell, even Maura knows this. Both women had been working their fingers to the bone to catch the guy who had been slipping arsenic into peoples coffee's at local cafe's. Thanks to Maura's incredible forensic work, and Jane's rock-solid evidence, the man was caught and arrested that evening.

And now they lay in bed. Jane sprawled out on the left side, legs tangled in the sheets, and an arm hanging lazily over the side. Maura lays peacefully on the right side, one arm tucked under her pillow, and laying in a semi-fetal position on her side, her back to Jane.

Jane in sweatpants and a white tank-top.

Maura in Jane's BPD shirt, and underwear. Pregnancy gives her no tolerance for pants at night, which Jane loves.

Jane stirs for a moment, lifting up her arm and suddenly feeling a bit chilled. She grabs the blankets that she has kicked by her feet and scoots herself over to Maura. Throwing an arm over her waist and snuggling in closer. Maura subconsciously moves back and cuddles into her usual position as little spoon.

Jane lets out a breath, ready to let sleep over come her again, but something is wrong.

Something _feels _wrong.

Sticky. Wet and warm and sticky. Jane feels it on her stomach, and brings her hand to the front of her shirt to investigate. When she pulls her hand back something dark is covering it, something with a metallic smell. She already knows what it is, but her sleep induced mind can't seem to think straight as to why it would be there, so it can't possibly be what she thinks it is.

She rolls over to her end of the bed and flicks on the night-stand lamp, taking a glance at the clock as she does. _2:14 am_

Her hand is red.

Covered in red, warm, sticky, metallic smelling blood.

"What the hell." She breathes, her voice groggy. She grabs the covers with her clean hand and throws them back, Maura automatically curls up tighter against the cold.

But Jane barely notices. All she can see is red, a small puddle of bright red blood is polling under Maura's pelvis, soaking her underwear completely.

"Oh my god. M-Maura." Jane's voice cracks, putting a hand on Maura's shoulder and shaking it slightly. Maura stirs, but doesn't fully wake.

"Maura! Baby, you're- you're bleeding!" Jane's voice comes out borderline hysterical now, and Maura's head whips around to face her. Eyes wide in disbelief, even as they fall on Jane's red hand. She gasps and sits up in the same moment, looking down at herself as she does. And now she can see the basketball sized circle of blood underneath her. "Oh...oh no." She whispers.

Jane finally snaps out of her stunned trance, and tries to take control of the situation. To do what she does best. She jumps out of bed and starts pulling clothes out of drawers. A pair of yoga pants and a hoodie for Maura, and a fresh t-shirt for herself.

"We-we gotta get you to a hospital." She says as she turns back to her girlfriend. Maura has not moved, her face is pale, and Jane doesn't know if it's from the blood loss or the fear that is crashing over her like a tidal wave. Her gaze is still stuck on the blood she is sitting in, her eyes beginning to glaze over. "No, no no no no, Maur," Jane stutters rushing to her side. "Look at me baby. Hey, look at me." She pulls Maura's face up to her own. "Don't go there, okay? We don't know...we just don't know. Alright? Come on, let's go." Trying with all her might to convince both Maura and herself that everything will be OK, she takes Maura's hands and pulls her to the edge of the bed. She lifts the smaller woman's arms and slides the sweatshirt over her head, kissing her softly on the lips when her head reappears on the other side.

Maura doesn't kiss back, her lips just are as still as the rest of her body. Jane's heart shatters into a million pieces when she realizes what's happening. As an autonomic defense mechanism, Maura is mentally, and emotionally shutting herself down. Jane has seen victims and witnesses do it more times than she cares to remember. It's true that they don't know the cause of the bleeding, but whatever it is, it can't be good. And Maura has been in more pain in the past year than anyone should ever have to go through in their lifetime. So she is shutting herself down, slowly putting her walls back up, brick by brick. The walls that Jane was finally able to break down, just as Maura had broken down hers.

Jane pulls Maura into a standing position and kneels down in front of her to help her get her destroyed underwear off, and pants on. Maura puts her hands on Jane's shoulders to balance herself as the brunette slides the blood soaked garments down and tosses them aside. Lifting each of Maura's legs into the pant holes and pulling them up as she stands.

She kisses her again, even though she knows she won't get anything in return. She just needs to reassure Maura of something, since she can't reassure her about what's happening to her baby.

Their baby.

Jane takes five seconds to pull of her blood spotted tank top and throw on the fresh t, then takes Maura by the waist and leads her slowly out the door, glancing at the clock as she does. It had felt like hours had passed, when really it had only been minutes.

_2:20 am_

* * *

The ride to the hospital is eerily silent. Maura is almost catatonic, and Jane is chewing on her lip, fighting back tears and trying to focus on the road she is speeding down, instead of the love of her life and her child disappearing right in front of her. She grabs Maura's hand and squeezes it before bringing it to her lips.

"I love you, Maura. So, so much. And I will always love you." She says against the doctors knuckles.

Maura says nothing, but gives a light squeeze back. It's better than nothing.

The hand on the steering wheel still has some blood on it, despite Jane's efforts to wipe it off on her pants. She moves that hand to the bottom of the wheel, unable to even look at it.

She tries again. "Do you feel any pain? Maur, are you cramping, or anything?" Her voice is gentle, and sincere.

Maura slowly shakes her head.

"Okay, okay that's good." Silence again.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jane sees Maura sit straight up, as if something has suddenly donned on her. Jane glances in her direction but doesn't speak, not wanting to say anything that will send Maura back into her daze.

"How...how long?" Maura murmurs almost inaudibly.

"How long what, sweetie?"

Maura slowly turns to face her, "how long...how long was I bleeding for? W-we went to sleep at around t-ten thirty. Some of the b-blood had already congealed..." She drops her head into her hands as a single sob wracks through her body, it shakes her so hard it looks like she will break her in half. Jane moves her hand to her back and rubs it comfortingly. "How d-did I not n-notice?"

"Maura, this isn't your fault. Okay? Do you hear me? You couldn't have known honey, and...and maybe it's a good thing that-that you're not cramping. Maybe...maybe..." She can't think of any type of silver lining to give her. So instead, she just whispers, "I love you, I love you with everything I have. I will always love you," for the remainder of the car ride.

A lifetime later they pull up to the Emergency Room doors, Jane jumps out of the car and yells for a nurse who comes running with a wheelchair. As they usher Maura inside, Jane tries her best to explain exactly what happened in as much detail as possible. Her head is spinning with the effort of trying to provide the play-by-play of the night, and the panic and fear that is surging through her veins. She was never able to handle medical emergencies well, she panicked and forgot things. She wasn't calm, or collected, or confident. That was Maura.

They settle the ME on an exam table and the nurse leaves to go get the OB/GYN on call. Jane links her fingers with Maura's and leaves them at her lips, and closes her eyes, silently praying for the first time since she was a child for her girlfriend and baby to be OK.

The curtain is thrown back and Jane's attention turns to a familiar face.

"Hello you two, it's nice to see you again. Though the circumstances seem unfortunate." Says Dr. Jessica Rollins. "What seems to be wrong, Maura?"

Maura opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. She opens and closes it three times before Jane steps in. "She was bleeding, like a lot. There was a lot of blood and we didn't know why and-"

Dr. Rollins shakes her head, "you did the right thing coming in, bleeding can be caused by many different things. You know this, Maura." She turns her attention back to the blond and places a comforting hand on her knee.

This seems to momentarily draw Maura out. "There was approximately two ounces of blood, no cramping or pain. No abnormal discharge." She says mechanically, and Jane is speechless for a second.

"Okay, lets have a look, shall we?" Dr. Rollins pulls out the ultra sound machine, and Jane lifts up Maura's sweatshirt before kissing her on the head and taking her hand. Maura is silent again, but the corner of her mouth twitches just a bit when Jane kisses her.

Warm goo squeezes out on to Maura's stomach. "How far along are you now?" Jessica asks coolly.

Maura swallows before whispering, "th-thirteen weeks."

Silence again as the doctor maneuvers the wand over Maura's belly. Jane in staring at the screen so hard she might burn holes in it. Maura is facing the ceiling, eyes closed, ready for the worst.

And then they hear it.

The rapid _thump, thump, thump _of their baby's heart.

And it's as if the air finally flooded back into the room.

Jane lets out a humongous breath that ends in a relieved chuckle.

_"Oh,"_ Maura's exhale ends in a whimper, and she looks down at the screen, where the tiny flicker of a heartbeat glows strong and bright. "Oh." She repeats. Jane leans up and places her lips on Maura's temple, touches her forehead to Maura's, and whispers, "Our baby is OK. He's fine, honey. He's fine."

Maura just nods over and over again, the last of her tears sliding down her cheeks, letting the words sink in and her panic dissipate.

After the initial relief washes away, Jane looks back at the doctor, whose eyes are wet with un-shed tears as she watches the scene unfold. The detective wipes at her own cheek, "So, why was she bleeding so much then? That can't be normal, can it?"

According to the doctor, pregnant women have about 50% more blood in their body, so some bleeding is normal. But in this case, Maura has a low lying placenta. And supposedly, extreme stress can cause it to separate from the wall of the uterus, which is bad. This was just a mishap, but Rollins insists that Maura get as much bed rest as possible for the remainder of her pregnancy. Jane has never heard so many medical terms used in one explanation before, even when Maura was telling her about her autopsies. But Maura soaks in every word Dr. Rollins says, nodding occasionally to show that she understands.

* * *

They finally make it home by 4:30, and they both are too exhausted, and yet too wired to sleep. Jane falls on to the couch and lets her head hang back, Maura goes to the kitchen to get them each a glass of water. When she walks back into the living room, Jane's head is bowed and she is shaking it.

"Jane?" Maura says timidly.

At the sound of her name, Jane shudders and slumps her shoulders, shaking slightly with the effort to keep her crying silent.

"Oh, sweetie..." Maura rushes to her and pulls her into her arms. Jane drops her head on to Maura's shoulder and lets the smaller woman hold them flush together. The ME strokes her unruly curls and kisses her head. "I know, Jane. I know, that was scary," she coos, trying to keep her own tears at bay at the sight of Jane, her rock, her middle-ground, utterly falling apart.

_"God, _I-I thought...I thought that the b-baby-" Jane hiccups.

"I know, sweetheart, me too." Maura whispers, blinking away tears.

Jane sits up and touches her nose to the blonds, caressing her cheek, and looking deep into hazel eyes. "I thought I was going to lose you both," she admits. "I-I don't want to think about what it would have done to you if..." She pauses, taking a deep breath to steady herself. In a broken whisper she finishes, "I would have lost you both."

Maura's eyes soften as she understands Jane's fear. She slides her arms around Jane's slender waist and presses her ear to her heart. Jane pulls her in closer and rest her chin on Maura's head. "Darling, you will never lose me. I will always be here. As long as I have you, as long as I can come home to you, everyday, you will never lose me." She runs her fingers down Jane's back in a soothing manner. "You're the reason I came back. You are the reason that I was able to get up in the morning after-"

Jane squeezes her tighter and pulls her down onto the couch so that she is laying on top of the brunette. She runs her hand down her waist and lets it rest on her barely bulging belly.

Maura leans up to kiss her cheek and snuggle closer. "I promise, I will always come back to you."


	27. Chapter 27

**So I realize that it is not yet Christmas, but I figured most of you (and myself) would be far too busy on Christmas to read an update. If not, great, if so, you're welcome.  
And I _believe_ this is the chapter most of you have been waiting for. Tell me what you think ;) And h****appy holidays everyone!**

* * *

"I'm going to ask you one last time before everyone gets here. Are you _completely _sure you want to do this?" Jane asks her girlfriend. They are standing in the kitchen pulling out pots and pans in preparation for Christmas dinner with the Rizzoli's. Maura places a lasagna pan on the stove and turns to face Jane, smiling.

"Yes, I am completely sure. Although, you sound rather apprehensive." She moves closer to Jane and wraps her arm around her midsection, their hip bones touching as she leans back to keep eye contact.

"No! I'm totally fine with it. I just wanted to remind you, there's no going back after this. She is gonna watch you like a hawk, you're going to have your own personal Angela Rizzoli shadow."

Maura giggles, "well, we have to tell her eventually, and it is only getting more and more difficult. She is remarkably observant of my behavior."

Jane lets out a snort. "Yea, that plus the fact that you've gotten so f-"

Maura's eyes turn icy, and she shoots her a warning look that makes her blood run cold. Jane she decides not to finish her sentence, and she flashes a dimpled grin and bats her eyelashes before Maura pulling in for an unnecessarily passionate kiss.

Maura pulls away after a few seconds, and Jane thinks she's off the hook.

No such luck.

"You better watch yourself, Rizzoli, or the only thing you get to unwrap tonight is your gift." Maura whispers against her neck, grabbing Jane's earlobe between her teeth and giving it a little tug.

Jane's eyebrows shoot up, and she clears her throat before attempting to grovel. "What I was _going _to say, was that you've gotten so f...reaking beautiful! I mean, come on babe, you're glowing brighter than the tree."

"Nice try."

Maura detaches herself from the brunette and walks back over to the stove, and Jane can't help but stare at her as she goes. It's true, no doubt, that Maura has gained weight. But it's in _all _the right places. Her waist is still as small as it always was, but her hips have widened significantly, giving her an hourglass figure and a heart shaped ass that turns Jane to mush just at the sight of it. Her face has rounded ever so slightly, and her cheeks are a constant rosy pink, flushing with estrogen. Her breasts have also gotten larger, though not a lot. They would get bigger though, Maura had assured her, and she couldn't wait for that either. And of course, her stomach was sporting her fourteen week old fetus. She could no longer wear anything tight, even some of her work skirts were too small now. Jane had promised her, as a Christmas gift, to spend an entire day next week shopping for her new maternity clothes she so desperately needed.

"Jane?" Maura says from the other side of the kitchen. "Jane!"

"Huh, what?" Jane mumbles, her attention ripped back to reality.

"You're staring again." Maura is attempting to reprimand, but she wears a lustful smirk. She secretly loves it when she catches Jane staring. It makes her feel just a little bit sexier knowing that, despite the fact that she has gained ten pounds, her body can still undo Jane completely.

"Oh, sorry." Jane says automatically, moving closer to Maura as though a magnetic force is pulling her there. "Actually, you know what? I'm not sorry, not sorry at all. I could stare at you all day, I _will _stare at you all day. Because you're mine, and you're perfect." She moves closer and closer with each word, "and I never want to take my eyes off you."

Maura takes a step back as Jane advances, her backside coming in contact with the kitchen counter, preventing her from moving any farther. Not that she doesn't like where this is going, but she knows _exactly _where this is going. She can see it in Jane's eyes, that predatory look that Maura knows means that she is about to pounce, but the family will be here any minute, and they still have so much to do.

Jane puts a hand on the counter on either side of Maura, trapping her in. Maura's heart is hammering against her chest as Jane lets her lips linger just over her own, warm breath igniting the air between them, Jane's breathing is getting shallow.

Maura sighs, "Jane," but the brunette doesn't hear her. She slowly closes the gap between them and starts sucking on Maura's bottom lip. Maura moans a little, seriously considering risking another awkward interruption by a Rizzoli, or in this case, all the Rizzoli's.

She lets Jane work her magic on her mouth for a few more seconds before using all her will power to pull them apart.

"They are going to be here any minute, and we still have things to do." She informs, a little out of breath. As she speaks, she keeps her eyes on Jane's mouth. Maura bites her lip to prevent herself from lurching forward and claiming it.

"I say," Jane says in a voice that is pure sex and honey, "we do that later. Rizzoli's are famously late for everything, we'll have time." She gives Maura a wink, and the blond suddenly feels weak at the knees. Jane wraps her arms around her and starts pulling them back towards the bedroom, placing feather light kisses on her neck as they walk blindly.

Just as they reach the bottom of the stairs, the doorbell rings. Maura looks at the front door and laughs, "saved by the bell." She places one last kiss on Jane's pouting face and goes to answer it. Jane groans in frustration, but follows.

"Wait!" Jane hisses just as Maura's hand grabs the doorknob.

She freezes and turn around, "What?"

Jane points to her stomach, and she looks down. "Oh!" Maura gasps, "I forgot! That would've been bad, thank you honey."

She was still wearing the tank top she had worn to bed, not having a chance to change into her specifically picked out Christmas outfit before Jane became a distraction. The tank top was tight, too tight. Her bump was blatantly obvious, and they didn't wan to ruin the surprise tonight.

"Seriously? You _forgot?" _

Maura shrugs apologetically and hustles up the stairs as Jane goes to answer the door.

"Hey! Merry Christmas sweetheart! How are my favorite girls doing this lovely morning?" Angela is beaming, Christmas is her all-time favorite holiday, and everyone knew it.

"Hi, Ma. Merry Christmas." Jane answers, receiving a sloppy kiss on both cheeks.

"Hey Janie," Frankie says as he walks through the door behind his mother with a handful of gifts.

"Hey little brother, need a hand?"

"Nah it's good, I got his. Tommy might need some help though, he's getting the rest of the gifts out of the car."

Jane rushes out to help him, and Maura finally comes back down stairs. She is wearing tan slacks, and a white blouse that is loose is the middle and falls just below her tailbone, it is also effectively hiding the fact that a safety pin is keeping her pants closed. The button wouldn't reach around her belly.

"Ah, there she is! Merry Christmas Maura!" Angela rushes over to her and plants a kiss on her cheeks as well, though unlike Jane, Maura returns them. "Thanks again for letting us do Christmas here, I know we're a bit of a handful."

"Oh please, Angela, it was my pleasure. I wouldn't have it any other way."

The Rizzoli siblings trudge back into the house and Angela fills up a pot with water before starting up the stove. Maura makes herself busy cutting vegetables and grading cheese, while the boys watch T.V. Jane moves back and forth between the two, but seems to be favoring the living room.

"Maura, dear. Do you have a spaghetti strainer anywhere? We're going to need it for the pasta" Angela asks, glancing around the kitchen but not seeing one herself.

"Yes, I'll get it." Maura pushes a chair up against the dishwasher, and steps up to reach a cabinet well above her head. Even with the help of the chair, she is still just a few inches too short. So she pushes her self up onto her toes, tilts the chair just a bit, and extends her arm as far as it will go into the cabinet.

At that moment, Jo Friday decides to start running laps around Angela, begging for the sauce that was making the whole house smell simply delectable.

"Hey Jo, enough!" Jane shouts as she walks into the kitchen and shoo's her away. Jo backs away from Angela, but bumps hard into Maura's chair.

Maura gasps as the chair wobbles and she looses balance.

"Jesus!" Jane shouts, bolting with lightning speed over to her girlfriend just in time to catch her in her arms as the wooden chair falls sideways, crashing to the ground.

Three heads turn to face the commotion.

"Oh my god, are you alright Maura?" Angela asks, concerned.

Maura takes a moment to catch her breath, but replies, "yes, yes I'm alright. I'm fine, I just...lost my footing." But Maura's attention is focused on the woman still holding her.

Jane's eyes are filled with such worry that it startles her. They scan over the woman in her arms, lingering on her belly. "Maura, you _have_ to be careful." She tells her, her tone as serious as ever.

Maura nods and puts her hand on Jane's heart. "I know, I know sweetie. I'm sorry. I'll be careful, I promise." She gives her a light smile, "nice catch."

Jane doesn't smile back, she considers her for a moment, but nods and accepts the truth of her words. Placing a gentle kiss on her cheek before setting her on her feet. "Go sit down, please. Relax. I'll help Ma." She gives Maura a light pat on the butt in the direction of the living room for encouragement.

Angela notices the strangeness of the altercation, but decides against pursuing a conversation about it.

Maura takes a seat on the couch next to Frankie, and tucks her feet underneath her. Jo Friday jumps up next to her and lays her head on Maura's thigh, almost as an apology.

Jane finishes the vegetables, and pulls out the spaghetti strainer (needing nothing other than her arms), leaving the kitchen only to bring Maura a glass of water and a bowl of grapes to munch on.

"You know," Maura whispers in Jane's ear when she leaned down to put the bowl in her lap, "grapes are fine, but what I _really _can't stop thinking about is Hot Cheetos."

Jane had to purse her lips together to stifle her laughter at this comment. She pecks Maura on the lips before heading back to the kitchen.

* * *

The food was excellent, as always, and everyone ate until it hurt, as always. No other uncomfortable and explainable situations happened, except for the awkward moment when Maura denied wine with her dinner. She received questioning looks from everyone at the table, but drank her sparkling cider as if nothing was different.

Frost and Korsak stopped by for after dinner drinks, but soon had to leave. Both had unfortunately picked up the 'after Christmas' shift, which Jane had requested off to spend more time with Maura. After the incident last week, Maura had requested the two weeks between Christmas and new years off from work. Jane had tried to do the same thing, but was only able to get Christmas eve, Christmas day, new years eve, and new years day off.

"Okay, present time!" Angela said, standing up from the head of the table and clapping her hands once.

Everyone stood and made themselves comfortable around the tree, Jane and Maura sat next to each other on the couch, the blonds legs thrown over the detectives, and their hands intertwined.

Tommy gets a new sweater from Angela, a new suit and tie from Frankie, and Red Sox tickets from Jane and Maura.

Frankie also gets a new sweater from Angela, a new car radio from Tommy, and a new kit belt from Jane and Maura.

"Janie, what did you get Maura?" The elder Rizzoli inquires.

"Uh, I'm giving Maura her gift later, Ma." Tommy wolf whistles and Frankie slaps him up-side the head. "Shut up! It's not like that," Jane says, turning to Maura. "I promise babe, it's nothing you've already seen before."

Maura giggles, but gives her a light swat on the arm. "Good."

"Alright, Ma. It's time for your present." Jane smiles from ear to ear and glances at Maura, who is grinning just as wide and nodding enthusiastically for Jane to get the gift.

Jane stands and reaches far behind the tree, pulling out a little red card with Angela's name written in cursive on the front.

She hands her mother the card and returns to her place next to Maura, who is sitting up now, eagerly leaning forward in anticipation. Angela slides her finger along the opening and tugs until it rips open. She pulls out the card and opens it.

And immediately almost drops it.

She throws her hand up to her heart and her mouth hangs open as she reads the words, and looks at the picture.

More specifically, their most recent ultrasound picture.

**_Dear Grandma,  
Merry Christmas! We love you so much._**

**_Love,  
The three of us._**

"Mom?" Jane tries, when Angela has been literally speechless for a solid 60 seconds.

"What the hell did you give her, Janie?" Tommy asks, he and Frankie both stand and look over their mothers shoulder.

"Holy shit." Frankie says. And now all three of them are standing frozen in front of the two women.

"Oh dear," Maura says, suddenly expecting the worst.

On the contrary, Angela finally regains her speech and rushes forward, pulling Jane and Maura into a nearly bone crushing hug.

"I KNEW IT!" She bellows, tears of joy streaming down her face. "I knew it, I knew there was something...but I didn't actually think...Oh my god. Janie, my sweet babies!"

She kisses them both a hundred times before finally letting go, per Jane's request. "Careful with her, Ma," Jane tells her, laughing a little. "Precious cargo and all."

Angela finally turns her full attention to Maura, who has tears in her eyes and is smiling sweetly at all the excitement. She steps closer with her hand outstretched, "May I?" she asks timidly.

Maura nods, still smiling, and takes Angela's hand in her own before placing it gently on her stomach, pulling back on her shirt so her bump is more visible.

Angela makes a tiny gasp, and more tears fill her eyes. She opens her mouth to speak again, but simply cannot find the words. So instead she places a hand on Maura's left cheek, and kisses her right. Whispering in her ear just before pulling away, "Thank you."

Maura laughs lightly and wipes at her eyes, nodding.

"Have you felt him yet?" Angela asks, testing her hand on different areas of Maura's belly.

Maura's smile suddenly falters, and she bites her lip before answering, "uh, no. No not yet." She hadn't thought about that yet. Surely last time she had been able to feel her baby by this point in the pregnancy, right?

Jane steps up behind her and wraps her arms around the smaller woman's shoulders causing their cheeks to touch. Maura closes her eyes and leans into her, and Jane reassures, "we'll feel him soon enough, probably just shy."

Maura nods and turns to kiss the cheek pressed up against hers.

* * *

At the end of the night, Jane chooses the moment when Maura excuses herself for the restroom to explain to her family that this pregnancy is, and will continue to be extremely difficult. In a nutshell, she describes the scare they had last week, and asks them sincerely to try and help her make sure that Maura is as stress-free as possible.

The family agrees without trepidation, and when Maura returns, they say their goodbyes and restate their congratulations.

And now they're alone, just the two of them standing in the dim living room, the only light provided coming from the fireplace and the Christmas tree.

Maura takes Jane's hand and drags her back to the couch, where they sit facing each other with their legs crossed. "Are you ready for your present?" Maura asks quietly, running her finger along Jane's forearm. Jane waggles her eyebrows and lets her hands run up and down Maura's legs. "No! No, not that. I actually got you something." She laughs.

Jane just smiles and pulls her closer, Maura's legs on either side of her and sitting on Jane's lap. Jane gives her a short little kiss and Maura reaches behind her and pulls an envelope out of a couch cushion. She hands it to Jane, who smiles when she reads, "To My Love," written in Maura's cursive hand on the front.

She rips it open and slides out a brochure. On the cover is a breathtaking three story Vientiane Mansion with white shutters and blue trim, with a porch that wraps around the whole house, and a beach in the backyard.

"Oh...wow." Jane whispers, opening it and seeing more pictures of the eight acre lot. East side garden, north side forest, and a dock with a sailboat floating on the water.

"I figured, one of these days...maybe after the baby is born, we could get away." Maura says quietly, laying her head on Jane's collar bone as she watches her look at her gift. "Just you and me, rent a place up in the Hampton's right on the water, where we can spend all day in bed, or just do anything, together."

Jane turns to face her with tears in her eyes.

"Do you like it? If not we can always-"

"No! No Maura, this is perfect. I love you so much. This is incredible." She lowers her head to place a loving kiss on her girlfriends lips. "Thank you," she whispers.

Maura smiles into her mouth, "You're welcome." She stretches her back and Jane sees a flash of discomfort cross her face.

"Come on, lets get you in some p.j.'s. You're exhausted." They go to their bedroom, change out of their clothes, wash their faces, and crawl under the covers. While Jane was in the bathroom, she pulled out the little blue box she had been hiding under the sink. She gave herself one last good look in the mirror, took a deep breath, and muttered to herself, _keep it together Rizzoli._

Now, Jane throws the sheet over both their heads and scoots closer to Maura, their noses touching. "Ok, your turn. You ready?"

Maura nods, and she pulls the small box from behind her back. Maura's eyes go wider than Jane has ever seen them.

"Before you get too emotional to think, just listen." Jane says when she sees Maura cover her mouth in shock. "We've talked about marriage before, briefly, and hypothetically. And I'm not gonna lie, it kind of knocked the wind out of me." She chuckles nervously. "But you were right when you said 'all in good time.' So, my love, my gift to you is just that. Good time." She opens the box and reveals a white gold ring, no stone, but glimmering so bright it doesn't even need one. Maura gasps quietly and puts her other hand over her mouth too. "I-I know this is fast, and I know we're doing everything out of order, but I don't care. You said it yourself, we've wasted too much time with that in mind, I promise to marry you one day, Maura Isles. If you'll have me. I don't know when, or how, or where, and we don't even have to think about that anytime soon, but I will, in good time.  
I promise to love you fiercely, and completely, every second of every day. I promise to protect you and our baby with my life. I promise...I promise to let you have the last piece of chocolate cake, and-and let you watch the history channel even if the game is on. I promise to spend my life trying to make you happy, and to grow old with you, and love you just as much then as I do now. One day, Maura, one day...I want to make you my wife." She finishes her speech in a whisper, and tears brimming at the corner of her eyes.

Maura is full on bawling. Fat tears roll down her cheeks, biting her lip to keep from sobbing. Slowly, she starts to move her hands away from her mouth.

"So, Maur, will you marry me?" Jane's voice cracks as she asks the question that has been sitting on her lips all day.

Maura nods over and over again, opening her mouth to speak but what comes out instead is a tear filled laugh. She leans forward and plants her mouth firmly over Jane's, pulling her as close as humanly possible, their bodies flush up against each other, hot tears from both of them wetting their faces.

"Yes, yes yes, of course." Maura breathlessly mumbles into the detective's mouth once she finds her voice. "I love you, I love you so, so much, I want to marry you. I will marry you."

Never in her life has she been more confident about anything.

"You will?" Jane asks, pulling away to look into her red, puffy eyes.

"Of course! Yes, Jane, yes." She runs her hand down Jane's face and kisses the her growing dimples.

Without breaking eye contact, Jane pulls the ring out of the box and takes Maura's left hand.

Maura finally breaks their gaze when she feels Jane sliding the ring over her finger. She looks down at her hand, shining even in the darkness, as Jane kisses it before giving it back.

"I'll get you a real one, a better one, when I marry you. With...with a big diamond in the center a-and little ones all around. I'll let you pick it out, if you want."

But Maura just shakes her head, closing her eyes and bringing her left hand up to her heart. "This is a real one, I want this one. This one is perfect." She whispers.

Jane's heart swells, and she gathers Maura in her arms and plants a kiss on her forehead. "Merry Christmas Maura, I love you."

Maura snuggles closer and kisses Jane's chest, "I love you too darling, merry Christmas."

* * *

**So that was pretty fluffy, was it too fluffy? I felt like I might have over done it a bit there.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hope everyone had a good holiday! Expect some more drama after this chapter, and not the same kind of drama as last time, this time it might not be fixable. O_O dun dun duuunnn.**

* * *

Maura's hands were folded and resting under her belly as she waited patiently for the elevator to reach the precinct floor.

When the doors finally opened an she stepped out, the first person she saw was Frost. He glanced up from his desk when he heard the ding of the elevator, and gave her a smile and a wave. She returned it and, upon noticing that Lieutenant Cavanaugh was preoccupied in his office anyway, decided to go talk to Frost in the meantime.

"Hey doc, what brings you in today?" He asks when she takes a seat in Jane's empty desk chair.

"I came to talk to the lieutenant actually, but he seems pretty busy at the moment. Do you know where Jane is?"

"She went with Korsak to follow up on a lead."

"Why didn't you go with her? Aren't _you_ her partner?"

Frost chuckles lightly, "yeah, but their both completely lost when it comes to computer encryption's which is what I'm stuck doing."

"I see."

Maura sits in silence for a moment, sliding her feet out of her heels and kicking them under Jane's desk. She barely fit into them anyway, and should probably switch to flats now, but she couldn't resist buying a the pair of Dior pumps while she was shopping for strollers online two weeks ago.

"Barry, can I ask you something?" She asks quietly. He can tell by her use of his first name, and her now serious tone, that the matter of her question is personal. He puts down his pen and turns his chair to face her, offering his full attention.

"Of course, what's up?"

She bites her lip before leaning forward and scooting her chair closer to him. "Can you, um...can you just keep a closer eye on Jane for me? I'm not implying that she needs to be taken care of, it's just, make sure she doesn't try to be a hero, more of a hero than she already is, anyway. I know it sounds selfish of me to ask you this, but I'm worried about her...more than I used to be."

Frost stands up, walking over to his partners desk and leaning against it, right next to Maura. "The mama bear in you is already coming out," he jokes. "I can't wait to see Jane take up _that _role."

Maura smiles, "I can't wait either."

"I get where your coming from. She's the mother of your child, you love her, you don't want her risking her life any more that she already does on a daily basis."

Maura sighs heavily, "exactly."

Barry places a comforting hand on her shoulder, and it sags a bit underneath him. "Hey, don't worry about it, I'll keep her safe. I'll...I'll start kicking down the doors from now on, and going in first."

Maura offers a sincere smile and places her hand on top of the one on her shoulder, "you be careful too, Barry. It's not the kicking down doors that worries me the most anyway, I just...you know how Jane is. She would willing lay down her life for anyone, shoot herself to save her brother! Maybe it's my irrational, pregnant mind that constantly comes back to these past fears-"

"I worry about her too sometimes," Frost admits. "She's a good person who lives to protect, she puts her life on the line in more ways than one." He gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze before standing up, "don't worry doc, I got your back, and I got Jane's too.

Maura grins happily and leans forward to get up, but faces another problem. "Uh, Barry, one last thing." She says, and he turns back to face her as he was walking back to his desk.

"What's up?"

She looks at him timidly and shrugs, extending both her hands, "can you help me up?"

He lets out a bark of laughter, but nods, and taking her hands in his and gently pulling her into a standing position.

"Thank you," she breathes and pats his cheek affectionately.

"Don't mention it."

She hears an office door squeak open and turns around to see that Cavanaugh is available. She says goodbye to Frost and slides her shoes back on before making her way over to his door, knocking gently on the door frame before stepping inside.

"Lieutenant?"

He looks up from his desk, a smile momentarily flashes across his face, a pregnant Maura seems to have that effect on everyone. "Doctor Isles, what can I do for you?"

She walks up to the opposite side of his desk before pulling an envelope out of her purse and handing it over to him.

"What's this? I hope it's not your resignation."

"No of course not," she subconsciously takes the opportunity to sit down. Ever since the scare they had at thirteen weeks, she has been trying to sit down as much as possible. "It's a letter from the board of Medical Examiners stating that I am temporarily resigning from field work, but I will remain in the lab and still perform autopsy's." She and Jane had talked about this for a long time, and ultimately decided that the majority of her stress comes her field work. She was much safer and much more relaxed in her own environment.

The lieutenant opened the document and scanned the top page before nodding, "alright, looks good doctor. Thank you for dropping this off."

Another knock on the door turn both their attentions to the new body in the room. "Oh, Jane. I was just talking to Lieutenant Cavanaugh about my temporary leave."

The lanky detective strolls in and stands behind Maura's chair. "Great, I was wondering when you were going to get around to that. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, thank you for understanding, Lieutenant." Maura says in his direction, before holding her hands out to Jane, who immediately recognizes this gesture, and helps her to her feet.

"Not a problem Dr. Isles."

Jane keeps a hand on the small of her back as they make their way over to the elevators. "Are you excited?" the brunette whispers as they wait for the doors to open.

"Ecstatic, are you?" Maura smiles, and takes the momentary opportunity of privacy to place a late hello kiss on Jane's lips.

"Yup, still sure you want to know the sex?"

Maura nods and places a hand on Jane's chest, "I need to know everything." She answers quietly.

Jane kisses her head as they step out of the elevator and make their way to the car.

"So, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but is it me or are you bigger than last time? I mean, your only nineteen weeks but I have never seen you this...round, before." Jane says, steeling a glance in the blonds direction.

Maura rolls her eyes but smiles, "yes, the baby is growing a little on the large side, but everyone is different."

Jane takes her right hand off the wheel and places it on Maura's protruding belly, "We got a big bubba in there, don't we?" She says affectionately.

Maura giggles, she loves when she sees this side of Jane, soft and sweet and a total ball of mush.

"Any movement yet?" Jane asks with the same loving tone.

"Not yet," Maura answers.

"Well then we have a bashful bubba, my genes must not have won." Jane laughs.

"I'm sure they did, just not in the social aspect. It did say in the donor's file that he was slightly introverted," Maura shrugs.

Jane takes Maura's hand and kisses it, "I'm fine with that, makes him more like you."

Maura smiles and reaches back into the pouch on the back of her seat, pulling out a vanilla colored file with, "Donor #477" written on the front.

"You keep that in your car?!" Jane snorts.

"Of course I do! Sometimes I like to better acclimate myself with the donor by reexamining the file and factoring in your genetic identity to to better estimate what the baby will look like."

Jane just laughs and shakes her head, "whatever you say google-mouth. What'd you find out so far?"

Maura beams at Jane's interest and flips open the file, pulling out the picture of the donor and propping it up on the dashboard. He was actually quite handsome, with strong facial features, stunning green eyes, and light blonde hair in a JFK style cut. "Well, we know that he's an oncologist, and he studied at Princeton. Also his hobbies include swimming, playing the cello, and painting. I hope some of his artistic abilities were passed on to the baby, can you imagine? Our little Picasso." She rubs her stomach and looks at Jane.

"I hope so too, I can't even draw stick people." The brunette laughs as they pull into the doctors office.

"Hm, that's strange." Maura muttered as Jane cut the engine.

"What's strange?"

"I-I don't know how I didn't notice this before. The section of the forms that holds the patients genetic history and abnormality tests is blank. Hm..."

Jane quirked an eyebrow, "so, that means, what exactly?"

Maura shook her head once and closed the file. "I'm not sure, we'll have to ask when we get in there. Help me out?" She opened the car door and swung her legs out, but remained seated until Jane came around to lift her steadily to her feet.

The detective placed a tender kiss on her lips before taking her hand and walking towards the building.

...

"Jane, can you tie this? I can't- I can't get my arms around."

Jane looks up to see her girlfriends arms flailing around behind her back in an attempt to tie her gown, she chuckles and replaces the struggling fingers with her own just as the doctor knocks once and steps in.

"Hello again, how are we doing today?" Harrison asks.

"Were good, now that her ass isn't flapping in the wind," Jane jokes.

Maura gives a tiny gasp and smacks Jane's hand away. "It was not _flapping in the wind."_ She argues, "I'm still wearing pants, Jane. If anything it would be my spine that was-"

"You know what I meant, babe."

The ME hoists herself up onto the table and lays back, lifting up the gown and sliding down her pant to just above her pubic line.

"You are 19 weeks, correct?" Harrison verifies.

"Twenty on Tuesday." Jane answers, the excitement in her voice evident.

"I understand you are interested in knowing the sex?" The doctor asks as she squirts on the ultrasound goo.

"Yes! And also, before I forget," Maura reaches for her purse and pulls out the donor file. "I was reviewing this and I noticed that the genetic history section has been left blank. Do you know why that would be?"

"Hm," the doctor says, taking the file from her patient. "That is strange, I don't know why that would be. I'll have it looked into immediately."

"Thank you."

A moment passes and Jane is drawing lazy circles on Maura's arm, leaving behind goosebumps that make her giggle.

"Alright...here's the baby." Dr. Harrison says, and both women's head snap up to the screen.

Maura's face softens, "oh, sweetie, he has your chin!" She giggles happily

Jane squints her eyes and looks closer, "yea, kinda. He's got your head though, look at that thing, it's huge!" They all laugh.

The doctor moves the ultrasound lower, and Maura gasps, her hand flying to her mouth and tears brimming her eyes. Dr. Harrison gives a soft smile and looks up at her patient. "You see it, Dr. Isles?"

Maura nods once, her eyes wide and still glued to the screen.

"What? See what?! The sex?!" Jane babbles. "Oh, you know don't you! Tell me, tell me!"

Maura tears her watery eyes away from the image of their baby, takes Jane's hand in both of hers and blows three kisses on it. "Baby, we're having a..."

* * *

**I'm an awful person, I know. **


	29. Chapter 29

Maura choked back a tear filled laugh. "A boy," she whispers into Jane's hands. "We're having a little boy."

Jane is silent, and she sits slack jawed with her eyes darting back and forth between the black and white image, and her girlfriend's eyes.

"Jane?" Maura asks, moving one hand to Jane's cheek in an attempt to rouse her. "Honey?"

"A...a boy. A b-baby boy." Jane mumbles.

Both Maura and the doctor chuckle, "Yes, darling." She pulls Jane in for a soft kiss, "a baby boy."

Jane's mouth cracks into a wide grin, and suddenly she is laughing. "A BOY!" She shouts. Grabbing Maura's face with both hands and crashing their lips together for a searing kiss.

Maura smiles and laughs into her mouth, sliding her hand up Jane's cheek to wipe away her tears. Their foreheads and noses touching, they keep their hands on each others faces and Maura whispers, "we're having a son."

Jane laughs again and they suddenly remember that they are not alone. They both look up at Dr. Harrison who is smiling sweetly, both at the news and love that is so obvious between the two women.

"A big boy, by the looks of it. I'd say about 11 ounces." She stands and hands Maura a towel to wipe off the goo. "I'll go print up some copies of the ultrasound, and Maura I'll try to find out why some of the donor file was left blank." She shakes their hands and congratulates them before stepping out.

"Oh my god, Maur. A _boy._"

"I know, I know. it's...it's incredible." Maura answers with a hand over her heart.

"I can't wait to tell Ma. Oh! And Frankie is gonna be so jazzed, so will Tommy, and Frost too!" Jane squeals.

"Sweetheart, lets wait to tell everyone until after next week, alright?" Maura said, a little apprehensively.

"Oh-okay, sure. Why?"

The ME sighed and rubbed her face with one hand. "It's just, I've never made it this far, okay? Once...once I'm past twenty weeks I think I'll feel a little bit more secure in this pregnancy," she closed her eyes for a moment, "just to be safe."

Jane's heart sunk a little and she lifted Maura's hand, running a thumb over it and kisses her ring, which she hadn't taken off since Christmas. "It's gonna be OK, Maur. I know it, I can _feel _it, you know? Baby, this is our _son." _She ran her free hand over the swell of Maura's stomach. "This is our son, and he's going to be perfect. He's going to be incredible, and smart, and funny. I'm gonna teach him how to hit a ball, and I'm sure Frankie will teach him how to eat like a slob when he's watching baseball," both woman chuckle. "And you, Maura, you are going to teach him all about...cell division, and space engineering, or something. He's gonna learn so much from you. He's gonna be perfect."

Maura runs her hand along Jane's face, tracing her lips with a finger. "I love you so much," she whispers.

"I love you too baby."

Unfortunately, the truth in Jane's words would dissolve with the news that Dr. Harrison brought them ten minutes later. She stepped in to the exam room looking solemn, and the joy in both women's faces fell away.  
Apparently, the doctors office had fallen victim to a scam. Recent reports showed that many men who donated their sperm for money were doing it even though they didn't pass the genetic markers test. Men who tested positive for a number of genetic diseases, like Huntington's, Tay-sachs, Leber's congenital amaurosis, and many more, were falsifying their documents so they could sell their sperm.

"Wha- what does that mean then, f-for us." Jane asks quietly, suddenly feeling weak at the knees and taking a seat next to Maura.

"Well," the doctor began, "we will have to run some tests to find out exactly what we're dealing with here. We will test the sperm sample that you two used, and we will schedule an amniocentesis for as soon as possible."

"NO!" Jane suddenly shouted, causing the doctor and Maura to jump. The detective stood up and walked up to Dr. Harrison, her finger pointed menacingly, tears threatening to spill. "We need to do it NOW! Haven't we been through enough?! Hasn't _MAURA _been through-"

"Jane," Maura whispers as she closes her eyes, and a tear slides down her cheek as she holds her stomach. "Please."

Jane sighs, the sound of Maura's pleading voice was the only thing that could have stopped her rant. "Doctor Harrison, please. We need this done as soon as possible."

"I will call you as soon as we know what we need to test for," she lays a gentle hand on Jane's shoulder. "I promise."

Jane nods and the doctor leaves. She helps a slightly shaky Maura off of the table and into her clothes before making their way home.

When they walk through the door, Maura sits herself quietly on the couch, her hands haven't left her stomach since the doctor told them...  
Jane walks into the kitchen, planning on getting a beer from the fridge, but suddenly not having the energy she instead sighs heavily before putting her elbows on the counter and sinking her face into her hands.

A soft sob makes her look up, only to see that Maura is crying quietly, hands slowly rubbing up and down her belly, her head hung low.

Jane stays still, not sure if she can handle this situation any more than Maura can.

"We'll sue," she says from the kitchen, her voice hoarse. "We'll sue the whole doctors office, and the-the man, whoever he is, we'll find him and s-sue him for everything he has." She takes a shuddering breath and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"Who will that help?" Maura says almost inaudibly from the living room. "What's the point?"

Jane straightens herself and slowly walks to the couch, "It'll help me, knowing those asshole won't get away with this, or do it again to anyone else," she answers her voice cracking slightly. "And I think It'll help you too."

Maura's head snaps up to meet Jane's gaze. "It won't help me. The only thing that will help me is to know that this baby," she takes a breath before whispering, "our baby, will be OK. That he'll be perfectly healthy." A soft sob ends her sentence.

"Well, we're still suing those bastards." Jane says defiantly.

"No, Jane."

"Maura, do you _realize _what they have done to us? To you!? They've put our family on the line, Maur! There are so many things, so many _awful_ things our baby could have. Our child is potentially dy-" she stops herself. The look in Maura's eyes makes her want to drop to her knees and beg for forgiveness for causing it. A mix of fear, longing, sadness, worry...and seething anger. She stands slowly, using the back of the couch as a crutch to lift her body into a standing position.

"Do I...realize? Are you kidding me, Jane? You don't think I UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS?!" She screeches, one hand grasping her stomach tightly and the other supporting her back as she slowly steps closer to the detective. "Trust me, I know EXACTLY what this means. This is every single fear I have had since the goddamn BEGINNING of this pregnancy! Since the beginning of the last one! Except I wasn't so lucky last time, was I?!" Tears fall down her face and she makes no effort to try and hide them anymore.  
"The real question is, Jane, do _you, _understand what this means!" She pokes Jane hard in the chest, "Cystic Fibrosis, our baby may never be able to breath on his own and could die during _INFANCY!_ Tay-Sachs, he could die a slow, p-painful death by the time he's f-five!" Her voice gets weaker, and she struggles to continue. But she _needs _to do this, to say this to Jane. To finally express the list of fears and all-too-possible conditions that their baby is now threatened with. "Down Syndrome! Autism! Lebers congenital amaurosis, Jane! Our baby could be BLIND!"

"STOP!" Jane screams, taking a step back with her arms outstretched defensively, and her eyes shutting tightly against her own tears.

Maura quickly turns away from Jane and covers her face with her hands, trying to subdue her now loud, ugly sobbing. Without turning around, she croaks out, "I f-fully understand J-Jane, I-I realize, but even i-if we sue, it w-won't ch-change anything!"

Jane slowly brings her hand up to Maura's shoulder, but she shrugs it off. "Don't," she warns, and starts walking back to the couch.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, MAURA!" The brunette yells, making Maura flinch, her back still turned to her. "What can I do?! I can't- I can't promise you that this will all go away! I can't do ANYTHING! I'm not in this like you are, Maura! I'm not the pregnant one here! I'm not the one who lost a baby, I don't know what this feels like for you! I only know what it feels like for me, and for me, this will help!" She swiftly turns back to the kitchen and grabs her keys and jacket off the counter.

Maura finally turns around when she hears the keys scrape against the counter, and jingle musically as they are lifted. With wide eyes she watches as Jane walks to the front door, stopping just before opening it. "I need...I'll be back later. Don't wait up." Then slams the door behind her.

Maura falls back onto the couch, her mouth slightly opened, trying to process exactly what just happened. She hears the engine start, and the tires crunch along the gravel of the driveway before screeching on to the street and disappearing.

Only then, when she know Jane is truly gone, does she let herself completely fall apart. She curls up in a ball, as much as her pregnant belly will allow, and buries her face hands. Crying loudly and shaking with the force of her sobs. She runs one hand along the bottom of her belly, "I'm sorry baby," she moans quietly, "I'm so sorry."

She leans back against the couch, one hand still over her eyes as she rubs her stomach.

Suddenly she gasps loudly, the hand on her face shooting to her abdomen. She rubs it again, not sure if she imagined what she just felt. But there it is again, the familiar pressure, and little patter against her hand. "Oh," she gasps again.

A small smile appears on her lips, and the first thing she thinks of is Jane.

_Jane._

And suddenly she is crying again, because the one person she wants to share this with, the one person who should be experiencing this with her, isn't here. She just wants Jane.

* * *

**So as always, tell me what you think, reviews are always welcomed and appreciated. However, I also wanted to get you guys' opinion on the fight Jane and Maura had, who do you think was in the right? **


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey everyone, I know the drama of last chapter ruffled a few feathers, but it's fanfiction...drama is evident, if not expected ;) I really loved all of your reviews and can't thank you guys enough for sticking with me throughout this story. I am truly touched that this story has gotten so much positive feedback, and I am thankful for such incredible followers. I love you all!  
Enjoy, lovelies.**

* * *

It is 1:00 am when the front door creeks as it is opened slowly, and Jane inches her way into the dark house. "Maura?" She whispers, poking her head into the living room.

Nothing.

Grateful that her girlfriend took her advise when she said not to wait up, Jane starts up the stairs. Shrugging off her jacket as she reaches the bedroom, she pauses, her head pressed against the cool wood of the door. _I really messed up this time. _She thinks to herself.

She takes a deep breath to gather herself, and opens the door.

Maura is laying on top of the comforter in her flannel maternity pajamas. Arms curled into her chest, and tissues scattered all around her, one still clamped in her fist. Among them is the opened donor file. Dry tear marks stain her face, and she is shivering. Jane's heart breaks a little. _W__hat have I done to her._

She slowly shuffles her way through the dark bedroom and undoes her belt before sliding it out of the loops and dropping her pants. She climbs on the bed with just her boy short underwear and white tank top, curling up behind Maura and wrapping her arms around her belly. She nuzzles her face in the back of her neck and kisses it. The blond's eyes flutter open and she does not move or speak, but Jane can tell she's awake.

"I'm so sorry, Maura." She whispers in a husky voice, "I shouldn't have said all that. I shouldn't have left-"

Maura stops her and shakes her head, sliding her hand over the detectives and guiding it over a different part of her belly. "I felt him," she says quietly. "He kicked."

Jane could cry. She can't believe she missed it.

"He...he did?" She says in an unsteady voice.

Maura nods shutting her eyes and trying to repeat the same rubbing pattern she had done before that had caused the baby to kick. Jane sits in silence, letting her girlfriend test out her hand on different parts of her stomach. Finally Maura exhales, a little frustrated, and turns around. Easing her bulging abdomen up gently before laying on her opposite side.  
This does the trick, just as she thought it would. The sudden change in position causes the baby to kick angrily against her liver, she winces slightly but opens her eyes to see the reaction on Jane's face. As mad as she may be with her, she didn't want to miss this moment.

The brunette's eyes are watery, and she bites back her smile. Cocking her head to the side a bit and looking at Maura lovingly. "Maur..." she coos.

Maura's face remains stony, and she turns back on her other side away from Jane. "We are very different, Jane." She says quietly, "we feel things, we react to things...differently." She could go on and on about the statistics of lasting relationships between couples who are psychologically opposite, how their attributes both compliment and confuse each other. But instead she says it as simply as it really is, conveying her own feelings towards the situation as much as she can. "You live to protect, to punish. To bring justice. You were born to fight, and I love you for that- I do, but I'm not like that, Jane. I'm not. God I still can't believe I missed it." She exhales a shaky breath, silently still damning herself for not noticing the mistake with the file, before continuing. "I...I heal. I want to heal the situation, without bringing harm to any one. Call it the doctor in me, but ruining the lives and careers of our physicians with a lawsuit, it won't bring me any peace. But I love you. I love you and I want you to be happy too. I want to show you that I can be there for you just as much as you've been there for me." She leans back into Jane and closes her eyes against her tears. "If...if it really will help you, we can discuss taking legal action." she says, swiping a hand under her running nose.

"No, Maura you were right, and if it hurts you that much then I don't ever want to take legal action." Jane rubs Maura's arm comfortingly.  
"I shouldn't have said all that about," she sighs heavily. "About not being in this like you were. That was mean, that was really mean and I shouldn't have said it." Maura bites her bottom lip to keep it from quivering. "I am in this, in every way possible. I_ want_ to be in this, I don't want you to have to feel that way anymore. To always be so worried, I want to carry the weight for you, so badly, but I got scared. Shit got real and I got scared, and when I get scared I get protective, and a little aggressive."

Maura gives the faintest of smiles and reaches back to stroke Jane's cheek. "I shouldn't have shouted, spewed off all those statistics. I guess when I get scared I get factual. That must have been awful to hear," she whispers, "I'm so sorry I scared you."

"No baby, it wasn't you that scared me." Jane answers sweetly, pushing honey blond hair behind the smaller woman's ear when she releases a soft, squeaking sob.

She quickly climbs over Maura's body and gathers her in her arms on the other side, placing delicate kisses all over her face as she cries.

"I was an ass. It's my own stupid fault,"

"We were both stupid." The blond admits.

"I ran. I shouldn't have left. I'm so sorry sweetie."

Maura shudders and breaths against her chest, she wants to pull away out of anger, but she can't. She is finally getting the contact she so craved only hours ago. "I needed you. Please don't leave ag-gain." She ends in a hiccup.

"I won't, I won't I promsie. God, I'm such an ass. I won't leave, I'm never leaving."

Finally feeling reassured, Maura drops her hands to her stomach, Jane's hands not far behind. "I'm scared, Jane."

"I know, baby." Jane croaks, "I'm scared too."

* * *

After a long night of tears and apologies, Jane awake's in the late morning to an empty bed. She runs her hand along Maura's side, it's still a little warm. Her brain finally registers the sound of the shower running.

She kicks off the sheets and makes her way over to the bathroom, determined to apologize for last night in a whole different way now. She still hates herself for the way she reacted to their fight, and is so willingly ready to get down on her hands and knees to do whatever she needs to make it up to her. Maybe spending half an hour worshiping her beautiful child-bearing body will further reassure Maura.

She disrobes as she steps into the bathroom, and opens the shower door in her birthday suit. The steam dissipates and she stands in front of an angry looking Maura, who has her arms wrapped around her body and is turning away from Jane.

"Jane!" She gasps.

"What?!" Jane answers, honestly confused at her sudden modesty.

"Wait your turn!" Maura snaps, and reaches for the shower door to slam it shut.

Jane stands speechless behind the glass, "What...is going on? Is this about yesterday? I told you, sweetheart, I'm so so-"

"It's not about that!" Maura says a little louder than necessary.

"Then what?"

"I just don't want you to see me right now! I'm not...I just don't, okay?"

"Um...okay." Jane walks out of the bathroom and just throws on a tank top. She falls back on to the bed and curls up into a ball, shoving the sheets beneath her.

When the bathroom door finally opens and Maura emerges, she lets out a little moan at the sight of the practically naked detective curled up in a fetal position, her...parts... on full display.

"You wanna tell me what that was about?" She mumbles, opening one eye.

Maura sighs and turns to the closet to pull out her outfit for the day. "I simply don't wish for you to see me naked is all." She answers matter-of-factly.

"Pshh," Jane scoffs. "Since when?" Even as she says it, she realizes it really has been a while since the last time they had sex.

Maura pulls out a pair of maternity jeans and a baseball tee and steps further into the closet, obscuring Jane's view entirely. "I...seem to not be completely comfortable with my physical appearance in my current state, and after everything that happened yesterday...I'm sorry but sex is just not the first thing on my mind right now, okay. I'm just really not in the mood." She scrubs her face with her hands.

"Okay, okay. That's fine, honey. I understand," Jane says comfortingly.

A soft, "thank you," comes from inside the closet. "Although, sex isn't my priority right now, I will always appreciate your body, and you are still very distracting when you lie around naked like that."

Jane smirks, and stretches her long limbs down the length of the bed, moaning with momentary pleasure. "Mmm...so I should probably put some clothes on then?"

"Probably."

"Alright."

Maura emerges from the closet, and Jane walks up to her, wrapping one arm around her waist and kissing her head. "You look beautiful," she whispers.

"I look enormous," Maura says a little sadly.

"Still beautiful."


	31. Chapter 31

"Are you sure you still want to go today?" The brunette asks as they walk to the car.

"Yes, this is a good distraction, it's helping me forget. Plus we've been putting this off for far too long."

Jane grumbles, "Yeah okay."

When they arrive at the baby store, Jane puts her hand on the small of Maura's back as they walk through the automatic doors. "Wow, this place is freaking huge." She comments, a little overwhelmed.

Maura notices and gets up on her toes to plant a kiss on her girlfriends cheek. "It'll be okay, we're just getting the necessities."

Necessities soon turned into the can't-live-with-out's and the so-adorable-I-could-just-die's, and Jane is following the blond around the store pushing an overflowing cart.

"Oh Jane, look! It's a little baseball glove!" She holds it up for Jane to see, "you said you were going to teach him how to hit a ball, oh and it's absolutely precious, we _have_ to get it," and she tosses it in the cart.

"Fine, but then we're putting back the mini stethoscope!"

Maura spins around as fast as her bulging belly will allow. "Jane! No! It's so cute, please?" She puts on her best puppy dog face, but it morphs into shock and excitement before she gets a chance to beg. She waddles as fast as she can up to Jane and snatches up her had, placing it low on her stomach. "He's moving, feel."

Jane puts both her hands on the swell of Maura's abdomen and concentrates, staying as still as possible so as not to miss even the tiniest kick. But there's no need, the baby pushes his elbow up hard right against Jane's hand, and she laughs a little sympathetically when Maura groans in discomfort but still tries to smile.

"That's incredible," Jane whispers. She lowers her head and puts her lips against her belly, "I love you, baby boy. Try not to hurt Mommy too much, okay?"

Maura's heart melts, Jane being this soft and vulnerable is so rare. In public, no less. She absolutely adores it. Maura pulls Jane's head back up to her own and kisses her tenderly on the lips.

"Whatever happens, Maur, I will always love him, and I will always love you."

Maura feels tears burn in the back of her eyes and takes a deep breath to push them away. Not trusting her voice, she just nods as Jane pulls her into a hug.

They suddenly pull apart at the sound of a snide voice coming from the other end of the aisle. "Ugh, if you are going to be perverse, at least do it in private. There are children here, get a room." Says a snobby, obviously homophobic stranger with long platinum blond hair and black heels, a little girl about five years old sitting quietly in her cart.

Maura is speechless, she wraps her arms protectively over her stomach and takes a small step behind Jane. The detective is balling her fists up so tight that her fingernails are digging into her palms.  
"Excuse me, what did you just say?" Jane hisses, and Maura's eyes go wide. She knows that voice, that's Jane's interrogation voice, and she knows instantly that this could get very ugly, very fast.

"I _said _get a room." The woman retorts, obviously not fazed by Jane's stink-eye. "It's bad enough that you are going to be exposing one child to your abominable ways, but there's no need to expose anyone else's kids." She gestures aggressively at Maura's belly.

Maura lets out a tiny gasp, and Jane is seething with anger. For the woman's own good, she take a hold of Jane's arm and pulls her back, not letting go until Jane is behind her. "Let me handle this," she whispers to the brunette, and when she is met with a reproachful look she adds, "please?"

Jane finally nods once and stays back as Maura walks towards the woman. "I'm so, deeply sorry Mrs..."

Jane's mouth opens slightly. _She'd better not be apologizing to this bitch..._

The woman squints her eyes menacingly, "Davidson..."

"Mrs. Davidson, I'm so, _so_ sorry... that you have never been properly educated about the ties between hetero and homosexual communities, and the statistics about lasting relationships and the successful parenting of same-sex couples. I'm sorry that you are so, incredibly ignorant, unintelligent, and naive. But what I am most sorry about," she glances at the toddler in the woman's cart, "is that you are tainting your child's education and intelligence as well. Your poor daughter is misunderstanding who the real abominable human is here, in this case, her own mother."

Mrs. Davidson's jaw drops, and she takes an involuntary step towards Maura. "How dare you," she spits. Even from a distance, Jane can see the rage building in this woman's eyes, and she decides now is a good time to intervene. The woman looked as if she was about to hit Maura, so without missing a beat, the brunette takes an exaggerated step between then and lets her handcuffs dangle from her finger.

"You might want to chose your next actions very carefully, ma'am." She flashes her badge, "Detective Jane Rizzoli, and the woman you were just about to threaten in Doctor Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner of the commonwealth of Massachusetts." A smug smile creeps over Maura's face as she pulls out her own badge.

The woman huffs, "I'm entitled to my opinions _detective. _Since when is it against the law to speak my mind?" She asks rudely.

Jane takes half a step forward, it's just enough to invade her personal space and for fear to flicker in her eyes for just a moment. "You are entitled to think anything you want, Mrs., but if I ever find out that you have insulted Dr. Isles or our child ever again, I will personally find any reason to have you thrown in jail, say maybe, a hate crime."

Jane's intimidation methods work, and she can almost see the woman shrinking below her. "Now leave, before I make you kiss her feet for being so damn rude."

The woman gives the most menacing glare she can muster, which in reality is nothing more than a smirk, and turns swiftly on her feet, pushing her cart away with more force than necessary. Just as Jane and Maura link hands and begin to walk away, a small, sweet voice causes them to turn their heads.

"G'bye!" shout the little girl in Mrs. Davidson's cart, craning her neck to look over her mothers shoulder at the two women, beaming and waving frantically.

Both women chuckle, and Jane waves back just as Maura blows the girl a kiss and says, "bye sweetheart."

In that moment, there is only one thing running through that little girls mind.

_I wanna be a detective when I grow up._

* * *

"Would you really have made her kiss my feet?" Maura asks seriously as she unlocks the front door.

"Are you kidding?" Jane answers a little breathlessly from the exertion of carrying six 'Babies R Us' bags at once, "I would have given me so much pleasure to watch that bitch bow down to you."

The blond giggles, "That's a little extreme don't you think...although it would have been rather entertaining."

Jane's proud laugh is cut short by the house phone ringing, and they both scramble inside a little faster to reach it in time. One look at the caller ID makes Maura gasp.

"Jane! Jane, it's them. It's Dr. Harrison's office."

The detective drops the bags to the floor and makes a b-line for her. They stand on opposite sides of the counter, leaning in towards the phone between them.

"You ready?" Jane asks quietly, reaching for her hand.

"As I'll ever be," and with that, she hits the green button.

"Hello?"

"Yes, this is Cindy Brennan calling from of Dr. Harrison's office. She has some test results she would like to go over with you, can you hold for a minute please?"

"Yes, yes I'll hold." Maura almost whispers, putting the phone on speaker, and Jane squeezes her hand a little tighter.

They wait in silence for another five minutes, with not even a "your on hold" jingle playing through the receiver to relieve the tension. Maura has subconsciously wrapped a protective arm around her tummy.

"Doctor Isles?" Comes the familiar voice of Dr. Harrison.

"Yes! I'm here, s-so is Jane." she answers quickly.

"Hello Detective, lets dive in shall we?"

"Please," Jane says.

"Okay, so we got the tests back from the sperm sample you used. I wan't you both to take a deep breath, and wait until I'm finished before you start jumping to conclusions, alright?"

Jane and Maura share slightly panicked expressions. "Out with it Doc, we started jumping a week ago." The brunette says quietly, eyes locked on Maura's.

With a sigh, Harrison says, "all the tests came back almost completely clean, except for one." She pauses before continuing, "the genetic marker for Tay-sachs came back positive." Maura lets out a small, defeated whimper. "But it doesn't mean anything unless Jane is a carrier, the disease needs two dominant genes to develop in a fetus. Jane, do you know if you are positive?"

Jane looks at her girlfriend, as if it was her who asked the question. "Uh, I don't know. I mean I know we did _some _genetic testing before we implanted, but I don't think we took one for Tay-sachs."

"It's not in my records that you ever did either. I have scheduled a nine o'clock appointment for tomorrow to get the test done, and if you'd like we can do Maura's amniocentesis at the same time, just to be more efficient."

"Yes." Both women say simultaneously.

"Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow. Try to relax, both of you. Stress isn't good for anyone, especially in situations like this."

Maura clears her throat. "Thank you, Alexis. We will see you tomorrow."

Click.

Jane walks over to Maura's side of the counter and wraps her arms around her from behind. Resting her chin on the blonds shoulder and linking her fingers together at the bottom of her belly, as if she is holding it up.

Maura lets out a heavy sigh and leans her head against Jane's, reaching an arm back to caress the detective's cheek.

They stand in the embrace quietly, letting the conversation they just had with Dr. Harrison sink in.

Finally, Maura drops her hand from Jane's face and turns around to face her.

"You know what Tay-sachs is, right Jane?" It's almost a whisper.

Jane clears her throat, "uh, yea. We had a case a few years back with a couple who had a baby who had it."  
Maura stays silent, knowing that Jane has left something out.

"But...I'm still not exactly sure what it's all about, I mean I _know, _but I don't. That doesn't make any sense, sorry." She says a little flustered, rubbing her face with one hand.

"No, no you made perfect sense." Maura tells her, reaching up to push back an unruly curl. "Come with me."

She takes Jan'es hand and leads her in to the study, finally letting go to run a finger along the spine of the books she has neatly lined up on her book shelf. Jane waits patiently until Maura finally slides out an exceptionally large, leather-bound book, and hands it to her.

"Tay-sachs will be under T." She tells her, and Jane slowly lowers herself onto an arm chair. Running a scarred hand over the cover before looking up expectantly at Maura.

The blond reads her mind and shakes her head once. "I'm going to go get dinner started," and with that, walks out. Leaving Jane to open the text with shaking hands, suddenly not sure if she ever wants to know exactly what this disease can do to their child.

Maura has to wait a whole twenty minutes before she can actually start dinner. Her eyes are too blurred with tears to see what she is doing.

* * *

**Review :)**


	32. Chapter 32

"Mm. Don't." Maura snaps in her sleep, swatting Jane's hand away from her waist and turning over in the bed. "Too hot."

Jane rolls her eyes and moves over to her own side of the bed. This has been happening every night for the past two and a half weeks, she's staring to get used to it.

Maura lays opposite her, sleeping on her right side in nothing more than an over sized t-shirt and underwear. A pillow is wedged between her legs, and her hand is resting on her belly. Jane just stares at her, her tiredness suddenly gone at the sight of her beautiful, pregnant, glowing, girlfriend, laying only a few feet away.

And completely off limits.

Maura has been feeling too fat to let Jane touch her for almost a month, despite Jane's constant insisting on how incredibly beautiful she is. But Jane knows it is more than just her appearance that is making her reluctant to be intimate. She is constantly sweltering, uncomfortable, achy, and ever since the baby finally started kicking, he hasn't stopped.

She now had to perform autopsies sitting down, since standing for that long has now become almost unbearable for her back, even in comfy shoes. Just walking to the elevator made her out of breath, and on more than one occasion Jane would find her sitting at her desk, holding her hair up with one hand and using the other to fan herself with the autopsy report she was delivering. It didn't help that the baby was sitting high in Maura's uterus. Not only constantly pushing up against her bladder, but also her lungs, making breathing a bit more challenging.

As Jane rolls on to her back, stretching her arms and pulling the sheet up, her mind wanders back to the day's events.

* * *

_Jane's eyes go wide when the doctor walks back in to the exam room, a eight inch needle in hand. _

_"Uh, is that, that's not..." she stammers, and Maura pats her hand._

_"No sweetie, that one's for me." She says, no emotion on her face._

_"Jesus," Jane mumbles quietly._

_The doctor places the needle and other instruments on a surgical tray before rolling it next to Maura's exam chair. "Okay, Maura we're going to do you first, then then we'll send in a nurse to take your blood, Jane."_

_They both nod._

_"Okay, can you lift your shirt please?" Maura lets go of Jane's hand and pushes her shirt up to rest on the shelf of her belly, while Jane slides down the top her pants a little lower. The doctor reclines the chair a little bit and places a comforting hand on Maura's shoulder. "Alright, I know you know how this goes, but I'm going to remind you to relax anyway. Take a deep breath, try to relax your muscles, and remember to stay as still as possible."_

_"Okay." Maura answers, leaning her head back and closing her eyes and she grips Jane's hand tightly._

_"Jane."_

_"Yea?"_

_"Don't watch her do it, look at me."_

_It takes a second, but Jane finally looks away from the needle hovering over her girlfriends belly and meets Maura's gaze._

_"Are you ready?" Harrison asks._

_"Yes," Maura answers, eyes still glued to Jane's._

_She feels the cold antiseptic get rubbed around the lower portion of her abdomen, and grips Jane's hand a little tighter, bracing herself._

_She tries as hard as she can to keep her face straight for Jane's sake, but when the needle finally pierces her skin, she can't help the gasp that escapes her lips, and Jane winces with her._

_Jane holds Maura's hand in between both of hers and brings it to her lips, "you're doing so good." She whispers, "she's almost done."_

_When the needle is finally removed, they both finally breathe again. Jane smiles and cups Maura's face, "good girl."_

_Maura smiles back. "Your turn."  
_

_Jane's needle is no where close to the size of Maura's, so even though she has a slight phobia, Jane feels that she has no right to complain after Maura was just punctured in the belly._

_She winces slightly, but the pain is only momentary, and they leave the doctors office with strict instructions of bed rest and the promise of fast results._

* * *

They had stayed home in bed for the rest of the day, catching up on "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and online shopping for car seats. It would have been a pretty perfect day if it wasn't for the overwhelming sense of dread that was looming over them both, even now as they slept. Maura's dreaming mind flashed with images of of the impending phone call bearing the bad news, and a few times, flashed back to a little gravestone titled "Baby Girl Isles".

Jane lay awake in her own thoughts, wishing she could wrap Maura up in her arms and hold her tight.

Instead she turns on her side to face Maura and scoots closer and closer, trying not to let her own body heat cause Maura to sweat any more than she already is.

She gets close enough that their faces are a few inches apart and runs her finger down the bridge of Maura's nose, smiling as it scrunches up.

"I love you," she whispers to the sleeping blond, and she sees a faint smile pull on her lips.

* * *

"Careful! Don't get any on the ceiling." Maura tells her, pointing with purpose at Jane from her seat on the floor of the nursery.

"I won't! Geez woman, you nag like my mother." Jane answers with a playful grin, wiping sweat from her brow and dipping the paint roller into the tray filled with baby blue paint.

Maura returns the smile and turns her attention back to her magazine. "Well someone has to, between you and our son there has got to be some sort of precautionary authority."

Jane laughs and climbs back up the ladder. "Good point."

She barely finishes two strokes before a hiss of pain makes her turn around. The magazine lies open in Maura's lap and she has one hand on her back, the other on the side of her belly. Sitting up straighter and arcing her back.

"You alright?" Jane asks quietly, already taking one step down the ladder.

Maura nods and waves Jane away, "yes, yes I'm fine. He's just..." She groans, "stretching."

Jane stares at her abdomen with wide eyes, she can very clearly see a little mound right under Maura's hand wiggling beneath the skin. "Holy crap." She says with a small chuckle. "That's freaky."

Maura raises her eyebrows and gives a sideways smile. "You should try _feeling_ it."

"Nope, I'm good. You are the only woman I've ever met who makes pregnancy look sexy, and beautiful, and stunning." She drops the roller and steps towards Maura, sitting down right in front of her. "That's why you have the babies."

"Babies?" Maura inquires wryly, "like plural?"'

"Eventually, yes." Jane leans in for a kiss. "Plural."

Maura grins widely at the idea, but scrunches up her face as Jane closes in. "Jane! Ew, you're all sweaty, and covered in paint!"

"Mm there used to be a time when my being sweaty turned you on." Jane settles for a kiss on the nose and takes Maura's hand in hers. "Remember the last day in my apartment?"

"Yes I do, but it's already sweltering in here and I might burst in to flames if you come any closer."

Jane quirks an eyebrow, "I'll take that as a compliment. Is he still stretching?"

Maura actually has to think about it, Jane (as always) had effectively distracted her from the discomfort long enough for it to become bearable. "Uh, a little. Here." Maura pulls her hand over to her stomach.

Jane's smile grows as she feels her son squirming around inside his mother. "What does it feel like?"  
The question slips out before she has a chance to stop it, or at least make it sound more casual, but her excitement is overflowing.

"It depends on what he's doing, I suppose." Maura answers patiently. "Like right now, when he's stretching, It kind of feels like a washing machine."

Jane laughs loudly, "like a what?!"

"I'm serious!" Maura giggles, "he's swirling around in there pushing and moving against the walls of my uterus. But when he's restless and he's just kicking for the hell of it, it feels like he's playing soccer with my bladder."

"Ouch, we got a little athlete in there don't we?" Jane says lovingly, lowering her lips to Maura's belly and kissing it softly.

Maura can't help but run her fingers gently through Jane's hair. After everything they've been through, her love for both Maura and the baby has been so unwavering. The blond suddenly can't believe her luck to be with someone so incredibly perfect.  
"Sometimes though, when he's calm, and it's like he just wants to say hi. It feels like, like a little tickle, sort of. Or a patter." She reflects Jane's sweet smile, and curls her fingers into the raven locks. "Almost like... a baby bird walking around, little feet tapping lightly."

"Mmm. Hi baby bird," Jane whispers against her belly.

Maura sniffles, and Jane lifts her head. "Aw, getting misty on me Mommy?" The brunette laughs lightly.

Maura laughs too and wipes at her eyes, "hormones."

Jane pecks her once, quickly and lightly, and pulls them both to their feet. "Well, you were right, it is a bit hot in here." She throws her hair up in a quick pony tail and moves to the window, throwing open the curtains and letting the light flood through before opening the window. "Let's let it air out in here, the paint fumes are bad for you anyway. You hungry?"

"Ugh, starving." Maura answers.

"Thought so, lets go eat."

They sit out in the back yard for an impromptu picnic, Jane's excuse to get Maura out of the house as the paint dried. The weather was beautiful, not a cloud in sight, the sun shining bright, but with a cool breeze so it wasn't too overwhelming.

Maura lays back on the blanket, her eyes closed against the sun, fingers locked behind her head.

Jane can't help but smile at how peaceful she looks, she hasn't looked this at ease for a long time. She lays down next to her, pushing aside the crust of Maura's peanut butter and dill pickle sandwich, and stares at her. Desperately wanting to touch her.

"Um, Maur?" She says quietly

"Hmm?" The blond answers, eyes still closed.

"Can...can I, hold you?"

Maura's eyes snap open and she turns her head to face Jane. The hesitance in Jane's words and the nervousness in her face cause guilt to wash through Maura heavily. Has she really been so insufferable lately? To the point where Jane needs to ask permission to touch her?

"Yes, yea of course, Jane." She moves closer to the detective, who grins widely and wraps an arm over her belly, nuzzling her nose into her neck. "I love you, Jane. You know that right?"

Jane nods, "I love you too."

They comfortably sit in the embrace for the remainder of the hour, talking about nothing in particular. The baby's potential illness has been their only topic of conversation for far too long, and it wasn't until today that Maura realized that it had actually caused a small rift between them. Jane had been being very cautious with her words and actions around her, and that's not what she wants. She wants them to be able to talk about anything and everything, and be honest about it, even if it may hurt.

The sound of the doorbell ringing brings them back to reality, and Jane kissing Maura on the forehead before heading back into the house to answer it.

She pulls a piece of grass out of her hair as she opens the front door.

it took Jane a moment to recognize her without her lab coat on. Dr Harrison stands there, her purse in one hand, and a file envelope in the other.

"Hello Jane." She says professionally, despite the fact that showing up to a patients house unannounced is anything but professional.

"Hey Doc, uh, what's going on?"

The doctor lifts up the hand with the file in it. "I got your results back, and I wanted to come and talk to you about them right away."

* * *

**I know, I know cliffhangers are the worst and most of you hate me right now already, but know this... I LIVE FOR RIZZLES HAPPINESS! And I promise you, PROMISE, that our girls will get everything they deserve. I'm a sucker for a happy ending.**  
**As always, I love your reviews, good or bad. Thank you all again for being such loyal readers. And happy new year!**


	33. Chapter 33

"Yea! Come in, p-please. Have a seat." Jane stumbles over her words as she steps aside to let Dr. Harrison in. They sit across from each other in the living room before Jane realizes Maura is still outside. "Oh wait a minute, let me get Maura." She walks briskly to the back door just as Maura is walking through it.

"Who was at the door?" She asks a little breathlessly from having to get off the picnic blanket without Jane's help.

"Uh, it's Dr. Harrison." Maura stops dead in her tracks.

"She's... here?"

"Yea, she's in the living room. She has our test results." She whispers the last sentence and walks up to Maura, sliding her hand into hers and kissing her temple. "She came to tell us, face to face."

"I don't know if I want to know," Maura admits quietly, ashamed at herself for wanting to hide from the problem rather than face it.

"Yes you do, we both do. We have to know, Maur. We have to know."

After a moment she finally nods, and they walk hand in hand back to the living room, where Dr. Harrison is waiting patiently. "Hello Maura, how have you been doing?"

Maura gently eases herself on to the couch, the cushions swallowing up her heavily pregnant frame. "As good as can be expected, I suppose."

The doctor nodded and smiles sympathetically. "Alright then, I won't keep you two waiting any longer." She put the file on the coffee table between them, flipping it open with one hand and turning it around, sliding it closer to them. Jane and Maura leaned forward simultaneously, not having enough time to actually read anything before Harrison blurted out, "you're clean. Jane, you are negative for the Tay-sachs gene, and the baby is perfectly healthy."

Maura's head snapped back up to meet the doctors gaze, not believing the words she heard and trying find the truth in her eyes. But it was evident in her smile that Dr. Harrison was being honest, and Jane stood up and let out a breath she had been holding in for weeks. "Oh...thank god!" she excaimed with tears in her eyes.

Maura let out a single sob of relief and covered her mouth with her hand, looking up at Jane and grabbing her hand with her free one. Jane leaned down and grabbed Maura by the face, kissing her fiercely and wiping away tears with her thumb. "It's okay, he's okay. Everything is going to be fine. He's okay." She whispered into the blonds mouth, and Maura just nods over and over again, the words are music to her ears. All the fear, and the worry, and the guilt that has been engulfing them throughout the majority of this pregnancy finally melts away, and is replaced with utter euphoria. And for Maura, maybe a little arousal. She chalks it up to the hormones.

They don't know how much time has passed but they eventually pull apart, and Maura places a hand over her heart and looks at Dr. Harrison with all the gratitude she can. "Thank you, thank you so much, Alexis. I really can't tell you h-how-"

But the doctor waves her hand and smiles at them both. "All in a days work. I'm very happy for you both, I should probably get going now anyways. Let you two celebrate. Congratulations, and I'll see you for your next appointment." She stands, gives them each a quick hug, and heads out the door.

When Jane closes the door behind the doctor, Maura walks up behind her and wraps her arms around Jane's waist. She's skinnier than she remembers, the baby stress has been getting to her in more ways than one, and she's definitely lost weight. The brunette smiles as she feel Maura's bump pushing up against her back.

"Jane," she whispers.

"Yea baby."

Maura lifts her head off of her shoulder blades, and Jane turns to face her. "Our son is going to be amazing."

Jane's face splits into a toothy grin and she leans down to kiss Maura's smile. "Yes he will, he already is."

But suddenly Maura does something she hasn't done for the past month. She uses one had to take a vice like grip on Jane's hip, and wraps the other one around her back, pulling her closer. It's a move that Jane is very familiar with, but is still surprised to see. She pulls back from the kiss just a fraction of an inch to search Maura's face, to see if this is really what she wants.

Maura's eyes are burning with the need to touch Jane, the need to be touched. Not wasting another second, Jane pulls her as close as humanly possible and they kiss their way back to the bedroom. Maura slides on top of the blanket and Jane hastily undresses, shoes, shirt...but at the sight of Maura watching her, licking her lips as her eyes roam hungrily over Jane's body, she cannot wait anymore. She pounces on her girlfriend, her pants merely unbuttoned, and slowly slides her knee up between Maura's still clothed legs. When she applies a little pressure, it pulls a soft moan from Maura's lips. The blond pulls her down for a searing kiss lets her fingers tangle in Jane's hair, flexing her hips upwards as much as she can, meeting Jane's half way. The both groan at the contact, and Maura digs her nails into Jane's muscled backside, squeezing and pulling her down lower.

Jane growls and starts kissing her neck, sucking at her pulse point and not caring that she is leaving hickeys all over her. Maura lifts Jane's head for just long enough to pull her shirt over her head. Jane starts leaving a burning hot trail of kisses down her neck, between her breasts, down her belly. As she moves down, she slides off Maura's pants and underwear, smiling a little at the purple maternity panties. While simultaneously kicking off her own pants.

"Jane," Maura breathes.

Jane lifts her head to meet Maura's eyes.

"Come here, I-I want to hold you."

Jane obliges immediately and crawls back up the bed, but leaving her hand just below Maura's belly.

Maura re-positions herself so that her leg it between Jane's, and Jane is half straddling her with her hand cupping Maura's crotch. They start moving slowly, mouths meshed together, tongues battling for dominance. Moaning and whimpering at each others touch.

It has been far too long.

Maura's climax builds faster than she thought it would, the combination of hormones and their sexual dry-spell has left her body aching for release. She moans and arches her back, thrusting into Jane's hand, fighting off the climax, wanting to come with Jane.

"It's okay, baby." The brunette whispers. "Let go, I'm right here. I love you, let go."

And she does, biting her lip to stop from screaming, nails digging into Jane's back, groaning and squirming as Jane keeps moving her fingers, letting her smoothly ride out her orgasm that leaves her feeling like she is on fire. In a good way.

All the while Jane whispers words of love in her ear, husky voice sending electric volts through Maura.

When her body finally relaxes, Jane is on the verge of her own climax. Maura leans up a little pulls Jane in for a kiss, pulling at her sides and sucking on her lip. And Jane releases, quietly, but powerfully. Thighs clenching around Maura's and releasing a low groan of satisfaction.

They both fall back onto the bed, chests heaving, faces smiling. Maura rolls onto her side to face Jane, planting a kiss on her shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

"For what? That was incredible." Jane laughs breathlessly.

Maura smirks, "not for that. For being so, awful. I was awful, it's been way too long since we've had sex, and I've been so irritable and mean-"

"Nope, no one gets to talk about the mother of my child that way, not even the mother of my child." Jane says with a chuckle.

Maura laughs too and snuggles closer to Jane, letting out a deep sigh that Jane knows means she about to fall asleep. "Jane, would you hate me if..."

"Never baby, go to sleep. You need it." She kisses her forehead as the ME's breathing evens out, her grip on Jane slowly slackening.

Jane looks out into the hallway, from their bedroom, they have a clear view of the nursery. Maura wanted to make sure the baby's room was as close to theirs as possible. She can see the faded blue light peeking out from under the door, and she decides that now that the baby has been deemed healthy, they need to get back into normalcy.

She slowly de-tangles herself from Maura's grip and tip toes into the hallway, pulling out her phone and dialing a familiar number.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Ma, it's me."

_"Oh hi Janie, I was getting worried. You never call me anymore!"_

"Yea I know, sorry." She rubs the back of her neck. "But I'm gonna make it up to you."

_"Oh yea? How's that?"_

Jane smirks, "You still want to throw a baby shower?"

* * *

**TA DA! Happiness again in the lives of rizzles. Tell me what you think :) And I'm sorry for dragging on the drama for so long, expect some fluff and smut :)**


	34. Chapter 34

"Oh...my god. You let my mother pick that out, didn't you." Jane says, staring wide-eyed at Maura's dress, biting her lip to prevent herself from laughing.

"How did you know? She said it was a gift." Maura spins in a little circle, the very frilly, very floral dress puffing out as she turns. It has blue and lavender colored morning glories covering every inch, and is trimmed in lace.

"Just a guess," Jane shrugs, grinning.

"You hate it." Maura says, it's not a question. And a small frown is barely visible before she lowers her head.

"No! No babe, I love it. It's," she pauses. Stepping closer and running her fingers along the laced sleeve. "Very Maternal."

Maura looks up at her and cocks her head, "well I would hope so. It's a maternity dress."

"Oh yeah." Jane says sarcastically. "Slipped my mind."

Maura gives her a little smack on the arm before walking back into the bathroom. "So have you decided if you're going to stay or not?" She calls into the bedroom.

"Uh, I figured I'd stay for a little bit. But Frost said he never got the chance to properly congratulate me, so we were gonna have a few beers at the Robber later."

"Oh, okay."

"Are you mad? If you really want me to stay, I will."

"No no, it's fine. Fathers rarely go to their wives baby showers, and although you are not a man, you are not carrying the child, so I suppose it's only fair that you get to have today to do...whatever expectant fathers do."

"Drink," Jane snorts.

Maura waddles back out of the bathroom holding a pair of plum colored flats. "Could you?" She asks Jane, lifting up the shoes.

Jane nods and gets up off the edge of the bed. She takes the shoes out of Maura's hands and kisses her once before kneeling in front of her. Maura puts her hands on Jane's shoulders to steady herself as the brunette lifts each ankle and slides the slightly swollen feet in to the shoes. When she's done, she stands up and kisses her again, "all done Cinderella."

Maura smiles and takes a step back, "how do they look? I can't see them."

Jane chuckles and steps backwards as well to get a better view of her feet. "Yep, match the dress perfect."

"Perfect_ly_."

Jane rolls her eyes and wraps an arm around her girlfriends waist. "Come on, there's a crown downstairs that says 'Mommy' in big sparkly letters with your name on it."

* * *

Due to the lack of both Jane and Maura's social lives, the guests consisted of Angela and 10 female work colleges that worked at BPD. Both in the morgue with Maura and in the precinct with Jane.

Maura had only ever been to one baby shower in her entire life, and it was dreadfully boring. Just tea and conversation with a group of women, with the expectant mother seated at the head of the table.  
But a baby shower hosted by Angela Rizzoli was anything but boring. She introduced games that Maura had never heard of before, including one where each person guessed how many inches around her belly was. When every woman put in their guess, Angela stood and wrapped a tape measure around Maura's bump, and the ME gasped when she saw that her abdomen had stretched to 46 inches. Susie Chang one that game, although everyone thought it wasn't fair since she was a scientist and could perfectly approximate the diameter of the distended area.

Jane even shoved a balloon under her shirt at one point, creating a fake pregnant belly. The sight elicited laughter from everyone, but made Maura's heart skip a beat.

As soon as Barry came to get Jane, Maura was swarmed by the remaining women asking her question after question about her pregnancy.

"Have you had any cravings?"

"Oh like you wouldn't believe. I made Jane get up at midnight last night to go buy me a meatball sandwich with avocado's in it. Not to mention I keep Hot Cheetos and peanut butter in my desk at work."

"Does he kick a lot?"

"Here, feel for yourself!"

"Do you have any morning sickness still? I know when I had my two girls it was all day every day."

"It's not so bad any more. I don't throw up as much as I did in the beginning, but the nausea is unfortunately pretty frequent."

"Have you and Jane picked out any names?" This question came from Angela, who was fidgeting excitedly on the couch as she waited for an answer. Maura just smiled before responding.

"We have some names, yes. But we decided not to announce the final decided name until he is born, Jane wants it to be as big of a day as possible." She rubbed her stomach and smiled wider at the thought of Jane happily announcing the birth of baby boy Rizzoli-Isles.

Only an hour into the party, Maura was already covered in blue confetti, it was hanging off of her crown and falling onto her shoulders. She was absolutely glowing, and Angela couldn't help but snap a picture with her phone and send it to her daughter.

* * *

Jane pulls out her phone when she feels it vibrate against her belt. She smiles, and flips it around to show Frost. Her leans in and squints, but smiles to when he sees Maura beaming and opening a neatly wrapped gift, confetti on her head and streamers in her crown.

"Aw, she is so in her element right now." Frost chuckles, taking a sip from his beer.

"I know right, I swear that woman was born to be a mother." Jane answers taking a long pull from her own bottle. "Is Korsak gonna join this anti-baby shower?"

"Nah, I asked him but he said he had plans. Maybe he's finally got a date."

Jane laughs, "yea, maybe."

A silence falls over them both for a few minutes, then Frost finally breaks it. "Are you nervous?"

She turns to face him, "about the baby?"

He nods.

"No, not really. I mean, I thought I was, but after the whole incident with the genetic history I was too happy about the fact that he was healthy to be nervous any more."

Frost gives her a warm smile, "you're going to be a good mommy, Rizzoli."

She bumps his shoulder with hers, but smiles back. "Except I'm not gonna be mommy." She says just before downing the last of her beer.

When Frost gives her a confused look, she taps the bar with her finger twice, silently ordering another round, and clarifies. "Maura is gonna be Mommy, I'm gonna be Mama. We already talked about it."

"Ahh, gotcha. Wait, what about when the kid gets older? No 16 year old boy is going to want to call you guys 'Mommy and Mama'," He uses air quotes for emphasis.

"Hm, good point. Didn't think about that." She answers honestly just as her second beer arrives.

...

By the end of the night, Frost and Jane are hammered. They have decided that the baby will call them poindexter and detective smarty pants in adolescence, and the cab driver that is taking them back to Jane and Maura's is getting thoroughly annoyed with them.

"Ohh man, she's gonna be so mad." Jane says to him in a fit of giggles.

"Whaaa?" He slurs back, "how come?"

"Frost," she looks at him as seriously as she can, and her red eyes meeting his. "We. Are. So. Drunk."

And they are laughing again, so hard that they are hardly breathing. Rolling around in the back of the cab, holding their sides.

They pull up to the house just as Jane's phone start to ring, and she has trouble with the exceedingly hard task of multitasking, stumbling out of the car and answering the call without even looking at the name.

"Helloooo?"

"Jane? Where are you, are you coming home soon? Everyone's left."

"Whoa, babe, that was a lot of questions hold on a sec." She thinks hard, and Frost pays the cab driver and it drives away so fast Jane doesn't even see it go.

"Okay, yes it's me, I'm outside, I should be inside in like, four seconds." She says slowly.

"Sweetie...are you drunk?" Maura asks on the other line, getting off the couch to look out the front window, where she can clearly see Jane in stitches laughing at Frost who is jumping around trying to catch a fire fly.

"Would you be mad if I said yes?" Jane chuckles.

Maura ends the call and walks outside, waddling down the steps with her hand supporting her back. "Maura!" Jane calls when she sees her, running up and pulling her in for a hard kiss.

Maura gasps into her mouth at the sudden contact, but it is gone too fast for her to even close her eyes. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too sweetheart, but there's no need to shout." Maura says, laughing lightly.

"Oops," Jane clamps a hand over her mouth.

"It's fine, but how did you get home? Please tell me you didn't drive."

Frost finally gives up on the fire fly and stumbles over to the couple, throwing an arm around Jane's shoulder. "You guys are so cute," he comments. "Like an old married couple. No we didn't drive m'lady." He bends into a deep bow for Maura, almost falling in the process, throwing Jane into a fit of laughter again.

"Yea babe, were cops. _Of course _we took a cab." Jane says once she can breathe again. "But, I think Barold here could use our couch tonight, don't you agree?"

"Vehemently," Maura answers, stepping behind them and putting her hands on their backs to steady them as she pushes them towards the door.

They make it inside and Frost collapses onto the couch, where he would stay until the next morning.

Maura grabs Jane by the hand and leads her slowly up the stairs. "Maura," Jane whispers as they walk.

"What?" She whispers back.

Jane leans forward, her lips grazing Maura's hair. "You're really, _really_ hot."

Maura throws back her head and laughs loudly. "Oh dear," she says, pulling her into the bedroom and closing the door. She turns to face Jane and puts her hand on the brunettes cheeks. "You are more intoxicated than I thought, but you are awfully cute." Jane flashes a dimpled smile, further proving Maura's point, and the ME kisses her nose.

"Babe, drunk or not, you are still smokin'. I mean, look at yourself...OH MY GOD THAT REMINDS ME!"

Maura flinches at her sudden outburst and clamps a hand over her girlfriends mouth, "shh! Reminds you of what?"

"Me and Frost got you a present!" She mumbles through Maura's hand.

"A present?" Maura asks warily, sliding her hand away. "What kind of present?"

"Well...It's in the back of his car...which is at the Dirty Robber, so I guess you get it tomorrow. Do you think he'd be mad if I spoiled the surprise and told you?"

"Honey, I don't think he will even remember."

Jane laughs again, "good point." But before she answers, she flops down face first on the bed, her hair falling wildly around her head. "Oh man, I love this bed."

Maura giggles and leans down to pull off the detective's shoes, first left, then right. Tossing them aside instead of putting them away because she too is exhausted. The blonde sits on the edge of the bed and lays back next to Jane.

The detective turns her head slightly, opening only one eye. "You're so pretty." She whines quietly into the mattress.

Maura laughs and shakes her head. "You," she pushes hair away from Jane's face, "are beautiful, and I love you. Even when inebriated."

Jane is suddenly struck with energy that can only be fueled by her sudden arousal. She gets on her hands and knees and hovering over Maura's body, careful as always to not put any pressure on the bump, her hair falling down and covering both their faces like a veil.

They simply stare at each other for a moment, before Maura throws her arms around Jane's neck and yanks her down for a kiss. They both moan at the same time, and Maura starts to squirm.

"Wait wait wait." Jane says, pulling away only a few inches, Maura's hold on her neck too tight to move any farther. "A mirror."

"A what?" Maura says breathlessly, wishing this conversation could wait until tomorrow, or at least until after Jane rips this damn maternity dress off her with her teeth...

"We got you a mirror, a-a full length mirror. We-we don't have one, and since you can't see your feet anymore-"

But Maura doesn't let her finish her sentence, she pulls Jane back to her mouth and rolls them on their sides.

And the dress off her in seconds.

...

The next morning, all three of them are throwing up. Maura from her morning sickness, Jane and Frost from their hangovers.

* * *

**I apologize for the delay, school starting up again kind of threw me off, but I'm back. Thank you so much for your reviews, guys. They mean the world to me :)**

**I also have a question for you guys. I realize that we all live in different time zones (I'm on the west coast, LA to be exact) and I was trying to figure out the perfect time of the day to do my updates, a time most convenient for as many of you as possible. PM me or leave a review with your suggestion if you'd like.**

** Thanks a million, lots of love. **


	35. Chapter 35

**I'm sorry! It's been so long, I know!**

* * *

Jane and Frost were stepping off the elevator to the morgue, laughing about their drunk escapade a few weeks ago, when they heard a loud frustrated groan coming from the Medical Examiner's office.

They paused, and Jane turned to her partner, "uh, let me go in first. She might be having another mood swing and I wouldn't want her tossing any scalpels at you." It was meant as a joke, by Barry looked at her warily, nodding and steeping back as she pushed through the double doors.

Maura was struggling to get out of her office chair, bracing herself against her desk and trying to push herself forward into a standing position.

Jane knocked once on the door frame. "Hey, Maur...How's it going?" She asks cautiously.

Maura looks up at her girlfriend, and tears immediately begin to form. "I-I can't get comfortable!" She cries, "and as soon as I do, the baby gets uncomfortable and kicks me in the ribs, so I have to move again. And as soon as I move I have to pee! God, it's like a never ending cycle!" She finally gives up on trying to stand and drops her head into her hands, shaking slightly from her quiet weeping.

"Aww sweetie..." Jane says with a faint smile. She knew Maura was due for a good cry, but just wasn't expecting it to be at work. The detective steps behind the desk and pulls Maura into a hug, running her hand up and down her back.

Maura hiccups against Jane's abs, leaving tear stains on her shirt. "And I miss wearing heels! I ordered a new pair or Jimmy Choo's from Milan four months ago and they finally arrived, and I can't even wear them! And-and I miss drinking wine, and eating fish, and going on jogs in the morning. And _God _I miss my waistline!" She unwraps her arms from Jane's midsection and wipes at her eyes. Jane squats down in front of her and put her hands on the smaller woman's knees.

"You will wear heels again soon, Maura. You've got, what, ten more weeks? And then we have a beautiful baby boy and your feet will go back to normal size, as will your stomach."

"Maybe, maybe not." Maura sniffles, "some women never loose their baby weight."

Jane gives her a warm smile, "more to love."

"You'll still love me when I'm fat, and ugly, and smell like baby vomit?" She knows what Jane will say, but there is a small glimmer of fear in her eye all the same.

"Come here," Jane instructs. And she helps Maura to her feet and guides her over to the couch, sitting down first and pulling Maura half on her lap, The blondes head against her shoulder and her legs draped over Jane's thighs. "Maura?" She says quietly, running her fingers through golden hair.

"Hm?"

"I meant what I said on Christmas, you know. I love you, and I will always love you. Every second of every day." Maura smiles and twirls her ring around her finger with her thumb. "You aren't fat, you're pregnant. And even if you don't lose all the weight, I don't care. It won't make me love you any less, nothing ever could. You are beautiful, you always will be, and you are mine." She presses a kiss to the ME's forehead and lets her lips linger. She fells Maura's chin start to quiver, and decides they have had enough tears for one day.  
"As far as baby vomit goes, I figure we'll both be covered in it, so we both probably won't notice the smell." Maura laughs, and the last of her tears dry up. She lifts her head off Jane's shoulder and looks at her seriously.

"That reminds me, have you talked to Cavanaugh about _your _maternity leave?"

They finally came to an agreement last night about how their time off will work. Maura has six weeks left until her Maternity leave starts, and Jane's starts as soon as the baby is born. Maura will take off three months minimum, and Jane will take two. But Maura has a feeling that once the baby arrives, they won't be as eager as they think they will be to get back to work.

"I mentioned it, yeah." Jane answers, "he didn't seem too thrilled about me leaving, but he agreed all the same."

"Good." She pauses, then says quietly. "I'm awful for complaining so much. I wanted a baby so badly, we spent so long trying... I have no right to whine." She clears her throat and takes a deep breath.

Jane laughs lightly, "Maur, you are hormonal, and exhausted, and carrying around ten extra pounds in your stomach. You can complain as much as you want."

Maura gives her a smile and a peck on the cheek. "Why did you come down here anyway? Just to see me have a temper tantrum?" says Maura, still grinning.

"No," Jane chuckles. "Actually, Frost is waiting for the OK from me to come into the morgue. He didn't want to get caught in the crossfire."

They walk into the morgue and Frost gives Maura an apologetic look. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"Not at all Barry...my hormones just go the best of me." She admits.

He nods in understanding and they step up to the morgue table.

"Twenty-two year old native american female. Cause of death is a gun shot wound to the chest, the bullet lodged itself in the aorta and-" She suddenly inhaled sharply and began coughing violently. Clutching at the side of her rib cage and backing away from the table.

"Whoa Doc, you okay?" Frost asked stepping forward just as Jane did, but Maura waved them both away, still coughing.

She finally caught her breath and placed a hand over her heart to steady herself, saying in a broken voice, "I'm fine. Just got, kicked in the lung."

Both Frost and Jane share a quick laugh, and Maura gave them both icy looks, shutting them up immediately. She finished up with the report and waddled back into her office, slamming the door a little harder than necessary as she did.

"Uh oh," Frost said as they walked back to the elevator. "Someone's sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Shut up," she answers, and he ducks laughing as she takes a swing at him.

* * *

Jane and Barry pull up to the crime scene together, Korsak already taking a statement form the man who found the body. Jane can vaguely hear his panicked voiced over the sirens as she approaches the scene.

"I-I don't know, man. I came out back to take out the trash and there she was, just lyin' there."

Jane takes a look at the body, and feels a small pang in her chest. _Poor girl, _she thinks. _She's so young._

"Where's Pike?" She asks, turning back to Frost. "Shouldn't he be here already? No one's touched her yet."

Frost swivels around at the sound of an approaching vehicle, "uh, I don't think Pike's coming." He tells her. "Look."

She turns in the direction he is facing and is shocked to see Maura, easing her belly out from behind the wheel of her car.

"What the-" Jane starts, but Frost doesn't hear her finish because she has already taken off like a shot towards her girlfriend.

Maura sees her approaching and smiles broadly. "Hello darling!" She says gleefully.

"Don't you 'hello darling' me! What are you doing here? I though we said no more field work. Where's Dr. Pike?"

Maura smiles fades and she pulls Jane closer to keep their conversation a little more private. "I know, I know. But this could very well be my last crime scene for a really long time, and I thought, maybe, this could be like my last hoorah."

"Did you just say hoorah? Whatever, it doesn't matter. Babe," she looks at Maura seriously and places her hands on the smaller woman shoulders. "Are you absolutely sure about this?"

"Absolutely."

Jane lets out a heavy sigh, "fine. But this is the last one. The real last one, got it? And you have to sit down if you get tired, and don't lie and say you're not, you'll just break out into hives and I'll make you sit down anyway."

Maura smiles, "I can agree to that. Don't worry, Jane. I'll be OK."

She steps past the detective and finally sees the victim, her throat catching as she does. She takes a calming breath and with all the professionalism she can muster, squats down next to the body.

"Female, looks to be between 15 and 17 years old. I'd say dead no longer than ten hours." _Pretty girl,_ she thinks. It's true, the young adult on the concrete next to her is quite beautiful. With dark auburn hair cut just above her shoulder, skin comparable to ivory, and deep brown eyes. Slender, even for her age. Hip bones jutting out slightly, with skinny arms and legs.

"You thinking strangulation?" Jane inquires from behind her.

"It looks that way from the bruising, but I'll confirm back at the lab." She pushes aside the girls hair, giving them a full view of the hand print shaped bruise staining her neck in various blues and purples.

Tears begin to burn in the back of her eyes and she pulls her gaze away, her eyes falling on Jane.

To her surprise, the detective is also fighting off tears.

_My god, _Maura thinks to herself. _Once the most stubborn and strong willed people on the team, we both now find ourselves weepy over a victim. _She had thought it was just her hormones causing her to get teary eyed, but what was Jane's excuse?

In an instant, she realizes. Maternal instinct.

Already, the primal mothering gene had erupted in both of them. And they both wonder if they will feel like this every time they have a child victim.

* * *

**So a bit of a slow chapter, I know. I had a few issues with writers block, but I'm cured. I have an awesome case coming up that's going to be great. Or...at least I think it will. Anyways, reviews are my life, I love to know what you think. And I love you all.**


	36. Chapter 36

Her name was Charlotte Griffin, age 17. Orphaned at age 8 and was a ward of the state. She had been attending Wilson High School in Haverhill and was last seen with her friend, Danielle Davidson, leaving the school together by foot. As far as anyone knew, Danielle was the last person to see her alive.

Which is why she was currently sitting by Jane's desk with her stern looking father standing close behind.

Jane walked into the bull pen and her eyes immediately fell on the father and daughter. His hand placed firmly on her slumped shoulder as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.

"Danielle Davidson?" Jane asks in confirmation as she approaches them.

The young girl lifts her head and nods, her silvery blonde hair falling off her shoulders and down her back, with blue eyes that were rimmed red. "Is-is she really dead?" She asks quietly.

Jane's face softens, and she prepares her victim voice. "Yes sweetie, she is. I'm so sorry. I understand you two were close?" Jane notices the fathers hand grip her shoulder a little tighter, but Danielle pays no attention. Her lip quivers a little and she nods again before a single sob escapes her.

"She was my best friend."

"She was no good for you Danielle. You shouldn't have been hanging out with her in the first place. What if it had been you?" The fathers rough voice cuts through their conversation.

Jane looks up at him, "sir, maybe I could have a moment alone with your daughter?"

"No, I have a right to stay with her. I don't want her speaking to you alone." His voice rises slightly the detective notices Danielle flinch a little.

"Ok, fine." Jane agrees, and turns her attention back to the girl. "You two walked home together?"

"Y-yes. I usually drive my car, but I didn't have it today."

"Why not?"

"My wife was using it, hers was in the shop." The girl's father interrupts.

"Mr. Davidson, I really need to hear it from your daughter, and if you continue to interrupt I will have to remove you from the squad room for intimidating a witness."

He falls silent, but keeps an angry gaze on her as she turns back to his daughter.

"How long had you been friends?"

"All of high school. We met freshman year."

"Did anyone have any problems with her?"

"Not that I knew of, everyone loved Charlotte." At this statement, the girls tears return and she drops her head into her hands.

"That's enough of this, we're leaving." Mr. Davidson commands, grabbing his daughters and and pulling her up. She winces slightly at his grip, but says nothing, zipping her sweater up all the way to her neck and fingering the necklace around her throat.

Before Jane can get in a word of protest, they are gone.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Jane asks, popping her head into the medical examiners office.

Maura jumps, and drops the ultrasound wand on the ground, frantically pulling her black scrub shirt back down and readjusting her lab coat. "Nothing!"

Jane cocks her head.

The blonde sighs, "fine, I was using the morgues ultrasound machine on myself. I couldn't help it, I wasn't busy, and he hasn't moved for a couple hours so I just thought..."

"You'd check on him?" Jane says smiling. She walks in and takes a seat next to Maura on the couch. "Good idea."

Maura grins widely and pecks her on the lips. Jane takes the wand in her own hand and helps Maura with her shirt.

After about an hour of cooing over their unborn son, reveling in the rhythmic whoosh of his heartbeat pulsating through the room, they put the machine away and get back to work.

"You spoke with the friend?" Maura asks over the body.

"Yeah, she was really upset. They were best friends."

"She must have been devastated." Maura says quietly before turning her attention back to the corpse. "She was definitely strangled, but she put up a fight. I found scratches along her arms and almost all of her fingernails are broken. The few that weren't, however, had black cotton fiber embedded in them."

"Like regular cotton? The kind used for clothes?"

"Yes, but the density of the fiber leads me to conclude that it was from a glove."

Jane's shoulders slump a little, "so he was wearing gloves, great." She steels herself and takes a quick breath. "Anything else?"

Maura shakes her head, "no."

"She wasn't..." Jane looks Maura in the eye before continuing, "sexually assaulted, was she?"

"Thankfully not, although I did find presence of vaginal fluids. She may not have been raped, but she was certainly aroused." Both women particularly hated this part of the job, the part where you felt as if you were completely violating the victim in every way. Even if the goal is to bring them justice, a small part of you still feels like you have no right to know this persons business. Nothing is sacred in this line of work.

"Hm, that's strange." Jane said, "maybe Danielle lied to us then." When she is met with Maura's confused look, she clarifies. "The friend we talked to, she said they walked home together, but she didn't mention anything about meeting a boyfriend, or any guy for that matter. Maybe I'll go talk to her again."

Jane says a quick goodbye and walks back to the elevator, but as it dings and she takes a step forward, she suddenly halts as another body steps out.

"Danielle?"

The girl looks up, eyes still brimming with un-shed tears. She squares her shoulders and tightens the sleeves of her jacket in her fists before answering.

"I-I came back. I wanted to see her, can-can I see her? Please, I need to see her." The little confidence in her voice falters throughout her sentence.

"Um. Let me see what I can do, wait right here." Jane gives her shoulder a reassuring rub, and although Danielle doesn't flinch, her eyes close momentarily as if she is trying very hard not to.

Jane takes long, quick strides back into the morgue and calls out Maura's name. The ME spins around looking confused, "what's wrong?"

"Uh, Danielle is here. The friend. She says she wants to see the body, should I let her? I mean, they were best friends. And we can cover up everything but her face..."

But Maura is already on it, she carefully guides herself off the stool she was sitting on and waddles over to the body, pulling the sheet up to just below her neck. "Give me five minutes, I want to see if their is anything I can do about her bruises."

Jane takes a silent moment to appreciate the heart of Maura Isles, and gives her a chaste kiss before making her way back to the elevator doors.

Danielle is leaning up against the wall, head bowed, one hand slowly rubbing her side. Jane makes sure to stomp her feet a little louder than usual, not wanting the already fragile (and obviously jumpy) teenager to be startled. She lifts her head at the sound of Jane's footfalls and stands up straight.

"So...can I see her?" She asks quietly.

Jane nods, "our Medical Examiner is preparing her for viewing, are you ready? I think you should prepare yourself-"

"I'm ready," Danielle responds eagerly, wiping away a single tear with an angry swipe of her hand. "I'm ready."

Jane agrees, and after the allotted amount of time, guides her down to the morgue. She pokes her head through the door first. "Psst!" She hisses at Maura, "you ready?"

"Yes," Maura says, putting down the make-up brush in her hand.

Jane opens the door a little wider, and Danielle steps through, her hand automatically flying to her mouth to stifle her gasp. "Oh godd... Char." She whispers though her hand.

She slowly steps closer to the morgue table, tears beginning to flow. She comes to a stop at the edge of the table, and bites back a sob and she slips her hand into the cold, motionless hand of Charlotte Griffin. "How?" She whispers.

Maura answers, "She...was strangled to death."

Danielle squeezes her eyes shut, and drops to her knees beside the body, sill clutching the lifeless hand on the table. "I'm so sorry Charlotte," she cries. "I shouldn't have left you, I'm so, so sorry." Her body was angled strangely, and Maura noticed. She was slouched to the left side, avoiding putting pressure on her right.

"Jane," Maura whispers, and the brunette turn her attention to her. Maura nods in the direction of the other end of the room, and they both cross the morgue at the same time.

"What?" Jane whispers to her once they are close enough.

"Well, I wanted to give her a little bit of privacy, also I think she may have an injury. Her spine is angled oddly and she is bent at about 13 degrees."

Jane glaces back at the sobbing girl, trying to see what Maura sees. "I guess, yea. You're right." She nods, just as her phone starts to buzz. She glances down quickly at the message and groans quietly. "Frost says he's got something..."

"Go, I've got this." Maura insists with a smile.

Jane gives her hand a squeeze instead of her normal kiss of thanks, trying to remain professional in front of the girl, but she doesn't seem to notice anyway.

After Jane leaves, Maura gives the girl another minute or so before approaching her. "Danielle? Would you like to come into my office for a little while? I have some coffee if you'd like..."

The girl sniffles, but finally nods. Slowly getting to her feet and refusing Maura's helping hand. "I'm fine, I don't want to throw you off balance, you look like you're about to topple over as it is." Maura gives her a small smile as they walk into her office.

"How did you get here?" Maura asks, gesturing to the couch for the girl to sit. "To the precinct, I mean." Danielle pulls a set of keys out of her pocket.

"I drove, finally got my car back from my mom. She'd been borrowing it." She shifts in her seat, deliberately not leaning one shoulder on the back of the couch. Maura can't stand it anymore, this girl is obviously in pain.

She sets two mugs of coffee (one decaf) on her desk and takes a seat next to the girl, leaning closer to her. "Are you okay, Danielle? You seem to be hurting." Catching the sadness in the girls gaze, she adds, "I mean physically. Are you in pain?"

The girl opens her mouth to deny it, but suddenly find herself nodding slowly, Maura's unwavering and caring eyes making it impossible to lie. Even though she has gotten used to lying whenever anyone asks her this question. "It's nothing, just a bump. I'm okay." She whispers earnestly.

But her facial muscles move in a way that tells Maura that is not the whole story. The ME puts a gentle hand on the girls shoulder, and surprisingly she doesn't flinch. "May I? I won't hurt you, promise." She says quietly.

The girl doesn't respond, but she doesn't protest either. Closing her eyes tightly as Maura slides her jacket off her shoulder, unzipping it a little more so it falls off both shoulders and slides down the back of the couch.

Somehow, Maura manages not to gasp. But tears burn in the back of her eyes and she mutters, "oh, honey."

The bruise is about six inches in width, eight in length. Oval shaped and turning green, no doubt almost a week old. Maura has seen this bruise on victims on her slab before, almost always the result of an elbow to the shoulder blade. She pulls the jacket completely off, revealing hand shaped bruises on Danielle's upper arms, dark blue, and more recent.  
When she pushes the girls blonde hair aside, exposing deep gash marks in the back of her neck, she feels the girl shudder. Danielle scoots away from Maura instantly and settles herself on the far end of the couch, trying to push herself as far away from the realization on Maura's face as possible. She pulls her knees up to her chest and buries her face in them. "P-please don't say anything, _please." _She begs, trying to control her breathing.

Maura reaches forward and puts her hand on the girls arm, "Danielle, someone is hurting you. Frequently, by the looks of it. I have to make sure you're safe, I have to tell-"

"Please!" Danielle all but shrieks, and Maura is slightly taken aback by the outburst. "If you tell, if you say anything it'll just get worse. I'm begging you, he's going to stop now. He's gonna stop."

"How many times has he told you that, Danielle? How many times has he said he's going to stop?" Maura has heard this line from so many victims it's almost a cliche.

"Never." Danielle answers seriously. "He has never said he will stop, but I know he will now." Her voice is barely a whisper.

"_How?" _Maura presses, "how do you know he will stop? Who is he, anyway? Is it a boyfriend?"

Danielle chuckles heartlessly, biting back a sob. "No, no it's not a boyfriend."

"Then who, sweetheart? Who ever it is deserves to be in prison, and if you tell me I can help get him there."

"His only reason for hurting me is dead!" Danielle finally explodes, fat tears rolling down her face as she clutches at her side. "She is laying on that table in there-"  
But she can't finish, she covers her face with her hands in shame and weeps. Maura, still confused on the situation, can think of nothing to do but wrap her arms gently around the girl, her heart breaking as she clutches onto Maura's lab coat like it's a lifeline.

* * *

**Patience, friends. The best is yet to come :)  
****As always, I love you all. Your reviews are always appreciated and flatter me beyond belief.**


	37. Chapter 37

**We're starting off with a flashback here, stay with me people.**

* * *

_Charlotte slides her hand into Danielle's and laces their fingers together, smiling widely at the look of shock on her face. _

_"Char! What if someone sees-"_

_"They won't," Charlotte assures her, and she's right. They are walking together, making their way to Danielle's house behind the city buildings. No one can see them, certainly no one they know. "I hate hiding." Danielle admits._

_"I know, so do I." Charlotte starts, "but I care about your safety more than anything else. I'll hide this forever if it means you're safe." Touched, Danielle stops walking and takes a tentative glance around to make sure they really are alone, then gently pushes Charlotte up against the brick of a near-by building. A small starts to creep over the blondes face as her girlfriend gets closer and closer._

_"I love you," she whispers when their lips are mere centimeters apart. Danielle puts her hands on Charlotte's cheeks and pushes her body flush up against hers, pushing her back harder against the brick. She brings their lips together, and smiles at the sigh that is pulled from Charlotte's mouth. _

_"Mmm, I love you too," she mumbles, letting her hands slip around her girlfriends waist and pulling her tighter against her. After a make-out session worthy of junior high, Charlotte finally pulls away and takes her hand before making their way the rest of the three blocks to Danielle's apartment. "Do you think you can get away tonight?" Charlotte asks quietly as they walk, not wanting to get her hopes up, but failing miserably._

_"I can try, but my dad has been on a rampage lately." She glances up at her girlfriend and is nearly heart broken at the look of disappointment on her face. She stops just outside the entrance of her building and turns to face her, grabbing both her hands. "I'm going to try though, okay? I'll say- I'll say I'm going to a football game with a guy or something."_

_Charlotte's eyebrows shoot up, but a smirk plays on her lips. "A guy, huh?"_

_"A guy," Danielle giggles. "A guy with beautiful, long blonde hair. Who is sexy, and funny, and adorable, and doesn't have a penis."_

_Charlotte laughs loudly, "try not to mention that last part, might be a give-away."_

_"Right, good thinking."_

_"So tonight?"_

_"Tonight," and even though they are not in the safety of a hidden alley, and they are right in front of her building, Danielle can't help but place a quick but steamy kiss on her girlfriends lips before ducking into the building._

* * *

Maura is still holding a sobbing Danielle, rocking back and forth slightly and pressing her lips to her temple, "shh, talk to me, Danielle." She whispers in her ear.

The girl takes a few shuddering breaths, "he- he only hurt me because of her. B-because I was with her, he didn't want me to be with her."

Maura lets the words sink in for a moment before it finally clicks, and she feels stupid for taking so long to figure it out.

"Charlotte was your girlfriend," she says quietly. "You loved her."

And the sob that wracks Danielle's body is enough of an answer.

* * *

_"I. SAW. YOU." He roars, grabbing Danielle by the arms forcefully and demanding that she look him in the eye. "I saw you with her! You disgusting, stupid, selfish little girl!" He throws her to the ground and she lands on her knees, hard. "Don't lie to me, dyke. What have I told you about her? Did you think I was kidding when I said I wouldn't send you away? I told you to finish this, it never should have started in the first place. You are a disgrace-"_

_"I love her!" Danielle screeches. Still kneeling on the ground in front of her father. "I'm sorry Daddy, but it's true. I love her and we're not hurting anyone so-"_

_"You're hurting me! And you're mother, and sister! You think we want people to know we are housing a fucking dyke?"_

_"Stop calling me that!" A hard blow to the upper back sends her into silence, in a fetal position now, groaning from the piercing throb in her shoulder. This has become his new favorite place to hit her, and the pain from the previous bruise in the same spot is brought into brutal focus._

_"Shut the hell up," he spits. Danielle attempt to stand but in an instant he is on the ground next to her, one hand gripping her neck so hard that his nails break the skin. He brings his face close to her ear, and she can smell the bourbon on his breath as he whispers in her ear. "Remember, this is your fault. You didn't end it, so now I have to. Thanks to you, she'll get what's coming."  
_

* * *

"Danielle, you realize I can't send you home if some one there is the one hurting you, right?" Maura says quietly as they step off the elevator together.

"I know you can't," the teen replies, and pulls her car keys back out of her purse. Pink and sparkly key chains jingling away, yet another reminder for Maura of just how young she is. Just a child. "But you're not sending me anywhere, technically. I'm leaving on my own."

Maura gives her a 'you know what I meant' look, and takes her hand, stopping in the middle of a bustling BPD to get her attention. "Is there anywhere else you can stay tonight? I can call a lawyer friend of mine and-"

"You promised." Danielle cuts her off, "you promised not to." And she did, before they left the morgue, Maura became victim to Danielle's impressive powers of persuasion and promised not to say anything to anyone, and to not ask who it was, but trust when she said they would stop, and Maura always kept her promises. "I'll be okay, and I don't want you mixed up in this anymore than you need to be." The young girl glances down at the hand in hers, eyeing the simple wedding band. "You've got someone to go home to, a family, worry about them, not me."

"But I _am _worried about you, sweetheart. Call it my maternal instinct kicking in early, but I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight if I know you're not safe." She reaches into her own purse and pulls out a business card and a pen before using her abdomen as a flat surface to scribble something on the back of it. "Here, this is my card, you can reach me on my cell or at home, my house number is on the back. Day or night, please don't hesitate. I'll always pick up."

Danielle gives her a warm smile before puling her into a brief hug. Maura's hormones make a quick appearance and she sniffles back tears before kissing the girl on the head. "Be safe."

"I will," Danielle answers as she turns to go, but a shrill voice that is eerily familiar to Maura causes her to look up in surprise.

"Danielle Alexandra Davidson, where on _earth _have you been?" Her mother howls, pushing her way through people to get closer to her daughter. "Why are you here anyway? I thought you left with your father hours ago?"

"I came back." Danielle says simply, "I needed to do something. How did you find me anyway?"

"I was driving past to police station when I recognized your car out front, and don't change the subject, what-" But she stops short, finally noticing Maura standing a few yards away. And with a jolt, Maura finally puts a face to the name, or rather, a memory.

Mrs. Davidson, the woman who she and Jane ran into at the baby store. The woman who called them abominable, and perverse.

The homophobic woman with a daughter Maura had just found out was gay.

_"You." _Mrs. Davidson whispers menacingly. "Have you been hanging out with my daughter? Is she who you were here to see?" She turns her attention back to Danielle. "Answer me young lady! Is this despicable woman who you are here to see?"

Danielle's face contorts into deep confusion. "N-no, I came to see if...if Charlotte had any personal belongings on her possession that I could have." It was a good lie, but apparently not good enough. "How do you know Dr. Isles?"

"Never you mind," she spins her head back to the ME. "What have you been saying to my daughter, huh? What have you been telling her? Pushing her to be more like you? More like your people?"

"No, she told you why she was here, and that's the truth." Maura was silently thankful for the tightly pulled-over lab coat that was hiding her hives. Trying her best not to let her emotions overwhelm her again and start to cry.

Mrs. Davidson moved closer to Maura, and with each step, Maura could feel her heart beating louder and louder. "Stay. Away. From my child. Understand? Or I'll sue you, and this whole god-damned precinct." By now, they had started to attract attention from the people in the building, and a familiar, but this time calming voice echoed out above the murmurs.

"Hey, what's going on here?"

Jane.

Maura closed her eyes momentarily in relief as Jane walked through the front doors, Frost close behind.

The brunette halted for a moment at the sight of Mrs. Davidson, who she recognized immediately, and glanced between her and Danielle, connecting the dots.

"Mrs. Davidson here came to collect her daughter," Maura says quietly, not taking her eyes off Jane.

"I see," Jane says, "Mrs. Davidson, didn't we have a little talk about what would happen if you ever threatened Dr. Isles again?"

The mother visibly swallows, but doesn't back down. "That was before I found out that your _significant other _was talking to my daughter."

Frost takes the opportunity to step in, and plants himself firmly right in front of Mrs. Davidson. "I don't know who you are ma'am, and quite frankly, I don't care, but Dr. Isles here is a lady, and you will respect her as one, understood?"

Jane and Maura smirk at this comment.

Frost continues, "and, if I' not mistaken, there is no law against Dr. Isles speaking to your daughter here. And it's safe to say I know the law pretty damn well, so before you cause anymore unnecessary trouble, why don't you take your daughter and head home, sound reasonable?"

Mrs. Davidson makes no comment, but is fuming. She grabs her daughter's hand forcefully and stomps towards the exit.

In one last (slightly immature) attempt to get under the woman's skin, Jane calls out, "Hey Davidson! One last thing."

The second that she turns her head to face Jane, the detective grabs Maura by the face and plants a big, wet, sloppy kiss right on her mouth. The precinct erupts in applause and hoots and hollers, and they separate just in time to see Mrs. Davidson storm off, and Danielle following slowly, walking backwards and gaping open-mouthed at Jane and Maura, who are giggling like school girls.

* * *

**I am so so so so so sorry for not updating for so long. I feel awful, I hate it when updates take forever and now I feel like a hypocrite. My teacher threatened me with not graduating and I had a mini heart attack and hit the books. Hard. I promise to try to keep up with this story, I have plenty of ideas, so I'll try not to catch writers block.  
I am so incredibly grateful to you all for sticking with me, and I am constantly surprised by how much people seem to enjoy this story. I can't express my gratitude enough, your reviews make me happier than I can say.**

**Much love,**

**J.**


	38. Chapter 38

"What did you two find?" Maura asks as the three of them make their way into the bullpen, still smiling from the little performance Jane put on downstairs.

"Well, Frost got a call from Frankie, who apparently found something at the crime scene that we missed." Jane leans against her desk and holds up a plastic evidence bag with a little silver locket in it. "We think it came off the victim during the struggle."

Maura leans forward and takes the bag in her hand, examining the contents. "This looks...vaguely familiar. I can't quite place it though," she says quietly, a crease forming between her eyes.

"That's exactly what I said," Jane responds. "And then I realized where I had seen it. Danielle had the exact same one, remember?"

Maura slowly nods her head, "that's right, she did. Which makes perfect sense now."

Jane turns her whole body towards her girlfriend. "What do you mean?"

"When I was with Danielle, she told me, well, everything, I suppose. Well almost everything. She and Charlotte were dating, and it was serious." She exhales and frowns a little. "She loved her."

After quickly having Frost run the necklace down to the morgue techs to check for fingerprints, Jane sits Maura down at her desk and has her explain everything that she discovered from Danielle.

When the ME finishes, Jane leans back in her chair and sighs. "Although I hate to guess, I feel like we should be looking at the father." Maura says quietly, subconsciously rubbing her stomach.

Jane runs her fingers through her hair once. "Yeah, I agree. I don't doubt that if he was the one who is hurting Danielle, then he probably killed Charlotte too."

"Jane, we have to get her out of that house. She made me promise- I didn't want to upset her- I should have made her stay." She finishes in a whisper.

Jane leans forward and puts her hands over Maura, still rubbing her belly. "We'll get her, okay? Don't blame yourself, she trusted you, and you didn't let her down." She pulls up one of Maura's hands and kisses it. "We'll get her."

They make eye contact, and Maura nods before Jane helps her into a standing position and they take action.

"Frost," Jane says just as he walks back into the bullpen. "You and Korsak go get Danielle from her house, say we need her for questioning, make something up, I don't care just get her away from her parents. We can't charge the dad until we get proof, so I'll stay and wait for the lab results. Keep your phone close and I'll call you when I get them."

Frost and Korsak grab their coats and head for the door.

"I'm going to go see if I can get a rush on the results," Maura says just before waddling as fast as she can to the elevators.

"Kay," Jane answers, not looking up from the murder board, determined to find something else in the the crime scene photos that tie Danielle's father to the murder.

* * *

Maura walks into her office to grab her lab coat before heading into the lab. "Have the results come back from the Griffin case yet?" She asks the closest technician.

He looks at her questioningly before nodding, "Yes, Susie just went up to the front desk to bring them to you, you didn't see her when you came down?"

"No, I must have walked right past her." Maura answers, a little frustrated that she came all the way down here for no reason, when she could have been helping Jane.

"Well I left a copy of it on your desk," he adds. "Just in case."

She gives him a small smile. "Thank you."

She starts walking back to her office when her phone rings, and after riffling through the pocket of her lab coat she answers to an unfamiliar number.

"Hello?"

"_Dr. Isles! I-it's Danielle."_

Maura's heart jumps into her throat. "Danielle, are you okay? What's wrong?"

_"I don't know, I came home with my mom a-and she told my dad everything. A-about you and Detective Rizzoli. He was mad, like, really really mad. I should have told you. I'm so sorry-"_ her words falter like she is trying not to cry, and Maura is already imagining the worst.

"Listen to me sweetie, it's okay. I know it was your father. Jane and I are working the case and we just sent officers to come and get you. You are going to be-"

_"It's not me I'm worried about! It's you! He was furious, and he left. I-I don't know where he went, but...just be careful. I don't know what he is going to do."_

By now Maura has made it to her office, and with the hand that isn't holding the phone is flipping through the file that was left on her desk.

There was a partial print on the back of the necklace, a match to an Anthony Davidson. There was also blood found on the hinge of the locket, belonging to Charlotte Griffin.

"Gotcha," Maura whispers to herself.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Doctor." Says a gruff, unfamiliar voice from the door. Her head snaps up, and the phone falls from her grasp, clattering to the ground. Ending the call.

"M-Mr. Davidson." Maura stutters, immediately kicking herself for sounding weak, but truth be told, she is terrified. He steps further into her office and closes the door behind him, locking it with one hand.

He is a large man, at least 6 foot 5, and around two hundred and fifty pounds. He towers over Maura, and she can feel herself shrinking.

"You people," he spits, turning away from her to flick the blinds shut, and she can see a revolver in the waistband of his pants, sitting against the small of his back. Her eyes get wide and she wraps one arm around her abdomen. "It's bad enough you have to be so, so, so fucking disgusting by yourselves! And then you go and spread around all your perversions. Infecting the minds of young kids. Kids who don't know better."

He turns back to face her just as she tries to quickly lean down and grab her phone. In a flash he is beside her, kicking her hand away from the phone and pushing her up against the wall.

"You don't wanna push me bitch. I'm already at my wits end." He hisses through his teeth, and Maura can't help the whimper that escapes her lips as one of his hands pushes against her chest, pinning her harder to the wall.

His hands are big, bigger than both of hers put together, and he effortlessly grabs both her wrists in one hand and squeezes them tight before pushing them above her head.

"I've had it up to here with this bullshit!" He roars, and tears are falling down her face faster than she realizes. She is shaking from head to toe, but her biggest fear is that there is nothing but the skin of her stomach, and the thin fabric of her clothing that is protecting her baby from this man.

This monster.

* * *

"Detective Rizzoli?" Susie says timidly.

Jane turns around and furrows her brow at the rare sight of a morgue tech out of the morgue. "Yeah?"

"I have the results, I figured I should bring them up right away."

Jane gives a single snort of laughter, "What, Doctor Isles asked you to do it cause her feet were killing her?"

Instead of laughing, Susie just looks confused. She tilts her head. "No... I didn't see her down there. I thought she was with you?"

Jane matches her confused expression, but takes the file from her before Susie turns out of the room.

"She was right," Jane mumbles as she reads the file. But something doesn't feel right. Maura would have brought this up, she was more invested in this case than anyone. How did she slip past Chang without being noticed? It was hard _not _to notice Maura these days.

Deciding to go with her gut, she puts the file under her arm and heads for the elevators.

* * *

"P-please, _please_ don't. I'm s-sorry if I offended you but please," Maura cries. "I'm begging you."

He pulls the gun away from her temple momentarily, and she lets out a huge breath she didn't realize she was holding in.

"How would you feel," he snarls, "if it was your child, huh? If it was your daughter who was corrupted?" Slowly, she lowers the muzzle of the gun and presses it to the top of her belly.

She starts to sob, "Please don't, please please please." At this point, she's practically praying. And with a jolt, she remembers the last time she was in a situation that left her praying to a god that she doesn't believe in.

"Although, your child is already corrupted, isn't it? A test tube baby, a fucking science experiment." He pushes it a little harder against her skin. The baby gives a hard kick to her ribs, and she winces under the combined pain of both pressures. After a moment, she is able to open her eyes again, and in the distance she hears the ding of the elevator door.

He hasn't heard it, and the first glimmer of hope sparks in her, someone is coming to save her. Someone _has _to come save her.

"What did you say to her!" He yells in her face, "what did you tell her? Did you encourage her to go after _girls_? Did you?!"

"N-no! No, please. I didn't do anything. I was just trying to help, she's a g-good girl. I doesn't matter-"

But he stops her mid-sentence with a backhand across the cheek, and she is seeing stars.

Before the black dots in her vision can fade, she hears a sound like a door being kicked in, and a familiar husky voice screaming at the top of her lungs as the hands that are pinning her to the wall disappear.

She puts one hand against her face, where the pain is dispersing like a spiderweb, and the other against her desk, trying to stay upright. Her face is throbbing, but she pulls it together long enough to see Jane with her knee in Mr. Davidson's back, keeping him firmly planted to the ground as she aggressively slaps her handcuffs over his wrists.

Two officers who work in the precinct as well come barreling into the office seconds later, one takes Danielle's father off Jane's hands and pulls him up. It is only when he is standing that Maura notices that his lip is bleeding profusely, and one eye is already almost swollen shut.

"Maura," Jane practically whimpers, taking two long steps and gathering the blonde in her arms.

She doesn't cry, oddly, although between the pregnancy hormones and the stressful case, that is all she seems to be doing lately. As soon as Jane has her in a tight embrace, she exhales loudly, letting herself fall deeper into Jane's hold. She closes her eyes and takes in the scent of Jane's hair, the feel of her strong, taut muscles keeping her grounded. Like an anchor that is preventing her from drifting away.

"I'm so sorry Maur, I should have known. I should have gotten down here faster." She pushes Maura's shoulders gently so she can get a better look at her face. Her eyes soften, and she looks like she could fall apart as she lets her fingers dance over the bruise beginning to form just above Maura's jaw line.

"God, I'm so so-"

"Shut up," Maura interrupts, and puts one had on Jane's cheek, stroking it for a short moment before pulling her in for a kiss. There is no arousal in it, no hot tingly feeling spreading from the inside out like it usually does. Instead, it is soft, gently, reassuring. It is _thank you for saving my life_ and _I don't know what I would do without you. _It is _I love you, and I will never leave you. So long as you never leave me._

* * *

**I cannot even begin to explain how sorry I am for becoming one of those writers who practically disappears from their story. I am so so so so incredibly, horribly sorry. I only have one class left that I am in danger of failing, so things are getting a little better. I'm hoping to be back to my frequent update routine soon, and if I haven't said it enough already, I love you guys like crazy and your reviews make me feel all fuzzy and loved inside. You people are truly incredible.**

**Much love, and thanks, and apologies, and gratitude...**

**J.**


	39. Chapter 39

Maura strolls out of the bathroom with a towel around her body, and one in her hand tousling her hair dry. She makes her way to the closet, but stops as she catches her own reflection in the full length mirror hanging behind the door. She has a hard time remembering the last time she got a good look at her self, her _whole _self. Gingerly, she throws the hair towel over the footrest of the bed and stands squarely in front of the mirror.

The ever-present bags under her eyes look even darker now that she has washed away her make-up, her cheeks are full, but no longer pink or glowing, the way so many other pregnant women are described. Now, she is just tired. So incredibly tired. She remembers when she was in med school, and she pulled all-nighters like a pro. Studying for hours on end until she physically couldn't study any more. And not too long ago, when she could pull extra shifts at the precinct to help close a case. She could go through her day on only few hours of sleep under her belt, now, though, even after nine hours of sleep, (although restless and uncomfortable) she can barely keep her eyes open.

She drops the towel from her body and stands sideways. The first word that comes to mind is enormous. She is enormous. Her stomach protrudes well past the rest of her, and ugly, slug-like stretch marks ripple across the bottom of her abdomen. Some are white, older and more permanent than the pinkish purplish ones from her current pregnancy. On one side, a faint, circular, yellowing bruise in the shape of a gun barrel is finally beginning to fade.

Sway-backed, and swollen breasts that ache almost constantly now, she wonders how Jane can even look at her.

Jane.

The mirror serves as another reminder of the incredible woman she doesn't deserve.

Since the incident at the precinct, Jane has been... she doesn't even know what Jane has been, but it worries her, and even more so, scares her.

The intimacy has come to a grinding halt, and she can't say that she blames her. The woman in the mirror is anything but arousing. She all but ordered Maura to begin her maternity leave, even though it was a few weeks premature.

Maura agreed without argument, and after they got home from Maura's check-up, Jane said she was going to go for a walk.

Maura had been about to stop her, but Jane had been out the door without another word.

That night, when Jane had finally come home to find Maura already in bed, reading silently, she looked older than Maura had ever seen her. The weight of the guilt and worry and fear that was pressing down on her shoulders had left its mark. And a single realization made Maura's heart drop into her stomach.

I may be the pregnant one, but she is barely standing.

She would hold her. Every single night, not that she wouldn't do that anyway, but this was different. Every night since the day in the morgue, Jane would come home late and crawl in to bed next to her wife. With no intentions of being intimate, she would drape her long arms around the blonde, and would wake up every morning in a position like that of a human shield, with most of her body covering Maura's protectively.

Maura wanted to talk.

Jane did not.

Whenever Maura tried to discuss how Jane was feeling, or asked her if she was alright, Jane would wave her off dismissively and find an excuse to walk away. Sometimes even leaving the house for hours at a time.

That's what happened tonight, Maura's thoughts are jarred into reality as she rips her gaze away from the mirror and to the bedroom window. She sees headlights briefly illuminate the room and then fade, just as she hears an engine kill in the driveway. Jane's home.

She throws on one of Jane's old flannels and a pair of maternity panties and pushes the curtains aside to glance out the window.

Jane has not exited the car. Instead she sits in the drivers seat, motionless, staring at the closed front door in front of her, obviously deep in thought. Today's reason for Jane's departure was yet again due to Maura asking her if she was alright.

Jane had rearranged all the furniture in the baby's room, the crib now sat on the opposite end of the room, away from the window. Jane said it was safer to have the baby closer to the door, it meant they could get to him faster. Then she started talking about this new state-of-the-art baby monitor with cameras you could put above the crib that sent live feed to the master bedroom.

"That...sounds like a great idea, sweetheart." Maura had agreed carefully. But Jane continued to speak as if she hadn't said a thing.

"Maybe we should move the nursery to the bedroom next to ours, it's a little bit closer. Better yet, what if he just stays in our room? Just until he's old enough-"

Maura silenced her with a soft touch to her arm, and they finally made eye contact. "Tell me," Maura had whispered. "Jane, tell me-"

But Jane shrugged away, mumbling something about the local 'Babies R Us' carrying that state-of-the-art baby monitor.

And now here she was, staring out the front windshield of her car, shopping bag in hand, trying to find the strength, the will, to get up and go inside.

She lets her head fall slowly onto the steering wheel, sighing heavily at the contact.

Maura watches her struggle from the window, close to tears. How had she let it get this bad? They aren't even married yet and they are having what would be classified as 'marital problems'.

After a few minutes Jane finally wipes angrily at the stray tears that had escaped and gets out of the car, only then does Maura finally leave the window and crawl under the covers.

* * *

_"So, everything is...okay?" Jane asked nervously._

_"Yes Jane, everything is _still _okay." The doctor replies, not unkindly._

_Jane releases a large breath of air ans runs a hand through her curls. "Good, that's good."_

_Maura steals a glance and the detective and reaches for her hand, wanting to hold it as the doctor moves the ultrasound wand over her stomach, the screen filling with life and their baby boy._

_But Jane's grasp only lasts a second and is gone again._

_The doctor has mercy on Maura and fills the awkward silence. "Well, it looks like we're coming in on the home stretch. From any point now you could go into labor, I'm actually a bit surprised that you haven't already. 38 weeks isn't perfect, but a lot of women are usually in the delivery room by now."_

_Maura nods and listens intently with one ear, the other listening to Jane's boots as they pace around the exam room._

_"Have you been feeling any discomfort, Maura?" This question finally gets Jane's head to lift just a bit._

_"Nothing out of the ordinary. My back hurts a little, and I can't stand for too long, but that's been my normal since the third trimester started"_

_"Alrighty, sounds good, do you have any questions?"_

_"Just one," Maura says. "I know the common methods of activating labor, but in your professional opinion, what works best? I just want to know what's equally safe and effective."_

_The doctor smiles, "eager to get the little guy out?"_

_Maura sighs and nods, whispering "I don't know how much longer of this I can take." As if to back her up, the baby gives her a hard kick in the ribs, causing her to wince. _

_The doctor eyes her sympathetically and rubs at the spot where she saw the baby kick. "Walking can help sometimes, and some of my patients say that some herbs and home remedies work, everyone is different." She removes her hand from Maura's belly and leans back in her chair. "But what is most effective is intercourse, semen has been shown to activate labor, but that's obviously not a factor here."_

_Maura chuckles lightly. Jane continues pacing._

_"Everyone is different, try what works for you."_

* * *

The front door opens and closes, heavy footfalls track their way through the living room and into the kitchen. She listens as Jane opens the fridge, then silence before it closes again. She got a water bottle no doubt, part of her routine before bed. Good, Maura thinks, the bed is so cold without her.

Jane begins her accent up the stairs, stopping at the third and fourth step to slide off each shoe.

by the time she reaches the bedroom, Maura has turned off the bedside lamp and has settled in comfortably. Her belly resting on its side against her body pillow, but her top half turned to the door to watch Jane walk in.

They make eye contact for a moment, and then Maura turns away, settling her head down on the pillow and closing her eyes.

Jane sighs heavily, like the weight of the world is on her shoulders. And it is, the weight of _her_ world at least.

Maura is a few days shy of 39 weeks, and Jane doesn't need to ask her to know that she is miserable. She walked in on her crying a couple days ago when she got out of the shower and couldn't put lotion on her legs because her stomach was in the way.

And tonight, just before the detective stormed out the front door, she heard the first few whimpers of her girlfriends sobbing before she slammed the door behind her.

And for that, she felt like the scum of the earth.

Who walks away when the love of their life, who is in a hurricane mixture of agony and bliss because they are carrying YOUR child, is crying for the only person who can make them feel better?

"Maura," Jane whispers, walking to her side of the bed.

The blonde opens her eyes but doesn't move, taking in the sight before her. Jane's disheveled and forlorn face, hair more unruly than usual with the humidity they have been having.

"I want to talk now. I mean..." She runs a hand over her face. "I'm ready to talk."

Maura is about to open her mouth, but thinks better of it. She doesn't want to drive Jane away again, and that's all her words seem to be doing lately. So she stay's quiet, and nods in understanding.

Jane drops her glance to her fingers, twiddling idly in her lap.

"I'm...I'm scared, Maura." Her voice trembles when it passes over the name, and she shuts her eyes for the briefest of moments.

She starts over.

"I love you, I love you so much it scares me sometimes. Because you changed me, Maur. You changed me into this person that- that I wouldn't recognize if I met myself ten years ago."_  
_

Worry lines deepen on Maura face, and Jane realizes what her words sound like.

"Not in a bad way!" No, never. You changed me into someone I never thought I'd be." The brunette rakes two fingers through Maura's hair, pushing it away to better see her eyes. "I love you. And I love him, and I love you more and more everyday for giving me him, for giving _us _him. God, Maura. I love you for making me better, you have truly made me the best person I can be."

Now Maura looks confused, this isn't the conversation they were supposed to have.

But she sees it coming now.

"But, even though you have made me this better, happier person, I keep remembering I'm still only human. And the world is still a terrible place. And there is so much that I _can't _do to prevent either of you from all of that." Her lips trembles a bit, and she grabs it with her teeth before sitting up straight again.

"I can't ask you to sit in the house all day with the doors locked and never go outside, even if that's exactly what I want sometimes. To lock you both up and never let the awful things in the world touch you."

Maura cannot stay silent any more. "I'm not a child," she says quietly. "And as much as I love you for being so protective, I am a grown woman, and I can handle all the bad things this world has to offer just as well as you can. However differently I choose to do it."

There is a silence for a moment that Jane uses to absorb and reabsorb what Maura has just said.

"I know, I know you are. It's just my instinct, sweetheart." And it's the pet name that finally causes Maura's tears to surface.

"Dammit," the blonde says breathlessly as she wipes at her cheeks, and Jane places a hand over hers.

"I want to protect you both so much, and when I can't..." she shakes her head. "It makes me the biggest failure I could ever be."

"Jane, you know as well as I do that you are no failure. You know," and she sits up on the bed, supporting her belly with both hands. "That the world will always be full of evil, and of good, and of arrogant people who will never change. I don't want to raise a child in a world full of flaws either, but the world isn't going to change. We have to."

At this, Jane locks eyes with her.

"We have to be the reason this baby finds its way into the world, and we're already almost there." She smiles, and Jane drops both her hands onto the abdomen between them. "We have to be the ones to show our son that the world isn't perfect, but it isn't scary either. It took me years to figure that out, Jane. It took _you _for me to figure that out. Darling," she strokes Jane's cheek. "This baby is going to be so loved, so loved."

And with only a single sob escaping, Jane pulls Maura's face in with both hands and kisses her tenderly. Over and over again until they are motionless, their lips still connected and hot tears mingling on their cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Jane murmurs into her mouth. "I need to stop being such a lunatic."

Maura just smiles, "babies make people crazy."

They pull apart, but fall back on the bed together, holding each other close. Not a moment of silence passes before Maura groans uncomfortably, lifting her hips slightly to take pressure off her back.

"God, this baby is making ME crazy." She whines, but sincerely.

But instead of Jane's usual cuddling and comforting, a timid smile cracks over her features, and she slips an arm under Maura's lifted hips before hovering over her.

"What are you-" but the question is but short when Jane pushes Maura's shirt up to her breasts, and Jane straightens momentarily to remove her own v-neck.

"Oh god, Jane, this is very sexy, and I love make up sex, but I seriously cannot even begin to-" cut short again, this time by the removal of Jane's bra.

"This baby is making you crazy, and he's making me crazy, so let's get him moving, shall we?" Jane smirks again and climbs off of the blonde before walking into the closet.

Maura props herself up on her elbows and waits. After a moment, Jane strolls out with a plastic bag in her hand.

"What's that?" The blonde asks.

"A...present. I've had it for a little while-I didn't know how- or if you even wanted- just here." She thrusts it into Maura's hands and waits.

"Oh," Maura whispers as she takes in the contents of the bag. "Oh, _Jane." _Escaping from her lips like redemption.

"I figured, since I didn't have any semen to help jump start your labor, this was the next best thing." She chuckles lightly, trying to get her blush to stop climbing up her neck. Buying the thing had been embarrassing enough, now to be rejected by it?

But Maura's response is jovial and immediate. She lurches forward as much as she can and throws her arms around Jane's neck, pushing their mouths together hard enough to make the brunette moan.

"So. I did okay?" Jane asks as they shift together down the bed.

"Jane, so good. Yes." Maura barely manages, sliding her tongue into Jane's open mouth when the opportunity arises. The detective hums her delight, and slides her hand up and down the doctors sides, finally stopping at her hips, where she grabs a little tightly and thrusts her own pelvis into it lightly.

Maura gasps, and her eyes fall shut, her breathing already getting more and more erratic. Jane had missed this so much, the way Maura would just melt at her touch. Like putty in her hands.

Without losing contact of their mouths, Jane reaches for the toy, kicking the bag off the bed and sitting up slightly to get the harness over her hips. But Maura unlatches their lips momentarily, watching unabashedly with lustful eyes as Jane adjusts herself.

If Maura can be putty, Jane can too.

Maura keeps their eyes locked, and slowly begins to unbutton the flannel. One by one, unveiling more and more of her cleavage until there is little left to the imagination, but Jane doesn't need to imagine them anyway, she's got them memorized.

Jane's pupil grow big and dark, and against her already dark brown eyes, they look almost predatory, it makes Maura moan.

In a second Jane is finished, and she practically pounces on her girlfriend careful of her belly, and hovers over her, using one skilled hand to push the shirt all the way off. And soon after, slide down her panties.

Maura reaches behind Jane and unclasps her bra, the only thing left on her, she doesn't even remember when she shed the rest of her clothing, but she doesn't really care either.

They are both naked, panting, sweating, and they haven't even started yet. Jane's hair is wild and un-tameable around them, and Maura has never seen anything so god damned sexy in her life.

"Maura," Jane's gravely and breathless moan breaks the silence. "Tell me, you'll tell me if I hurt you, right?"

Jane's momentary pause to assure her loves comfort and safety makes Maura want to cry. She nods fiercely and grabs a hold of Jane's waist, pulling and inviting until she finally replies.

She lines up the toy with Maura's entrance, and in one slow, but powerful motion, slides it all the way in to the hilt.

And Maura could already fall apart. Her mouth opens into a small 'o' and he back arches up off the bed. "Oh, goddd," she cries quietly. But then Jane does it again, and again, and she is moaning her name and she is moaning hers back.

Jane sets a beautiful rhythm, holding Maura from underneath her, holding them close and tight together, grinding erotically into her, nipping and sucking and kissing lightly all over her chest.

Maura has one hand on Jane's ass, pushing and encouraging, while the other is in her hair, moving it away from her face and pulling it just the way she knows Jane likes it.

The brunette picks up the pace a little, moving up so that each time she pulls out and goes back in, the toy slides past Maura's clit and through her folds.

"Oh, Oh Jane oh god, baby, please." The blondes broken voice is barely audibly as she is thrusted into harder and slower and deeper. This is all she wanted, all she needed, and as usual, Jane read her mind.

God, she loves this woman so much, _so _much.

She pulls her face up for a kiss, and their tongues morph into each other without breaking rhythm. "I love you, I love you." The blonde moans into her mouth.

She can feel Jane's smile on her lips, "I love you too, I love you both." A throaty whisper that initiates Maura's next words.

"Oh, my god. So closes baby, I'm so close."

Jane latches on to Maura's neck and grinds into her with the force of a hurricane. And Maura's head falls back on the pillows.

They can hear just how turned on they both are, how wet, how wanting. It would be embarrassing to anyone else, but it only serves to drive them more.

In seconds, Maura can feel the warm tingling rising up her legs. She grabs tightly to Jane, digging her nails into her back. Shaking, writhing, her orgasm rips through her with such force that she is temporarily blinded, white lights popping up behind her eyes. Jane is grounding her, making her fly, sliding herself through her folds lightly. Maura feels like she is both falling apart and being brought back together.

Tears are running down her face, and when they are both finally able to breather again, to form words, Jane looks at her with worry in hr eyes.

"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, you should have said-"

"No, no," Maura silences her, and holds her face in her hands. "Hor-hormones."

Jane smiles lightly, and saddles up next to her in bed, sliding out of the harness and trowing the blanket over them both. She leans in and kisses Maura tenderly.

"I'm never leaving, I'm not going anywhere, ever. I promise " Whispered into the doctors ear, making more tears develop in the corner of her eye. It's everything she needed an more.

"She manages to choke out, "I love more than I could ever tell you, I always will." And it's everything that Jane needed to hear, too.

\

* * *

**I am so so so so sorry. I haven't updated in forever and I am a shitty person for making you all wait so long. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support and your reviews, you have no clue how much they keep me going. **

**Suffered from a sever case of writers block, and please, please, feel free to drop ideas to me via PM or review. I take each and every one into consideration.**

**I love you guys, thank you, I'm sorry, and you're welcome.**

**J.**


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